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Posts: 19
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: RO/Bucharest
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-09-2011, 07:32 PM
Portway. My initial username was deVart untill some frustrated moderator changed it(guess what, out of frustration...).
All the demons are in your people's heads.
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist. They're a mere invention of the human mind(mind that seeks answers beiond his coping capabilities).
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations? He never helped me even if I asked for his help.
God is fiction you insane creeps.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 249
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Godless Cannukistan
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-09-2011, 07:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by defart
Portway. My initial username was deVart untill some frustrated moderator changed it(guess what, out of frustration...).
All the demons are in your people's heads.
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist. They're a mere invention of the human mind(mind that seeks answers beiond his coping capabilities).
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations? He never helped me even if I asked for his help.
God is fiction you insane creeps.
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You think this is an invention of the mind? If True Christian™ Proctologists were not doing their job, the secular industry would take over.
http://pinkboard.co.uk
Friends, never go to a proctologist outside of Landover.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-09-2011, 07:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by defart
All the demons are in your people's heads.
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Didn't you see the title of the thread - Your head may be up your colon, our heads aren't.
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Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist.
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And that, my friend, is why Hell is full to overflowing
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And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
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God is love.
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Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations?
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He does! He offers Salvation™
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He never helped me even if I asked for his help.
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To be frank, I would have difficulty helping you, as you are an atheist.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 78
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Denver, Colorado
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-09-2011, 10:10 PM
I own a cat... Does that put demons in my rectum?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-09-2011, 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nighthawk
I own a cat... Does that put demons in my rectum?
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it depends....is it a ginger cat
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 78
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Denver, Colorado
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-09-2011, 10:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryPie
it depends....is it a ginger cat
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No, she's a calico named Lady Barbossa. She has a black eye patch, so she needed a pirate name.
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Posts: 19
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: RO/Bucharest
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-09-2011, 10:59 PM
I'm a forced atheist. As I mentioned somewhere else in this forum, I was raised to be a good christian. muhaha
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-09-2011, 11:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by defart
Portway. My initial username was deVart untill some frustrated moderator changed it(guess what, out of frustration...).
All the demons are in your people's heads.
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist. They're a mere invention of the human mind(mind that seeks answers beiond his coping capabilities).
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations? He never helped me even if I asked for his help.
God is fiction you insane creeps.
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I don't care how you spell fart in your country you foreign pervert, a butt addict is a butt addict is a BUTT ADDICT no matter how you slice it!
And you're the crazy one if you think God, the Devil, and demons don't exist. I feel sorry for you actually, since you don't have to believe in Hell for Jesus to send you there for all eternity!
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Posts: 2
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-09-2011, 11:27 PM
And how are those rectal demons cleaned out if I may ask?
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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-10-2011, 12:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugarfree
And how are those rectal demons cleaned out if I may ask?
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I normally do not resort to such obvious tactics, but a post as lazy as this one deserves exactly this sort of response:
READ THE THREAD
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
True Christian™
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Posts: 803
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: In Heaven with Jesus
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-10-2011, 04:17 AM
In one of our recent corporate takeovers, my company recently became the majority shareholder in a well-known plumbing repair business. Although our original intent was simply to monopolize yet another essential service (and thus raise prices), this thread has certainly given me some good ideas on how to expand into new markets.
I see no reason why we couldn't offer personalized home service. You can get your drains cleaned and rectal demons exorcised in just one session. We plan to start distributing 2-for-1 coupons next month.
Clean drains, relieve constipation, exorcise demons. We do it all!
Our specially trained experts now attend classes in plumbing, proctology and exorcism. When it comes to such sensitive matters, it's best to call in the experts. Don't be tempted to hire some illegal Mexican with a garden hose - we're talking about your health here, not to mention your soul. Why take chances?
Pastor Ted Haggard, a satisfied customer.
For an extra fee, devout Christians can have the procedure performed by none other than Joe-the-Plumber himself. He's had more experience with rectal servicing that practically anyone in the business.
Of course, if you're one of those do-it-yourself types, we offer both sales and rentals of the necessary equipment.
Individual responsibility healthcare:
Why not do it yourself?
I'd recommend an annual demon-cleaning at least twice a year. It's the Christian thing to do.
Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred
CEO, The Uranus Corporation
Put your faith in Uranus!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 78
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Denver, Colorado
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-10-2011, 09:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
We do not perform exorcism. That is a catholic occupation.
Get those mary worshipers in and it wouldn't just be Demons they wanted from your Rectum.
If you are a skirt wearing nancy boy from North England then there is your problem.
Demons just love men in skirts.
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Yes they do. It takes a real man, a kilted Highland warrior, to kick them out on his own.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-12-2011, 12:33 PM
How dare you judge people in that way? Isn't it only God who is in charge of who goes to hell and who does not? Your narrow-minded way of thinking is so ridiculous - If this is not a joke, then have fun cleaning people's asses, it doesn't help anything.
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The Sermonator
True Christian™
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Posts: 190
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: RIDING WITH THE SON
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-12-2011, 12:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Market Fred
In one of our recent corporate takeovers, my company recently became the majority shareholder in a well-known plumbing repair business. Although our original intent was simply to monopolize yet another essential service (and thus raise prices), this thread has certainly given me some good ideas on how to expand into new markets.
I see no reason why we couldn't offer personalized home service. You can get your drains cleaned and rectal demons exorcised in just one session. We plan to start distributing 2-for-1 coupons next month.
Clean drains, relieve constipation, exorcise demons. We do it all!
Our specially trained experts now attend classes in plumbing, proctology and exorcism. When it comes to such sensitive matters, it's best to call in the experts. Don't be tempted to hire some illegal Mexican with a garden hose - we're talking about your health here, not to mention your soul. Why take chances?
Pastor Ted Haggard, a satisfied customer.
For an extra fee, devout Christians can have the procedure performed by none other than Joe-the-Plumber himself. He's had more experience with rectal servicing that practically anyone in the business.
Of course, if you're one of those do-it-yourself types, we offer both sales and rentals of the necessary equipment.
Individual responsibility healthcare:
Why not do it yourself?
I'd recommend an annual demon-cleaning at least twice a year. It's the Christian thing to do.
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Brother! It's just beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes just looking at it.
It sure beats using a pair of gauntlets and a hook thing on the end of a stick.
Where do I sign?
I'm sure this Heaven-sent device is going to be perfect for the removal of Cooter demons too.
GLORY!!!!
JUDGEMENT DAY
"I'll Be Back!!"
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-16-2011, 10:47 AM
Can i kill them by shitting them out?
Posted via Mobile Device
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 249
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Godless Cannukistan
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-16-2011, 03:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SDSDSDS
Can i kill them by shitting them out?
Posted via Mobile Device
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No.
They will be with you for life. Unless you and turn for Jesus to heal you.
YIC
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-20-2011, 06:35 PM
do zionist jews go to hell?
...wouldn't that mean your god is in hell too?
your solution to the jewish problem
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-20-2011, 08:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jorgen
do zionist jews go to hell?
...wouldn't that mean your god is in hell too?
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God is omnipresent. Pedophile false prophets like Muhammed are in Hell and nowhere else.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-20-2011, 09:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jorgen
do zionist jews go to hell?
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Yes. Duh!
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...wouldn't that mean your god is in hell too?
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No. Duh!
Mark 16:16 "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned."
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Unsaved trash, cripple
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Carrboro, NC
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Re: Colonic Demons? -
06-21-2011, 02:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Amen Brother Eddie! I can't tell you how many hours I have spent cleaning demons out of nubile young men's rectums! From the boy brothels of Bombay to the sin salons of Singapore, I've called upon the Holy Ghost to keep my resolve ROCK HARD in the saddle. It's a tough, sweaty job but someone's got to do it.
Shout GLORY!
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I LOVE YOU Landover Baptist! You saved me from the fiery pits of hell!!!
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