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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
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Location: God's Own America
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-12-2008, 03:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handofgod
Yeah, I hear it's quite warm in that place called "hell". And it's full of games, like mario galaxy, millions off huge plasma tv's with wii's, ps3's, xbox's 360's, and all the movies ever made like harry potter and lord of ther ings, but also all the movies that don't whorship the lord or jesus. Like momento, fight club or donnie darko. And it's full of books too! And all the people who don't believe in christ, that's probably all off your friends. And there will be chinese, black people, dutch people, english people, allmost everybody from europe, asia and africa. So you will meet plato, einstein, freud, and all those crackheads! There will probably be all the food ever eaten by a non-chirstian so beware! And dont' forget all that noisy music they will play! So yeah, enjoy it!
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EXACTLY what we've been trying to warn people about.
I'm glad someone here is taking note.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-12-2008, 04:03 PM
Thanks sister. It's feels like I have been seeing the warm spirit of jesus christ lately! Sometimes the demon in my keyboard sprouts out some develish nonsens, but it's getting better.
When our enemies strike us, we must not retaliate; we must even turn the other cheek. And we must forigve -- not seven times, but seventy times seven.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
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Location: God's Own America
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-12-2008, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handofgod
Thanks sister. It's feels like I have been seeing the warm spirit of jesus christ lately! Sometimes the demon in my keyboard sprouts out some develish nonsens, but it's getting better.
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Well Sister HOG, feeling Jesus' warmth inside you is one of the best feelings in the World.
Get a Pastor to say a few Prayers for you or better still, make a Loving Donation and he may pay you a special "Keyboard Ministering" visit.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Posts: 76
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-12-2008, 04:14 PM
I have just donated 5000$ to jesus favorite church! It's all I could spare, I still have to pay for food and a roof above my head, jesus doesn't let 'm drop out of the sky!
Praise jesus and let this donation open my heart for god!
When our enemies strike us, we must not retaliate; we must even turn the other cheek. And we must forigve -- not seven times, but seventy times seven.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
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Location: God's Own America
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-12-2008, 04:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handofgod
I have just donated 5000$ to jesus favorite church! It's all I could spare, I still have to pay for food and a roof above my head, jesus doesn't let 'm drop out of the sky!
Praise jesus and let this donation open my heart for god!
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GLORY!!!
Just one thing..................... Please in future be sure to CAPITALIZE the Name of JESUS.
Failing to do this makes Baby Jesus cry.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-13-2008, 01:41 AM
I have just donated $20,000 in the name of racial purity. You people can have my socks though. I'm sure you'll like them... They only smell on a full moon so you should be safe. They might keep your head warm in the winter months.
Wait, god has instructed me to give you my first borns fingers. Parcel post ok for you?
Forgivness is only for those that deserve it.
Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Exodus 32:14 Then the Lord relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-17-2008, 02:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by makament
Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
Assholes.
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AMEN!!! hahahahahaha oh that just made my day
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-17-2008, 03:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hockeyfan87
AMEN!!! hahahahahaha oh that just made my day
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You seem to be easily amused. Ever tried Google? Oh, only 12.000 hits.
Anyway, you seem to be heading straight to hell.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-17-2008, 07:05 PM
LMAO!
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Unsaved Trash Known liar, Chronic masterbator
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-18-2008, 08:12 AM
Haha! I like number 3 the best! It's funny because it correlates nonsense (tounges) with logic (the common subjects of science) by inferring that fundamental christians will only selectively accept evidence that they desire, even if the evidence they accept is nonsense compared to the logical evidence of sciences.
I would like you to meet my imaginary friend, God.
"...as Christians we deal with the truth, just because something is written down in a book doesn't mean it happened." - Bobby-Joe
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Christ's Love Messenger
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-18-2008, 11:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LingBling
Haha! I like number 3 the best! Oh wow, look at me, I'm so smart making fun of Baby Jesus. I really can't wait until satan jams his four foot penis in my bunghole...
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Quote:
...even if the evidence they accept is nonsense compared to the logical evidence of sciences.
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Here's some logical evidence of science for you; they said it was perfectly safe to use...
http://www.websters-online-dictionar...alidomide.html
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Unsaved Trash Known liar, Chronic masterbator
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-18-2008, 06:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Here's some logical evidence of science for you; they said it was perfectly safe to use...
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It appears they were mistaken. But when that drug was tested on mice, there were no side effects. The logic in this incident is that the drug was taken off the shelves, not that the drug was produced.
I would like you to meet my imaginary friend, God.
"...as Christians we deal with the truth, just because something is written down in a book doesn't mean it happened." - Bobby-Joe
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Christ's Love Messenger
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-18-2008, 09:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LingBling
The logic in this incident is that the drug was taken off the shelves, not that the drug was produced.
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So you admit scientists are illogical?
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Apple Sucker
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Location: Stay me with flagons, yea, comfort me with apples!
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-19-2008, 06:03 PM
Can you tell me some more about that...whatever you just said...
Quote:
Originally Posted by HolierThanThou
Easy. God slipped his glowing rod of power into Mary and inseminated her with his mighty seed. And then he made her whole again to cover up the tracks of an amber alert.
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Unsaved Trash Known liar, Chronic masterbator
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-20-2008, 01:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
So you admit scientists are illogical?
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I admit that you are so closed-minded that you can't comprehend the mistake that the scientists made.
If scientists were illogical, all innovatioins and inventions that you are so accustomed to in this modern world, wouldn't be possible.
I would like you to meet my imaginary friend, God.
"...as Christians we deal with the truth, just because something is written down in a book doesn't mean it happened." - Bobby-Joe
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-21-2008, 07:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LingBling
If scientists were illogical, all innovatioins and inventions that you are so accustomed to in this modern world, wouldn't be possible.
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What do you think about scientists who say pesticides and chemicals in our food is bad; but also what do you think about scientists who tell us pesticides and chemicals in our food is harmless?
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-21-2008, 08:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LingBling
If scientists were illogical, all innovatioins and inventions that you are so accustomed to in this modern world, wouldn't be possible.
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Nonsense. Jesus is the source of all technology. Scientists blindly stumble along in their naturalist delusions while Jesus inspires the newest invention when He needs to.
I suppose you also believe in "electricity" and it's myth of electrons skipping from atom to atom like little girls?
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Unsaved Trash Known liar, Chronic masterbator
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-21-2008, 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Nonsense. Jesus is the source of all technology. Scientists blindly stumble along in their naturalist delusions while Jesus inspires the newest invention when He needs to.
I suppose you also believe in "electricity" and it's myth of electrons skipping from atom to atom like little girls?
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Yes. That was a very good analogy.
I would like you to meet my imaginary friend, God.
"...as Christians we deal with the truth, just because something is written down in a book doesn't mean it happened." - Bobby-Joe
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Unsaved Trash Known liar, Chronic masterbator
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-21-2008, 11:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
What do you think about scientists who say pesticides and chemicals in our food is bad; but also what do you think about scientists who tell us pesticides and chemicals in our food is harmless?
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Some are harmless. Things that kill bugs don't always kill humans. Some are harmful, and those are the ones that need to be further tested.
I would like you to meet my imaginary friend, God.
"...as Christians we deal with the truth, just because something is written down in a book doesn't mean it happened." - Bobby-Joe
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Jesus lovers this is for you! :) -
02-21-2008, 11:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LingBling
Yes. That was a very good analogy.
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That's ridiculous, you really expect me to believe that invisible little particles that nobody can see cause the lights to work? No, as a Christian I demand something better.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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