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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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The EMO Cure! -
10-23-2008, 02:38 PM
Only the Lord knows why we haven't discovered this cure for Emoism sooner!
1. Cut off the electrical cord from an old toaster, lamp, or other gizmo.
2. Separate the two wires and strip off a few inches of insulation.
3. Tape one wire to your Left wrist and one to your Right wrist.
4. Plug it in!
PS Remember to write your pathetic, self absorbed suicide note!
PS PS Be kind and put some plastic on the floor to contain your mess!
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Mother of 20
True Christian™
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Posts: 384
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa.
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
10-23-2008, 06:18 PM
Getting electrified for Jesus!  
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,335
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Doing God's Work in Europistan
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
10-23-2008, 06:24 PM
I think the razor-blade companies should make their blades sharper. Market them as 'Emo Blades'.... that way most of these freaks would get it right first time. Glory!
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Unsaved Trash, Known anime fag
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Posts: 31
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: With him.
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
10-23-2008, 09:19 PM
The cure for Emo is Caramelldansen, people! It's cute, it makes people smile and it picks you up when you're down. CARAMELLDANSEN!
You have your thoughts, I have mine. I'm not gonna halt my life just because some old book of quotes preaches about the Land of Neverending Lighters!
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On Parole
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 752
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The United States
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
10-23-2008, 09:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Percy
I think the razor-blade companies should make their blades sharper. Market them as 'Emo Blades'.... that way most of these freaks would get it right first time. Glory! |
The Lord knows that with specially made blades marketed specifically to emo kids, they'd make a killing in a only a few days. Literally! 
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 46
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
10-24-2008, 11:27 PM
The True Emo Christians would kill themselves in a True Christian method like self crucification.
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On Parole
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 752
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The United States
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
10-24-2008, 11:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrayerIsFun
The True Emo Christians
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There's no such thing.
Quote:
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would kill themselves in a True Christian method like self crucification.
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(1) Suicide is a mortal sin and will get you damned to Hell for eternity.
(2) The term is crucifixion. You're not American are you?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
10-24-2008, 11:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrayerIsFun
The True Emo Christians would kill themselves in a True Christian method like self crucification.
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I don't know what that comment is supposed to mean, but I find it offensive. If you are here to mock Jesus Christ's temporary sacrifice on the cross at Calvary, then you'd better read THIS thread first.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 33
Join Date: Jan 2009
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-04-2009, 08:20 PM
So is it or is it not a sin to be emo? What about dressing like an emo or listening to their music?
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-04-2009, 08:23 PM
This should work fine. It comes pre-marked with your unholy intentions:
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-04-2009, 08:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by potophan94
So is it or is it not a sin to be emo? What about dressing like an emo or listening to their music?
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How about cracking open a Bible for once? Try it and look up "strange apparel".
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Unable to quite get it right
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Posts: 65
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: on my knees
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-05-2009, 09:00 PM
screw being an emo christian i am a emo wiccan and i haven't killed myself yet. 
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-05-2009, 09:01 PM
I'll be holding my breath.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 33
Join Date: Jan 2009
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-06-2009, 08:57 PM
I've tried to kill myself, but my parents stopped me.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-06-2009, 09:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by potophan
I've tried to kill myself, but my parents stopped me.
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What'd you try to do.....OD on ice cream? Are there any tall bridges near you?
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Honorary True Christian™
Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-07-2009, 05:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by potophan
I've tried to kill myself, but my parents stopped me.
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Don't worry, I'm sure Jesus can forgive their error.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 33
Join Date: Jan 2009
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-11-2009, 04:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Don't worry, I'm sure Jesus can forgive their error.
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You're going to Hell, JennyD. And pastor pistle, I tried to drown myself, thank you very much!
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Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,146
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Freehold, IA.
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-11-2009, 04:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by potophan
You're going to Hell, JennyD. And pastor pistle, I tried to drown myself, thank you very much!
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Under a running faucet or the bathtub ?
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-11-2009, 05:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by potophan
You're going to Hell, JennyD. And pastor pistle, I tried to drown myself, thank you very much!
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So you are a total failure then?
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: The EMO Cure! -
01-11-2009, 05:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by potophan
You're going to Hell, JennyD. And pastor pistle, I tried to drown myself, thank you very much!
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For a modest fee, one of our Pastors will come and help.
You could get Baptized, drowned and Saved all at the same time
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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