Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!) |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Your Guilty Pleasure? -
10-04-2014, 08:53 AM
Mine: STRYPER
These ladies really know how to rock it for Christ! I know they should be at home tending to their husbands' every desire, and wearing modest dresses made of sack cloth instead of scandalous spandex unitards, but I can't help but Praise The Lord for these precious little song birds!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 728
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Manalapan, FL
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
10-04-2014, 12:22 PM
Hello Witch Hammer.
My guilty pleasure is I like to eat sardines straight out of the tin with my fingers when I am reading my Bible but sometimes the soybean oil gets on the pages and then my Post-It Notes fall off and then I can not find my favorite Bible verses also my Bible does not smell very nice.
Pastor Ezekiel said Boy I will personally have my assistant send you a water-proof and stain-proof and oil-resistant Bible when your updated Last Will and Testament is forwarded to me I am not his son I am much older his boots are made of dolphin skin.
Thank you.
Rusty
Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
10-04-2014, 06:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russell Holbeck
Hello Witch Hammer.
My guilty pleasure is I like to eat sardines straight out of the tin with my fingers when I am reading my Bible but sometimes the soybean oil gets on the pages and then my Post-It Notes fall off and then I can not find my favorite Bible verses also my Bible does not smell very nice.
Pastor Ezekiel said Boy I will personally have my assistant send you a water-proof and stain-proof and oil-resistant Bible when your updated Last Will and Testament is forwarded to me I am not his son I am much older his boots are made of dolphin skin.
Thank you.
Rusty
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Hey Rusty, you should try gefilte fish. Not from a can, though - they're nasty. They will not turn you into a Jew so don't worry. Maybe you can have the lady that cleans your house go to the store and get you some. Does she like sardines, too? I am going to send you a box of post-it notes and five tins of sardines. Enjoy, my friend.
COME Lord Jesus!
BrotherLarry
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
10-05-2014, 04:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
I am going to send you a box of post-it notes and five tins of sardines. Enjoy, my friend.
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At first, I've read "five tons of sardines," and I was overjoyed with your Christian love, Brother Larry. Five tins is still a nice gesture (small gesture, but a nice gesture), I'm sure Brother Rusty will appreciate it.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Chicago
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-20-2014, 05:32 AM
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-20-2014, 07:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Preacher1
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What are you saying?!? Yap, yap, yap! Aren't you against marriage and ugh! You utterly Jesus-rejecting, fake Christians just baffle me with your logic, or lack of it, and it's clear that if you were filled with the Lord, you'd be an intelligent poster on these forums.
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-20-2014, 03:39 PM
My guilty pleasure? Snacks!
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-20-2014, 11:03 PM
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-21-2014, 06:20 AM
I have many Bibles, KJV obviously. I must confess that I sometimes read this edition that has pink covers...
Psalms 44:15 My confusion is continually before me, and the shame of my face hath covered me.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 34
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Charleston, South Carolina
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-22-2014, 12:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
Mine: STRYPER
These ladies really know how to rock it for Christ! I know they should be at home tending to their husbands' every desire, and wearing modest dresses made of sack cloth instead of scandalous spandex unitards, but I can't help but Praise The Lord for these precious little song birds!
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You know, I have to say, even I find those girls pretty cute. I think my therapy is beginning to pay dividends! Maybe there's hope for me yet!
If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. – John 8:36
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Unsaved trash, suspected fag
Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 75
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: spitting in Christ's loving face
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-22-2014, 09:54 PM
My guilty pleasure.
Since masturbation is a the hot spot, i'd say masturbation to women beauty is my guilty pleasure, i know it's so gross to masturbate to females but i just can't help it, i am just a man afterall right?
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-22-2014, 10:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BecauseIPolack
My guilty pleasure.
Since masturbation is a the hot spot, i'd say masturbation to women beauty is my guilty pleasure, i know it's so gross to masturbate to females but i just can't help it, i am just a man afterall right?
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You're not a man, you're a homosexual. Just because it's your own ding-dong you're playing with doesn't make it any less queer.
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Unsaved trash, suspected fag
Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 75
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: spitting in Christ's loving face
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-22-2014, 11:27 PM
Ye, i am man while having a relationship with a male, that's so true man, i understand you're jealous because you are still a young boy but there will be time you will become a full time man who is gonna know the taste of a man.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-22-2014, 11:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BecauseIPolack
Ye, i am man while having a relationship with a male, that's so true man, i understand you're jealous because you are still a young boy but there will be time you will become a full time man who is gonna know the taste of a man.
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Your curses won't work on a True Christian™ man, dear. He's protected by the Sweet Blood of Christ. You might think of it like being wrapped in Spiritual Bubble Wrap, protected against any bump, or grind, or curse.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-23-2014, 04:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BecauseIPolack
...but there will be time you will become a full time man who is gonna know the taste of a man.
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Hey, clueless, look at the medals beside Mr. Smyth's avatar.
They don't give this out to just anyone.
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Unsaved trash, suspected fag
Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 75
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: spitting in Christ's loving face
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-23-2014, 04:35 AM
Excuse me, that man over there was a former gay? Maybe i am mistaken? Oh well i guess we got a problem over here .
Haha funny thing actually that explains that sudden "you are homosexual " outburst, guilt is a killer, i got called a homo by someone who slurped at men's butts, nice.
Ah, just before i forget to type it down, please i don't wish to hear that you don't want that ding dong anymore, because we both know you simply can't change your brain fuctioning.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-23-2014, 05:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BecauseIPolack
because we both know you simply can't change your brain fuctioning.
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You couldn't be more wrong. You see, I am four fifths through a PHD in Ethical Christian Psychology, and I studied these things called paraphilias.
In layman terms, a paraphilia is a sexual perversion. Various fetishes are paraphilias, and it includes such abnormal insults to God as wearing latex, beastiality, and homerism.
These paraphilias can be acquired through repetitive behavior in association with sexual stimulus. A person can literally make oneself (or someone else) pick up a paraphilia by doing it repeatedly. In essence then, homersexuality is an acquired perversion, just as we knew all along.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Unsaved trash, suspected fag
Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 75
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: spitting in Christ's loving face
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-23-2014, 05:28 AM
That's interesting, i am guessing you are very smart person.
But if we follow such logic, that means either Smyths friends or he himself repeatedly tried the ding dong thing?
See, fetishes are small details, we all have them but the thing is sexual orientation is the main thing, it's the bigger picture. Paraphilias doesn't cause homosexuality, it's just some weird-ass fetishes people have.
We should ask Smyth about that factor actually, at what age he felt sexually attracted by men, he will for sure say: since he remembers, he was born that way.
Follow sience. This is one of the basic videos ever, watch this:
***removed video link containing unnatural pornography***
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-23-2014, 10:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BecauseIPolack
That's interesting, i am guessing you are very smart person.
But if we follow such logic, that means either Smyths friends or he himself repeatedly tried the ding dong thing?
See, fetishes are small details, we all have them but the thing is sexual orientation is the main thing, it's the bigger picture. Paraphilias doesn't cause homosexuality, it's just some weird-ass fetishes people have.
We should ask Smyth about that factor actually, at what age he felt sexually attracted by men, he will for sure say: since he remembers, he was born that way.
Follow sience. This is one of the basic videos ever, watch this:
***removed video link containing unnatural pornography***
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Why, you sound like the most intelligent man on the planet! Let's all bow down and worship his weiner, for he is the greatest thing ever! (said no one ever!)
You sound like a hell-bound sinner! But look, not all is lost, for our dear sweet Jesus is willing to take in even people like you, and make them as spotless and godly as myself and even more godly than me, my master, head of house, and husband!
Also, please be careful with your language, young man! There are children on these forums, trying to learn more about the good Lord, and you are spouting off your garbage and foul language. If you were my son, I'd wash your mouth with the strongest soap and bleach possible, and then I'd give you to my strong capable husband to teach you a lesson, that I as a feeble woman, cannot give! He'd be able to beat/pray the gay out of you, for he is a pastor, and we can do all things through Christ. Philippians 4:13
If you think homosexuality is good, it leads to hell. Heaven is just so much better, I mean I just can't wait to be sitting at the Lord's feet, listening to Him. He is such a kind master. Matthew 11:28
I'm praying for your poor tortured soul! Repent and come to Jesus! He will forgive you if you truly repent and will teach you how to obey and come with Him to Heaven!
Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 60
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
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Re: Your Guilty Pleasure? -
11-25-2014, 04:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
Mine: STRYPER
These ladies really know how to rock it for Christ! I know they should be at home tending to their husbands' every desire, and wearing modest dresses made of sack cloth instead of scandalous spandex unitards, but I can't help but Praise The Lord for these precious little song birds!
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Wow, I've never met anyone who's as big of a Stryper fan as I am. Pleasure to meet you, Witch Hammer.
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