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Default Praise story! - 09-09-2009, 12:05 AM

Hello friends. As most of you know I was once a pornstar but now I am a True Christian™. My past life is full of disgusting stories of sexual perversion and immorality. But I gave my life to Jesus and today I live a rich and fulfilling life with my devoted wife Olga, who I tragically struck blind with an errant cumshot. My story is like that of most, if not all Born Again Christians: I was lost, I did some drugs, I had sex with a lot of women, then I had sex with a lot of men, then I did it with some children, then I did it with some animals, then I went back to women for a little bit but also did it with animals on the side, then I did it with men and some children, then I got a bunch of irreversible STDs and can no longer get an erection so I decided to give my life to Christ since I can't bone women or men or children or animals anymore. I always take interest in stories like mine, and have worked tirelessly these last two years helping to bring lost people to Christ. Today I was filled with joy as I found out that a couple of degenerates that I met a few years ago have found Christ and have been drenched in the blood of the Lord! Below is the story of how I know these people, it is a bit graphic, so I suggest that women and children to not read it.

It was the day after Thanksgiving, 2006. I was in a dive bar in Tucson, can't remember what time it was, but it was dark outside. On the television above me was a Colorado Buffaloes game. There were a few assorted degenerates and charlatans roaming around this dank room but I paid them no mind. This is Tucson, Arizona, the place where the lost and the damned congregate in a hellish rondolet. Behind me the door to the bar swung open and a figure, shrouded by darkness walked in. I didn't turn my head. The person sat down across the bar and ordered a drink, the sound of her voice resonated in the air for a few seconds, hanging there with the cheap cigarette smoke and jukebox music. I looked up momentarily from my glass to see a so-so looking woman eying me from across the bar. I'd give her like a 5 1/2 out of 10. She noticed my gaze and called out to me but I didn't respond. She scooted down several chairs to get closer to me and continued bothering me. I just kept staring into the glass.

When I finished she offered to buy me another drink but I declined. Women like this are trouble. I didn't want to get mixed up with another dame like her. There isn't enough cocaine on this planet to make her do-able, I thought to myself. Unfortunately, I would come to discover, there is an amount of cocaine on this planet that would convince me to do her, and it was a surprisingly small amount.

She moved over another seat, now only one stool separated her and I. I hope one of these Hell's Angels comes over and sits between us, I thought to myself.

She tried making more small talk with me, talking about her husband and her kids, I knew the story; bored wife, stuck at home all day with the kids, looking to get out and do something crazy. I wrote and starred in 15 porno movies about that very plot. But she kept at it. There were 10 other guys in there with bad standards that would have mounted her on the bar in front of God and the rest of the drunkards, why was she only hounding me?

She moves over another seat, now she's right next to me. She whispers something in my ear but I'm only half-listening. "Do you like to party?" She pulls a little bag out of her purse, my eyes widen. There's only a few things in this world that really catch my attention, and one of those things happens to be in that little bag. I would recognize the contents of that bag in a white-out snowstorm from 500 yards away. She licks my face. I really wish she hadn't done that.

I don't remember what happened immediately after that but suddenly I'm in the back of a car. She's in the back with me and her husband seems to be driving, turns out he was in the bar the entire time. She's taking off my shirt but I'm really only thinking about the coke in the bag. I go along with it.

The car pulls up outside of a seedy motel, The Lazy Eye Motel. The sign outside has a pink neon eye with the cornea off-center, every few seconds it blinks. Our room is situated right by the sign and even with the curtains drawn the room still fills with pink light every other second. She enters the room, followed by me, followed by the husband. He closes the door and the stands in front of it with a big smile on his face. There are two beds in the room, one is made and vacant, the other has at least five children in it. This doesn't bother me because I've both done it in front of, and with children before. Stupid husband nudges me: "Are you in the pictures?" he asks. I'm not sure what he means. He leans in with a big grin on his stupid face: "Dirty movies." He winks at me like we're both in the know and operating on the same wavelength or something. I tell him that I'm in porn and he tells me that he recognized me back in the bar. He likes my work. He tells me about his wife, he doesn't know how to pleasure her anymore, they go from bar to bar in the seediest parts of America looking for men that can quench her sexual appetite. When he saw me, a famous male pornstar, he knew he needed to bring me back here to give his wife some hot dickings.

While I've been talking with the husband, the wife has been getting undressed and is now completely naked on the bed. She calls out to me and I turn around. Holy shit. What have I gotten myself into? Her vagina, or what was left of it, was like a cave in the side of a mountain, all agape. The husband nudges me on the shoulder "sometimes I stick my entire head in there." I'm too shocked to say anything. "Get over here and spelunk my cave!" she shouts at me, she then picks up a flashlight and shines it in there, it's pretty deep. I'm having second thoughts now. "You'd better do what she says" the husband tells me. Noticing my reluctance to get undressed the wife grabs the bag of cocaine and empties it into her gaping vagina. "Come and get it!"

I comply and several minutes later I'm trying to figure out how to have intercourse with this person. I'm a well-endowed man but this is like throwing a hot dog through a hula-hoop. I can't generate any kind of friction what so ever. The husband's laughing at me. "That shit's been done, man. It's wrecked. Try the ass." Her ass isn't much better, but it's only as wide as two or three fists so I figure I have a better shot at it. I go to work, in my cocaine-induced stupor, but nothing's really happening. The children are now awake and laughing at my incompetence. "That's not how you do it!" the littlest one shouts. The wife yawns. "I grow weary of this, pleasure me!" she shouts. I study the situation. I've never experienced anything like this. I look back at the husband and shrug. He gives me a warm smile and offers to help.

Pretty soon the husband is naked and we're both going at her, but not even two men can begin to fill this hole. We begin shoving fists in there but it's still very roomy. Soon one of the sons joins in, then one of the daughters shoves a foot in there.

I black out.

When I come to The husband, one of the sons and myself are all having sex with the wife while a daughter shoves her leg in. The youngest son has his head in her vagina, the husband and I are both fisting her and someone has jammed the television remote control and most of the bedside lamp in there as well. There's also the fat end of a Jack Daniels bottle rammed up her ass. At one point one of her ovaries pops out and we take a quick pee break while she puts it back in. Then we reassemble and start going at it again. Meanwhile the remaining three or so children are having sex with each other on the bed.

But the wife was still bored.

"Cease this foolishness" she calls out, and slowly we all removed our appendages and body parts and heads and small electronics from her vagina. The husband began weeping in the corner and the children got back in their bed. "You've tried your hardest, but obviously no man can ever satisfy me, you may help yourself to the cocaine mountain now." I look at the floor between the beds and notice a massive pile of cocaine about three and a half feet tall, how did I not see that before? I leap onto the pile and begin sucking as much up my nose as I can. I momentarily look up at the ceiling and notice the wife now has a big burlap sack in her hands. The bag is jerking around and moving like something is in it. I sit up, covered in cocaine, and crawl back onto the bed to watch.

The wife reaches in to the bag, struggles momentarily, and pulls a full-grown badger out. The badger claws at her arms, cutting them deep. Blood sprays all over the bed. The woman fights with the badger for several moments until she finally has it in the proper position. She spreads her legs wide and shoves the badger head-first into her vagina. She lets go and the badger, terrified, angry, and possibly high on cocaine, goes into a fit of rage. It began clawing and shredding the inside of her vagina. The wife, covered in deep wounds and spewing blood all over the bed cried in agonizing pleasure. Blood drained from her vagina like a river and eventually the badger backed it's way out all the way. She then kicked it off the bed and it landed somewhere near the children.

She fell back into the mattress, drenched in blood, her loins looked like the mangled carcass of a zebra after a herd of lions had dismembered it, a pack of hyenas had scavenged it, and several vultures had picked it of its remains. She breathed deeply, like she had just run a marathon, she had apparently climaxed five or six times.

I wanted more cocaine but the badger was under one of the beds and I was afraid to get off the bed.

Eventually we caught the badger and ate it for a late dinner.

The next morning I woke up before anyone else, got dressed and snuck out of the room before dawn. What horrible people, I was glad to be out of their presence. I caught a ride out of Tucson and never went back.

Soon after I found Jesus, quit the porn business and turned my life around completely. No more promiscuous sex, no more drugs, no more anything!

I few months ago I was watching the television when I saw the husband, talking about this or that. I recognized him instantly as the man from the motel. I looked him up and sure enough it was the same man, still married to the same woman. They apparently also found Jesus and started a church! The man and woman that I had sex with in a motel room in Tucson, Arizona, was Steve and Zsuzsanna Anderson! That's right, the woman whose vagina was as big as a two car garage and used a badger to get off is the wife of Steve Anderson, a pastor in Phoenix, Arizona.
I would like to take a few moments of your time to praise God that Pastor Steve Anderson and his wife Zsuzsanna, as well as their children, have found the path to God. Again, I would like to praise God for helping Steve Anderson, the man who sodomized me while I had sex with and fisted his wife, Zsuzsanna Anderson of Phoenix, Arizona's, asshole. Before I thought these people were incredibly sleazy degenerates, but now that I know that they are a Godly Christian family I feel that it is ok that Pastor Steve Anderson's wife, Zsuzsanna Anderson of Phoenix, Arizona, had sexual intercourse with her 5 year old son while her husband and a complete stranger had sex with and fisted her, since they have repented and have sought forgiveness.


This is pastor Steve Anderson of Phoenix, Arizona. His wife, Zsuzsanna Anderson, has a massive vagina that is really wide because she has had so many children. In the past, pastor Steve Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church would stick his entire head into his wife's vagina in order to pleasure her. He would also pick up strange men in dive bars and bring them to a motel room to have sex with her while he watched and joined in. Pastor Steve Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Phoenix, Arizona, is a Christian now, and I doubt he does stuff like that anymore, so let's not look down on him.


This is Zsuzsanna Anderson, wife of pastor Steve Anderson of Phoenix, Arizona. She used to only be able to reach orgasm by shoving badgers into her vagina, but now she is a Christian and doesn't do that anymore.

Here is a link to Zsuzsanna's personal blog. http://stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/ It is mostly about Christianity and stuff like that. If you are looking for a blog about her crazy sexual habits, like how she has sex with her children and shoves badgers up her vagina you are out of luck because she is a Christian now and hasn't done stuff like that in almost a year and a half, you sick bastards!

Last edited by Wash O'Hanley; 09-09-2009 at 12:59 AM. Reason: spelling error
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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-09-2009, 12:20 AM

What a truly horrible, yet poignant story, Brother Rick. Have you thought about getting your memoirs published? You are a shining example of redemption through Jesus Christ. The...things...you've done in the past, yet to know that is all behind you and you will join the rest of our True Christian™ family here at Landover Baptist Church at the right hand of Jesus after we all die. That goes to Pastor Steve and his lovely wife as well. To turn around from such a debauched life that would make the Marquis d'Sade a little bit queasy...

Reading your story stirred up some long forgotten memories that I've rather remained buried. I do not want to go into detail about some of the sordid deeds I've done over the years, but let's just say the swinging and cocaine brought back more than one flashback.

Let's just say I've been in the back seat of my limo, cruising down the Strip in Vegas, and done a line or two off the naked breast of a buxom Spanish guitar-playing singer who repeatedly guest starred on the Love Boat.

Boy, am I glad I do not do terrible sins like that anymore and instead devote my Saturday nights to Bible study and prayer.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-09-2009, 02:58 AM

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Originally Posted by Rick 'Magma' Bocchino View Post
This is Tucson, Arizona, the place where the lost and the damned congregate in a hellish rondolet.
Tell me about it, brother. What a harrowing experiences you must have had. Having wanton sex all the time and doing mounds and mounds of satan's powder.

I'm sure you're much happier in Christ now!


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-09-2009, 03:27 AM

Brother Rick, I wonder if I couldn't get you to stop by my Young Men's Prayer Circle some Friday night and share this testimony with the young Bible studs that crave Christ's love so much. I know that they would revel in hearing your stories of depravity and lust, and how Blessed we all are that we have left that life behind.

Bring the video of Zsuzsanna along with you too. That's the kind of thing that should be shared with all Christendom.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-09-2009, 06:55 AM

That's all well and good, Era of Truth, but what does any of that have to do with the fact that Pastor Steve Anderson and his wife Zsuzsanna of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Phoenix, Arizona pick up strange men from dive bars, consume mass amounts of cocaine with them and then have debauched sex which includes fisting, sodomy, incest and bestiality?


My story is like that of most, if not all Born Again Christians: I was lost, I did some drugs, I had sex with a lot of women, then I had sex with a lot of men, then I did it with some children, then I did it with some animals, then I went back to women for a little bit but also did it with animals on the side, then I did it with men and some children, then I got a bunch of irreversible STDs and can no longer get an erection so I decided to give my life to Christ since I can't bone women or men or children or animals anymore. Read my testimony here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=21140
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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-09-2009, 07:34 AM

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Originally Posted by Rick 'Magma' Bocchino View Post
That's all well and good, Era of Truth, but what does any of that have to do with the fact that Pastor Steve Anderson and his wife Zsuzsanna of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Phoenix, Arizona pick up strange men from dive bars, consume mass amounts of cocaine with them and then have debauched sex which includes fisting, sodomy, incest and bestiality?
The Lord works in mysterious ways, brother, although I'm a little surprised you didn't mention the water sports and piss play that Steve Anderson and his wife Zsuzanna enjoyed during that period of their lives. Still, if all of that is what it takes to bring someone to the Lord and to then compel them to pray for a President's death, who are we to argue with God?


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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-10-2009, 01:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Rick 'Magma' Bocchino View Post
That's all well and good, Era of Truth, but what does any of that have to do with the fact that Pastor Steve Anderson and his wife Zsuzsanna of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Phoenix, Arizona pick up strange men from dive bars, consume mass amounts of cocaine with them and then have debauched sex which includes fisting, sodomy, incest and bestiality?
Godly testimony Brother Magma. Truly shows the Lord can save anyone. To think that some as depraved as Pastor Steve Anderson and his Zuzsanna were such sinner and now so close to the Lord want one to shoot GLORY!



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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-10-2009, 03:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick 'Magma' Bocchino View Post
That's all well and good, Era of Truth, but what does any of that have to do with the fact that Pastor Steve Anderson and his wife Zsuzsanna of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Phoenix, Arizona pick up strange men from dive bars, consume mass amounts of cocaine with them and then have debauched sex which includes fisting, sodomy, incest and bestiality?
Shout Glory! In your kindness you neglected to mention the pedophilia! But you see, this bestial and vile pair have found Jesus and are now as pure as the driven snow! Thank you Jesus (I don't mean that in a Pentecostal way).

In Christ,
Warren
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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-10-2009, 07:42 PM

This is disgusting. How can it possibly be true? Pastor Anderson is a man of God!

I think you're making this up because Pastor Anderson is truly Saved© and you're just jealous of his Salvation!


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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-10-2009, 07:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
This is disgusting. How can it possibly be true? Pastor Anderson is a man of God!

I think you're making this up because Pastor Anderson is truly Saved© and you're just jealous of his Salvation!
Sister,

I think you are missing the divine revelation of this tale; were have this utterly depraved sinner who is called out of his depravity, washed clean by The Lord and is now the leading voice Christianity in the land.

And here is the power of Jesus here Sister; when Pastor Steve was forgiven it means all this badger sex never happened! GLORY!



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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-10-2009, 07:57 PM

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Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
This is disgusting. How can it possibly be true? Pastor Anderson is a man of God!

I think you're making this up because Pastor Anderson is truly Saved© and you're just jealous of his Salvation!
Maybe he means Pamela Anderson? I think she did movies with Mr. Magma before. On a honeymoon boat or something like that.


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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-12-2009, 06:20 AM

From Phoenix? Oh my God! Nah, couldn't be the same pair. Could it? What are the odds? Is this the same "Right Reverend" Steve Anderson and his wife Zsuzsanna from Phoenix with a Winnebago motor home who did novelty tattoos "with a happy ending"?
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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-12-2009, 06:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Goldman View Post
Maybe he means Pamela Anderson? I think she did movies with Mr. Magma before. On a honeymoon boat or something like that.
Pamela Anderson did movies with Mr. Magoo?

I can't decide whether to or or


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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-12-2009, 06:42 AM

I have enjoyed Rick 'Magma' Bocchino's work throughout the years. In the 1980's everytime I was in a hotel with a young woman, I would flip on the pay-per-view channel and one of Rick's movies would be on and we would watch it together. Sometimes during the height of passion she would call out Rick's name instead of mine. Didn't really bother me though. I was still gettin' some.

Some of my favorites that Rick starred in were "Three's Cumpany", "Star Whores" , "Indi-anal Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ass", "E.T: The Extra-Testicle" , and "Field of Wet Dreams".


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The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.
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Default Re: Praise story! - 09-24-2009, 05:08 AM

Brothers and Sisters, is it possible Pastor Steve Anderson and Zuzsanna are backsliding?

Look at these injuries.



Could they possibly be consistent with an animal attack? Say a badger?


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Praise story! - 10-05-2009, 09:17 AM

UPDATE: Zsuzsanna Anderson makes the startling discover that women who use birth control tend to not get pregnant and have babies. More details as this story unfolds.

Quote:
I wasn't trying to be smart or anything, but it occurred to me that the majority of ladies working in that bank, trying to raise awareness of breast cancer, were themselves most likely using some sort of hormonal birth control. These greatly increase the likelihood of breast cancer because they not only expose the body to dangerous levels of artificial hormones, but also reduce the amount of children women will bear and nurse.
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Default Re: Praise story! - 10-05-2009, 11:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley View Post
UPDATE: Zsuzsanna Anderson makes the startling discover that women who use birth control tend to not get pregnant and have babies. More details as this story unfolds.
She's smart, for a female.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Praise story! - 10-05-2009, 02:48 PM

Do we have any way in to her private, "invitation-only" blog? Is anyone working on that?
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Default Re: Praise story! - 11-02-2009, 04:45 PM

Rick, I'm curious what other famous people you've encountered!

Not for titillation purposes, of course, but rather to provide fodder for my sermons on how the mighty so often fall.


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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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