BP is as American as apple pie, as American as Rupert Murdock. They have always supported personal responsibility:
See, all you Forest-Gump-wannabe shrimpers and lazy fishermen (how hard is it to catch a FISH?) when you decided to work in the Gulf of Mexico, you took a gamble, a gamble that you lost. So don't go whining to BP looking for welfare handouts just because they're successful and you're not.
And as for vacationers who like to lie on beaches? BOO-HOO! So you don't get to lie around any more. It's just God punishing you for having a lazy pasttime. When True Christians go on vacation, we don't lie around on beaches. We tear up the golf courses (and have you ever heard of an oil slick on a golf course? God would never mar His favorite hobby), we roam the streets of Bangkok converting sinners with boundless energy....Here's Brother Nobar after a trip to Bangkok, tell me, does this look like someone who's spring break has just been spent lying around on beaches?: