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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-23-2010, 03:57 AM
This is going to be a list thread for foreigners where you add ways to not ruin the U.S.A. after immigration.
- Leave your religion at home.
- Follow American laws
- Stop littering
- Kids play baseball, not soccer
- Learn English, already!
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her -
06-23-2010, 05:28 AM
6. Find a job right away! Don't come here and expect a free welfare check. But, don't get a good job either, because you'll be stealing them away from Americans.
7. Name your kids good ol' American names like John, Joseph, or James. No more Pedros, Wangs, or Muhammads.
8. You will salute the American flag and burn all flags belonging to your native country.
9. If you're going to move here, please stay in your own country's ghetto in a large urban city, so you won't be our neighbors and we'll know where you are and how to avoid you.
10. Dress in American fashion. Don't wear sombreros or burkas. Wear American-flag T-shirts, shorts, and fanny packs. Wal-Mart is an excellent place for clothes.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her -
06-23-2010, 05:36 AM
11. No more bloody Jesus candles.
12. No more plastic nativity scenes, except during Christmas.
13. No pink flamingos in the yard. Maybe I could tell if pink flamingos had moved into the neighborhood if they had plastic Mexicans in the lawn.
14. Quit throwing such fabulous parties that I am not invited to. It makes me want to call the cops.
15. No, I will not buy your stinking tamales. If you wanted my business, you would have made hamburgers.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,619
Join Date: May 2010
Location: At all times between Genesis and Revelation
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Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her -
06-23-2010, 06:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
6. Find a job right away! Don't come here and expect a free welfare check. But, don't get a good job either, because you'll be stealing them away from Americans.
7. Name your kids good ol' American names like John, Joseph, or James. No more Pedros, Wangs, or Muhammads.
8. You will salute the American flag and burn all flags belonging to your native country.
9. If you're going to move here, please stay in your own country's ghetto in a large urban city, so you won't be our neighbors and we'll know where you are and how to avoid you.
10. Dress in American fashion. Don't wear sombreros or burkas. Wear American-flag T-shirts, shorts, and fanny packs. Wal-Mart is an excellent place for clothes.
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I would like to elaborate on #7 if I may. No new fangled zulu negro names like Epyqfni = pronounced "phonetically" as "Mike". What the heck is up with that! there is no M there at all!
There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
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Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar Biblical Black Belt Jr. Pastor
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,232
Join Date: Dec 2008
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Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her -
06-23-2010, 06:41 AM
16. Do not get married to any REAL Americans.
17. Do not make smelly food of your native country. Eat only what we eat.
18. Let your children learn their place early in life so they don't steal all of our scholarships and honor roll spots.
19. Don't be a burden on us tax payers - get your children in the work force as soon as possible.
20. Be prepard to work for less money than we do, and be damn happy about it!
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,175
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her -
06-23-2010, 01:34 PM
Oh, and when you build churches to house your false religions, make the roofs look like chruches, not mushrooms.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her -
06-23-2010, 01:43 PM
Do not come to a retailer and expect me to learn your language, my job is to take your money and not translate why. And no I am not running a flea market where you can pay for a washer and dryer with 2 camels and a danm goat.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-23-2010, 04:43 PM
Do not have ethnic-heritage festivals, and especially do not expect us to shut down major streets in Washington or New York so that you can do so. If you're so proud of your heritage, celebrate it in your own country, and shut the streets of your own major cities (if your country has any).
Do not open restaurants featuring your country's cooking. If you absolutely must do so, at least adapt it to fit red-state American palates, even if that means altering it beyond recognition. Only other foreigners and blue-state hipsters want to eat your country's authentic food, and the hipsters are just faking it to impress other hipsters.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-23-2010, 04:46 PM
Leran what soap and toilet paper are for (keep wiping until the paper is clean).
Use deoderant and mouthwash regularly.
Sty off our beaches and out of our parks. Those are for us to use.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Holland
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Re: Foreigners: How to not ruin the United States if you move her -
06-23-2010, 05:25 PM
Yerr you mexican scum you better learn are language!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Holland
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-23-2010, 05:30 PM
Just dont move to America, Seems as if even your own country has more freedom!
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-23-2010, 05:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Casanova
Just dont move to America, Seems as if even your own country has more freedom!
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This is actually good advice. All of the people worthy of living in America moved here ages ago and liberated it from the hands of savage Indian squatters.
It might be nice if a lot of you who have moved here already went back home to your native country.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-23-2010, 07:27 PM
Please don't relentlessly "undress" us with your eyes!
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-23-2010, 09:48 PM
If you happen to hear an ethnic slur yelled at you behind your back, you'd best just keep walking.
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Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
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Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-23-2010, 10:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
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This will not help you as they do not use English in the usa, they don't even use the same alphabet for example the last letter of the English alphabet is pronounced ZED not Zee.
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-25-2010, 01:43 PM
Turn down the boom boom stereos in your cars, people two blocks away do not need to hear it. Nigras and messicans must be deaf!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,216
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: West of Eden
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-25-2010, 02:01 PM
In the case of the British that want to come here;
* I would strongly urge that if you are one of those British deviants that like to be whipped, caned, and/or buggered, just stay in Godless Britain.
* if you display the 'classic' British mincing, prancing, sniggering homo mannerisms that all of us Godly Americans loathe, just stay in Godless Britain
* if you dote on the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family, be advised, we do not cotton to that here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain
* if you think the ghastly British food is edible (Bovril, marmite, eels, faggots and mash, etc.) please note we don't have any of that homo horror food here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain.
Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are un Godly among them of all their un Godly deeds which they have un Godly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which un Godly sinners have spoken against him.
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-25-2010, 04:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakland "Reb" Griner
In the case of the British that want to come here;
* I would strongly urge that if you are one of those British deviants that like to be whipped, caned, and/or buggered, just stay in Godless Britain.
* if you display the 'classic' British mincing, prancing, sniggering homo mannerisms that all of us Godly Americans loathe, just stay in Godless Britain
* if you dote on the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family, be advised, we do not cotton to that here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain
* if you think the ghastly British food is edible (Bovril, marmite, eels, faggots and mash, etc.) please note we don't have any of that homo horror food here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain.
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Thank you, Brother Griner!! You are OH so right!!!
The wimpy homo British Eurotrash deviants (such as Sir Elton John, Oscar Wilde, Sir Ian McKellen, Quentin Crisp, Freddie Mercury, Andrew Sullivan, Boy George, Hugh Grant, Joe Orton, Sir Richard Attenborough, David Beckham, Rowan Atkinson, Tony Blair, Patrick Stewart, Dame Judy Dench, George Best, Leslie Howard, Sir Paul McCartney, etc.) become aroused by eating the terrible British food. It is bordering on S&M.
P.S. I have been told that British homersexurals have a code: if you have "Sir" in front of your name, it means you're a whory bottom always ready for hot action.
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...but now is found.
True Christian™
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Posts: 489
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: On an island in the North Atlantic
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-25-2010, 05:26 PM
I'm not an American but I do have the privilege of living next door to God's favorite country. Thank you Jesus for that gift.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here -
06-25-2010, 06:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakland "Reb" Griner
* if you dote on the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family, be advised, we do not cotton to that here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain
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Indeed. The blue states already have public facilities named after queens; about the last thing we need to do is to encourage that nonsense.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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