The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
Unsaved trash, suspected foreign queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 19
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: sucking Lucifer's tallywhacker
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I am very new -
03-27-2014, 05:43 PM
Dear people,
I guess I got off to somewhat of a wrong start here, this is all new for me.
I am a ex-athiest currently in a process of conversion. I live in Holland, so even though I might be trying my best, you will find some spelling and grammar mistakes here and there. I am stuck with a lot of questions unanswered. I haven't found a church where a I live that feels comfortable. By far my favourite verse is Isaiah 40:26
Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing.
How did I find Jesus? Well, he isn't that hard to find when you are drowning in great dispair.
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Unsaved trash, suspected foreign queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 19
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: sucking Lucifer's tallywhacker
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Re: I am very new -
03-27-2014, 05:49 PM
As I have discovered. This forum isn't for people in a young stage of figuring out this religion. I think I will visit other places first before coming here to ask my questions. As I understand it, this is not a place to covert. My apologies for any inconveniece and maybe I will return once I am wiser.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: I am very new -
03-27-2014, 05:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrancisJohnson
Dear people,
I guess I got off to somewhat of a wrong start here
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I'll say. You came in here and poured out post after post arguing with the Truth of the LORD as revealed in His Holy Bible as if you have some inside information to which the Creator of the Universe is woefully ignorant. But we here at Landover Baptist have a heart for ministry, and if that means forgiving the proud and condescending, then forgive we will!
I'm sorry to hear you have been abandoned in that terrible place of sin and debauchery. Yet the LORD tells us if no one were alive on earth to praise His Name, the very stones themselves would cry out (Luke 19:40)! Perhaps you're that stone in your own godless land!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, suspected foreign queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 19
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: sucking Lucifer's tallywhacker
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Re: I am very new -
03-27-2014, 05:55 PM
I appreciate your kind words. I did never mean to argue with the truth. My apologies if I did.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: I am very new -
03-27-2014, 05:56 PM
Welcome Mrs. Johnson. I assume you have a husband and generated many fine sons for Him.
All you need to do is spread wide and accept Gods offer of Love. As a homemaker, keep your pie hot and ready.
Remember God is always right and any thought you have is probably wrong. Follow what God commands in the Bible, do not let 'feelings' ever get in the way.
Lastly, if God wants your opinion, He will tell it to you.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: I am very new -
03-27-2014, 06:34 PM
A warm welcome to you. I had seen some rather strange posts from you elsewhere on the forums and feared that you were just here to cause disruption. I am delighted to find that in this case I was mistaken.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrancisJohnson
By far my favourite verse is Isaiah 40:26
Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing.
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That is a very beautiful verse, but please note that we use only the King James Version here, in which it reads:
Lift up your eyes on high,
And behold who hath created these things, That bringeth out their host by number:
He calleth them all by names
By the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power;
Not one faileth.
I am sure you will agree that this is even more beautiful.
I look forward to getting to know you better.
YiC
AW
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 533
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Love Child of Pastor Osborne
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Re: I am very new -
03-28-2014, 12:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrancisJohnson
How did I find Jesus? Well, he isn't that hard to find when you are drowning in great dispair.
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Hello Francis,
I couldn't agree more. I was trapped in Amsterdam once on a business trip. Two giants- a Russian and an African poisoned me with coffee cake and chased me into a waste water treatment facility. You call them canals.
Thank goodness I lost them in pack of drunk Englishqueers. I heard a lot of yelling and scuffling but I was afraid to look back and see who was actually getting sodomized during the chaos.
Genesis 19
26 But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.
Reflecting back, I know why Jesus calls it AmsterDAM.
Stay strong,
Fred
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: I am very new -
03-28-2014, 12:28 AM
I agree with the general opinion that the Lord obviously hates Hollanders and is only waiting until it pleases Him to break down their dikes and destroy that tribe with a great flood.
All the Dutch Christians moved to America a long time ago. That is why they are so hard to find there now. There are hardly more Christians there than the handful who go there boldly as missionaries. As an aside, the missionary position is very dangerous in Holland, as there are many perverts who seek to root out and destroy any Christians who appear.
I believe that the young Francis who comes before us should move away from Holland before it's too late.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: I am very new -
03-28-2014, 12:55 AM
Dag, Francis.
Welcome to our friendly forums. I assume you are unmarried and male. I am unmarried and female. Do you wish to find the true gift of God, his salvation through the shed blood of our LORD JESUS? If so, you've come to the right place because we are the only ones that know the truth. Why is that, you may ask?
Well, some time ago, the LORD was surfing the Interwebs, and He noticed our site. JESUS immediately joined, and He personally oversees everything that is posted here. At Christmas, Jesus visits us to remind us that Christmas is about Him and His need for new shoes. It is for that reason that we tithe without thinking of how much it is - since nothing is too good for God.
We are certain that you'll find answers to life's questions here. Of course, we will also ask you some questions. I hope you'll get right to mine since the LORD will either bring us together or shatter our ties. I leave you in His hands. May the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob envelop you in His arms, providing you with the peace that only comes through knowledge and worship of our divine creator. Glory!
In JESUS name,
Naomi Ruth Lamb
Possibly God's most perfect Female Person.
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
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Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
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