Jesus is procrastinating. His reasons are unfathomable but many of us have been expecting and Praying for His Second Coming, Rapture and the thorough smiting of the disgusting sinners for quite a few years. While I am 99% convinced that He will appear any day now and lift us into Heaven (1 Thessalonians 4:17), it is still possible that His Coming will be delayed (Revelation 16:15). We have neglected this possibility.
We need a Plan B.
What to do if
Jesus keeps us waiting? Our Plan B (Plan A is based on Revelation 22:20 and is the
more likely scenario) must include many pivotal points as follows:
- The continuation of gaining souls.
- The continuation of fighting sodomy and evolution.
- The continuation of Sound Doctrine and its Preaching.
- The continuation of getting our legislators to follow Jesus Christ.
Many points.
One Solution.
Two Words in addition to the Word that is Jesus (John 1:1):
Donald Trump. With
President Trump reigning
all the above questions would be answered and the Nation would continue towards the
Joys of Heaven even if
Jesus didn't return, for instance, until 2036. But
the Donald is old.
Psalms 90:10
The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
President Trump is
72. By 2036 He would be 90, well
past the normal allocation of fourscore that is dictated by Jesus. This means that
our actual plan B has to be to
prolong the lifespan of President Trump even by artificial means, if necessary. Only He can lead a reasonable proportion of the Nation into
Heaven.
Plan B in its complete form is as follows: Prevent
President Trump from aging. How to do that? Our Creation Science team now has the answer.
Me must capture, examine and utilize Adolf Hitler to discover the secret of
Eternal Youth.
Item: Hitler is
alive and
well. We have established that. However, with some recent developments our case has become even stronger. We now know that Hitler was recently
captured (but apparently he escaped) in Mexico!
Thereafter he was seen in the
soccer sodomite World Cup assisting his
alma mater, the
Nazi Germany into 7-1 victory against the Mexicans.
In addition, Hitler's been spotted
all over the world: Casually enjoying a
cup of something in an outdoor café:
Leisurely
fishing probably in the
Alps.
And even some respectable U.S. newspapers - not the fake news stations - have now
accepted that he's still kickin'!
And, if you look at the images, you can see that
he has not aged at all. He's still as youthful as he was during his active years. This means that the extremely
advanced Nazi science made him practically immortal. We know that
Vladimir Putin has used these treatments for years. So has Hitler. Are they suitable for an even Godlier man,
President Trump? What does
Jesus say? Is it OK if someone lives more than the fourscore years that
Jesus originally mentioned?
Genesis 5:22
And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
Genesis 5:27
And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.
It
is OK. Now it is the task of the SWAT teams to locate Hitler and bring him to a decent laboratory, where his DNA will be sliced, his vitreous fluid examined for arcane drugs, his organs visualized with MRI and his
whole metabolism studied. The cure for old age will be found and given to
President Trump. It's a win-win situation. If
Jesus decides to do the obvious and return by the end of the month,
the Donald will still be Raptured and can enter
Heaven. If
Jesus continues to keep us waiting,
our President can continue saving souls well into next century. The constitutional crises that this may cause is peanuts to a physically immortal being.
A warning. There are
fake news claiming that Hitler would be
dead!
Quote:
...a study of the Fuhrer’s purported teeth in the Russian State Archive found them to be an exact match, confirming that Hitler did indeed die in his bunker, likely by taking cyanide and shooting himself in the head.
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This is the
ultimate proof! By denying the Truth™ the atheist scientists confirm our hypothesis.
Because they don't accept that Hitler's alive it is certain that he is. And he can be used.
Praise God!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer