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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-06-2006, 06:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
[/color]
Fall into the ocean??? And when do you predict this will happen? Care to make a bet?


Say it all you like, doesn't make it right!


Ok:
This for starters:
Revelation 7:1
And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree.

And also this:
Isaiah 11:12
And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.

And let's not forget the classics:


Genesis 1: 1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

2 Now the earth was [a] formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
6 And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water." 7 So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. 8 God called the expanse "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.
9 And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. 10 God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good.
11 Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so. 12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.
14 And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. 16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.
20 And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky." 21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth." 23 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.
24 And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. 25 God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, [b] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
29 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so. 31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Pretty much all of that, right there!
I'd say it's fair to say that these are not SCIENTIFICALLY ACCEPTED FACTS.
Nonononono. Not sentences, not phrases, not groups of words. I said EACH WORD.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-06-2006, 08:50 AM

That isn't playing fair!! But if you're playing it that way, how about the words 'god' and 'jesus' for a start?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-06-2006, 08:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
That isn't playing fair!! But if you're playing it that way, how about the words 'god' and 'jesus' for a start?
I do believe they are both in the dictionary. Thus, they are perfectly fine. It will behoove you, in the future, to read what I write instead of reading what you THINK I wrote.


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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-06-2006, 12:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
From this site:


So there.
So quoting some nonsense about goats drawing the Volvo of a socialist homodemon proves that goats have nothing to do with socialism, demons or sodomy, does it? You are cracked in the head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Van Hellsin
Care to make a bet?
Why bother? We both know you'll just try and Jew your way out of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Van Hellbound
I'd say it's fair to say that these are not SCIENTIFICALLY ACCEPTED FACTS.
And I'd say it's fair to say that they are CREATION SCIENTIFICALLY ACCEPTED FACTS.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-06-2006, 09:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I do believe they are both in the dictionary. Thus, they are perfectly fine. It will behoove you, in the future, to read what I write instead of reading what you THINK I wrote.
Well excuse me Mr Picky!
And you can't go by what's in the dictionary, not everything in the dictionary is a scientifically accepted fact. And if you are going based on that reasoning then the following appears in the dictionary also:

gnome1 –noun
1.(in folklore) one of a species of diminutive beings, usually described as shriveled little old men, that inhabit the interior of the earth and act as guardians of its treasures; troll.

gob·lin
a grotesque sprite or elf that is mischievous or malicious toward people.

So are you saying gnomes and goblins are scientifically accepted facts too?

Quote:
So quoting some nonsense about goats drawing the Volvo of a socialist homodemon proves that goats have nothing to do with socialism, demons or sodomy, does it? You are cracked in the head.
I'm not saying that. I'm saying that in this case it doesn't.

Quote:
Why bother? We both know you'll just try and Jew your way out of it.
Bah. One doesn't need to bet for money. You can just....you know, bet, no prize involved except winning the bet.

Quote:
And I'd say it's fair to say that they are CREATION SCIENTIFICALLY ACCEPTED FACTS.
Creation science, yes. Not mainstream science.



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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-06-2006, 10:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
gnome1 –noun
1.(in folklore) one of a species of diminutive beings, usually described as shriveled little old men, that inhabit the interior of the earth and act as guardians of its treasures; troll.


So are you saying gnomes and goblins are scientifically accepted facts too?
.
The existence of gnomes has been confirmed by the finest Christian scholars. Let's look at your definition again, shall we? Gnomes are "a species of diminutive beings" .... "shriveled little old men" .... "that inhabit the interior of the earth". Right?

Class, please open your textbooks to Exodus, chapter 20:

Exodus 20:4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
Exodus 20:5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, .....
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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-06-2006, 11:25 PM

Oh my. This has taken an interesting turn, debating about gnomes. I'm not talking about small shrivelled old men who live in subway tunnels. I'm talking about this race of supposedly magical treasure-guardians.

And what about goblins? What's your excuse for goblins then? Hey, goblins may well exist, but they aren't a scientifically accepted fact.



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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-07-2006, 12:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
And what about goblins? What's your excuse for goblins then?
You want excuses? What's your excuse for "goblin'" up Jesus' precious bandwidth with your atheistic nonsense?
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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-07-2006, 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Oh my. This has taken an interesting turn, debating about gnomes. I'm not talking about small shrivelled old men who live in subway tunnels. I'm talking about this race of supposedly magical treasure-guardians.

And what about goblins? What's your excuse for goblins then? Hey, goblins may well exist, but they aren't a scientifically accepted fact.
Speaking of Goblins dear, you are one load your Momma should have swallowed.
(Am I allowed to say that here or is it ok because she's such a Feminatzi Bitch?)



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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-07-2006, 12:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish View Post
You want excuses? What's your excuse for "goblin'" up Jesus' precious bandwidth with your atheistic nonsense?
It isn't nonsense!! It's a valid point! The point being that if as you and Pastor Al claim, being in the dictionary automatically makes something valid, then, in other words, you're telling me that goblins, gnomes, and boogeymen are equally as valid.

When, as a matter of fact, you've argued rather vehemently before that that is not so. So, which is it? Should they perhaps add an amendment to certain parts of the dictionary saying 'Given the Landover creation science tick of approval thusly rendering it valid beyond all doubt' ?
Sheeesh. I bet you would if you could!



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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-16-2006, 12:56 PM

THIS just in: countless Christians are attempting to incinerate the demon goat, so far without success.

Quote:
Swedish Christmas goat survives attack

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Vandals tried to set fire to a giant straw goat in central Sweden but failed to burn down the traditional Christmas monument, which has been soaked with flame-resistant chemicals, officials said Friday.

The overnight raid was the season's first attack on the 43-foot-high Christmas goat in the city of Gavle, 90 miles north of Stockholm. The goat has been burned down more than 20 times in the last 40 years in what has become a yule tradition.

"Somebody tried to set fire to the right front leg, but the flame-resistant chemical worked 100 percent," said Kurt Lagerholm, chairman of the goat committee.

"There's smell of gasoline and the ribbon is a bit smutty, but otherwise it's unhurt," he said.

Since it was first erected on Dec. 3 in 1966, the goat has been hit by flaming arrows, run over by a car and even had its legs cut off — surviving only 10 times beyond Christmas Day.

This year, officials doused the straw goat with flame-resistant chemicals and set up two 24-hour Web cams to try to protect it, but Lagerholm said the overnight attackers managed to sneak past the cameras by coming in at the only angle the cameras did not reach. The suspects were still at large Friday.

Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and nazi gingerbread men. They were never caught.
Can't you just hear this conversation? "Daddy, what did you do for Jesus?" ... "I'm the chairman of the goat committe, son."


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-16-2006, 01:01 PM

Well I for one am glad that at least one goat made it through for them. Funny no-one thought of flame retardants before.



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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-17-2006, 12:48 AM

Those clever rascals, Pastor! Dressing as Santa Claus and Nazi gingerbread men!

Since there are no Jews in Sweden, I imagine they encountered no resistance.
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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 12-17-2006, 09:20 AM

I'm beginning to get a bit suspicious about these Nazi gingerbread men! This is the second sighting on a second continent. I urge everyone to be attentive to the G-bread menace!


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Fireproof Swedish Goat-Demon - 01-04-2007, 02:05 PM

Well, the devil-goat survived. This sums up everything you need to know about the Swedish: they're just about capable of going a month or so without setting fire to a demon goat idol, but the idea of going a month without burning down a Church is completely beyond them.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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