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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-24-2011, 02:18 PM
I don't much care for Pat Robertson's "charismatic" theology, which I feel is just Pentacostalism in disguise, but I will grant him this: Being a Southern Baptist, as opposed to a real Baptist, has given him a keen understanding of black people and their whimsical culture.
For example, Robertson recently opened my eyes to a most unusual food choice which is apparently quite popular with the blacks:
Macaroni & Cheese: A Black Thing
Quote:
TV preacher Pat Robertson, who once ran for president and had the support of millions of Americans, set the record straight on macaroni and cheese today while hosting yet another episode of The 700 Club.
It’s “a black thing” and he’s never tasted it, he said.
The informative exchange came after Robertson showed a clip of former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice saying she enjoyed the gooey delicacy, but only during Thanksgiving, which is almost as unbelievable a statement.
The news shocked the 81-year-old evangelist.
“What is this mac & cheese? Is it a black thing?”
African-American 700 Club co-host Kristi Watts said yes, and that everyone else in the world needed to get on board and start eating more macaroni and cheese.
The show was not, to my knowledge, sponsored by Kraft.
Robertson is no stranger to controversy.
* In September, he said it is OK to divorce someone with Alzheimer’s because it’s a “kind of death.”
* In 2010, Robertson blamed a devastating earthquake in Haiti on that island nation’s alleged “pact to the devil.”
* In 2005, he seemed to suggest Hurricane Katrina may have been God’s punishment for America’s abortion policy.
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I can't pretend to understand what this weird "macaroni and cheese" thing is all about, but I really must commend Robertson for going out of his way to understand black people and share their odd customs with his audience.
Blacks may be a different race and all, but they are commanded to obey God's laws and worship Him just as surely as we are:
Quote:
Ephesians 4:2-5
2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;
3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
4 There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling;
5 One Lord, one faith, one baptism,
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With his depth of insight into colored culture, Robertson is in a prime spot to lead droves of those little buggers to the Lord. Why don't we all say a little prayer that Pat will forget this charismatic foolishness so his negroidal knowledge won't be wasted?
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-24-2011, 09:52 PM
You see, friend, back in the days before food stamps -- which enable poor people to use our tax dollars to buy soda pop, potato chips, and Twinkies instead of food -- poor people instead were given surplus foods, like cheese and pasta.
Negroes, being creative in their cookery despite the limited ingredients, tried combining the macaroni elbows and the cheese in many ways.
A few efforts that did not succeed:
The macaroni cheese sandwich, which put a handful of dry macaroni between two slices of cheese. This dish was first tested in the 1920s. Tasters determined it was too crunchy, and fell apart too easily.
The macaroni cheese log, which involved cutting a log of cheese and rolling it in crushed macaroni. Great Depression-era tasters found this also to be too crunchy, though a distinct improvement on the sandwich. However, the cutting of the rectangular cheese block into logs resulted in cheese waste.
The cold macaroni-cheese salad, the first macaroni-cheese dish to use cooked pasta, combined the cooked and cooled pasta with diced cheese. This advance came in the early years of WWII. While tasters enjoyed it when fresh, they found that the pasta would stick into a lump, making leftovers unpalatable.
One enterprising Negress, attempting to stretch her free-on-the-backs-of-the-taxpayers food budget, tried reheating cold macaroni-cheese salad back in the 1950s. The cheese melted, and a tasty treat was born.
From then on, Negroes everywhere combined macaroni with cheese and baked it, until the day came that powdered cheese-flavored food product was available combined in a box with dry pasta. Purchasable, of course, with food stamps.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-25-2011, 03:07 AM
I was not aware that Negroes had knowledge of fire, except for the Egyptian Negroes. This is all news to me.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-25-2011, 03:29 AM
As this image from the Rodney King riots will demonstrate, they've known about fire since at least 1992.
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In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-25-2011, 05:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
As this image from the Rodney King riots will demonstrate, they've known about fire since at least 1992.
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Undoubtedly an accidental discovery when one of them tossed his reefer near an open bottle of malt liquor.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-25-2011, 06:36 AM
Macaroni?
Sounds like eye-talian mormon food.
YiC,
Zech
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-25-2011, 06:37 AM
I know I heard that one of them discovered peanut butter by trying to use a peanut as a phonograph needle.
Can you imagine?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-26-2011, 12:54 AM
To anyone who might have misread this title at first, I would just like to stress that Brother Pat definitely does not have a bizarre habit of eating negroes. He just doesn't, OK? We all clear on that? Good.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-26-2011, 01:12 AM
Why eat something that is stuffed with chicken? It just doesn't make sense.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-26-2011, 01:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Why eat something that is stuffed with chicken? It just doesn't make sense.
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Have you never heard of the Turducken, Brother?
Widow Helen makes it every Thanksgiving. It's a turkey, stuffed with a duck, that was stuffed with a chicken.
You can even buy them online.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-26-2011, 01:27 AM
Say what you will about Pat, he has traveled the world many times. He has said this gave him a knowledge of world cultures that is both broad and deep.
Only someone with him knowledge and background would know to ask an intelligent question like, "Is Mac and Cheese a black thing?"
We can all learn about world cultures from Pat.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: Pat Robertson reveals bizarre eating habits of negroes -
11-26-2011, 01:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Why eat something that is stuffed with chicken? It just doesn't make sense.
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Brother Cranky, having just realized the horror with which you wrote this post and finally understanding what you meant, I would like to add to my previous comment that like you, I have never desired, fantasized about, or otherwise considered being "entered" by a Negro through the mouth or any other potential route, in my entire life!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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