False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more! |
|
Hellbound atheist - avoid contact
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 53
Join Date: Aug 2007
|
|
Smoking vs Religion -
08-24-2007, 04:19 PM
How is smoking different from religion? - Smoking damages your physical health, but religion damages your mental health.
- Smokers don't kill each other over which brand is better.
- A smoker doesn't get ostracized by his family for quitting or switching brands.
- Smokers don't get upset if their daughters marry non-smokers.
- Smokers don't require their young children to start smoking.
- Smokers don't evangelize to non smokers - "Friend, have you heard about a place called 'Flavor Country'?"
--Joe
Have you heard the Good News? There are no gods, there is no hell, and the only sin is being mean to other people.
There are no ghosts, pixies, hobgoblins, angels, leprechauns, gods, goddesses, demons, minotaurs, devils, witches, warlocks, dragons, or spirits.
Prayer, magic spells, and doing nothing accomplish exactly the same thing.
|
|
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Smoking vs Religion -
08-24-2007, 04:26 PM
Friend, you are right!
We True Christians ™ MUST start acting like smokers!
We MUST go out and send our message to everyone (second hand smoke)! We should provide this second hand smoke to everyone, the more people we can give cancer to (heaven) from our smoking the better job we do.
Friend, your smoking metaphor is perfect.
Praise Jesus for you!
I propose a new Landover Baptist Mission.
Something like:
Smoke a butt for the Lord.
PRAISE JESUS for you Brother Joe!!!
YIC
V
|
|
Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
|
|
Re: Smoking vs Religion -
08-26-2007, 09:55 PM
Smoking is Biblical. We even know the brand of choice!
Genesis 24: 63-64
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
|
|
Senior Pastor VP of Evangelical Outreach On FIRE for Jesus
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,016
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Libertydale, NC
|
|
Re: Smoking vs Religion -
08-27-2007, 06:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Smoking is Biblical. We even know the brand of choice!
Genesis 24: 63-64
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
|
My daughter's name is Rebekah, and Camel is her brand. I'd like to see some atheist try to pass that off as "coincidence"
She just finished her first week as a freshman at Landover University. I'm so proud.
Pastor Billy-Reuben
Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.
✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
#ChristianLivesMatter
|
|
Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
|
|
Re: Smoking vs Religion -
08-27-2007, 09:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben
My daughter's name is Rebekah, and Camel is her brand. I'd like to see some atheist try to pass that off as "coincidence"
She just finished her first week as a freshman at Landover University. I'm so proud.
Pastor Billy-Reuben
|
Do you know, Pastor, I'd completely forgotten about your Daughter.
It's great that we can teach our kids to be both not seen AND not heard!!
Just in case ANYONE has any doubts, here is Divine proof:
He even blows his own Halo!
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
|
|
Re: Smoking vs Religion -
08-27-2007, 08:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Just in case ANYONE has any doubts, here is Divine proof:
Attachment 2301
He even blows his own Halo!
|
Ooooooooooh isn't He lovely, isn't He gorgeous? both manly and Divine! GLORY!
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Last edited by Sister Noddy; 08-27-2007 at 08:34 PM.
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|