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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 12:50 AM

Following this Forum's rules, I humbly come to present myself to this Holy congregation... feel free to ask what you want, my favorite verse from the Bible is Judges 3: 29 "And they slew of Moab at that time about ten thousand men, all lusty, and all men of valour; and there escaped not a man."
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 12:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ammiel Habacuc View Post
Following this Forum's rules, I humbly come to present myself to this Holy congregation... feel free to ask what you want, my favorite verse from the Bible is Judges 3: 29 "And they slew of Moab at that time about ten thousand men, all lusty, and all men of valour; and there escaped not a man."
Welcome, tell us about yourself. Are you a Muslim terrorist? Do you attend a Church? What do you think of our next President John McCain?


Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 12:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ammiel Habacuc View Post
Following this Forum's rules, I humbly come to present myself to this Holy congregation... feel free to ask what you want, my favorite verse from the Bible is Judges 3: 29 "And they slew of Moab at that time about ten thousand men, all lusty, and all men of valour; and there escaped not a man."
Would you mind telling us something about yourself? What sort of foreigner are you? I can't even tell if you're a Man or a woman from that gobbledygook name of yours. How old are you? And so on.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 01:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebenezer Wright View Post
Welcome, tell us about yourself. Are you a Muslim terrorist? Do you attend a Church? What do you think of our next President John McCain?
I was magnificently home-schooled in Iowa, but am leaving in godless Colorado right now, I attend a Baptist Church here, though, would like to see all Muslim terrorists annihilated, and am campaigning for next president McCain as we speak, you should see the picture of Gobernor, soon-to-be VP Palin I have in the rear window of my car...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Would you mind telling us something about yourself? What sort of foreigner are you? I can't even tell if you're a Man or a woman from that gobbledygook name of yours. How old are you? And so on.
Why, I am no foreigner, I chose my name from two great characters from the Bible, I'm surprised you don't know them, Pastor Ezekiel. Ammiel was one of the twelve spies sent by Moses into Canaan, and Habacuc is one of the prophets of the Old Testament, with its own book, that I have just realized I wrote with the wrong spelling, it should be Habakkuk, could you change i for me, by any chance? I am a proper, normal, white male, 27, dedicated to praise the Lord, and spread His Word...
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 04:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ammiel Habacuc View Post
my favorite verse from the Bible is Judges 3: 29 "And they slew of Moab at that time about ten thousand men, all lusty, and all men of valour; and there escaped not a man."
Good old Ehud. Now there's a good role model, not like the tattooed gang-banging baby-daddy sports "heroes" we have today.

I like the part right before that.

Judg 3:16 But Ehud made him a dagger which had two edges, of a cubit length; and he did gird it under his raiment upon his right thigh.
Judg 3:17 And he brought the present unto Eglon king of Moab: and Eglon was a very fat man.

How fat WAS he?

Judg 3:20 And Ehud came unto him; and he was sitting in a summer parlour, which he had for himself alone. And Ehud said, I have a message from God unto thee. And he arose out of his seat.
Judg 3:21 And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly:
Judg 3:22 And the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out.

He was SO fat, that Ehud was able to stick a 1 1/2 foot dagger all the way into his belly and could not get it back out.

Shout GLORY!

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 04:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ammiel Habacuc View Post
I was magnificently home-schooled in Iowa, but am leaving in godless Colorado right now, I attend a Baptist Church here, though, would like to see all Muslim terrorists annihilated, and am campaigning for next president McCain as we speak, you should see the picture of Gobernor, soon-to-be VP Palin I have in the rear window of my car...

Why, I am no foreigner, I chose my name from two great characters from the Bible, I'm surprised you don't know them, Pastor Ezekiel. Ammiel was one of the twelve spies sent by Moses into Canaan, and Habacuc is one of the prophets of the Old Testament, with its own book, that I have just realized I wrote with the wrong spelling, it should be Habakkuk, could you change i for me, by any chance? I am a proper, normal, white male, 27, dedicated to praise the Lord, and spread His Word...
Your name notwithstanding, you talk and spell like a foreigner. Your DOF file should be in soon, so we'll know the truth then.

In the mean time, please take a look around our Godly forum and see what we're about. I'll be praying for your ability to use God's favorite language (American) more better.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 05:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Your name notwithstanding, you talk and spell like a foreigner. Your DOF file should be in soon, so we'll know the truth then.

In the mean time, please take a look around our Godly forum and see what we're about. I'll be praying for your ability to use God's favorite language (American) more better.
Why, I had never been accused of something more horrifying than being a foreigner, I ain't no darn messican! I am a tax-paying, baseball-following, negro-rebuking American, and proud of it! I don't know where you get such things, Pastor, it must be some sort of terrible sin in my heart, that is showing in my spelling. I'll pray to GOD for forgiveness now...
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 05:56 PM

Tell me what you want. Kamiel Hakkabuc sounds foreign to me.




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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 06:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Juliette View Post
Tell me what you want. Kamiel Hakkabuc sounds foreign to me.
Numbers 13:1 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 2Send thou men, that they may search the land of Canaan, which I give unto the children of Israel: of every tribe of their fathers shall ye send a man, every one a ruler among them.
3And Moses by the commandment of the LORD sent them from the wilderness of Paran: all those men were heads of the children of Israel. And these were their names:...



12 Of the tribe of Dan, Ammiel the son of Gemalli."



And Habakkuk is a whole book, and in my humble opinion there is nothing more American than the King James Bible, but I will forgive you, for you are a woman, and therefore weak and easily deluded by the Enemy of Souls. Now, go make our husband a sandwich.
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 06:05 PM

Your husband, of course, my keyboard got stuck.
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 06:08 PM

I have some questions for you, Annabell:

  1. Can you gut a deer?
  2. Do you keep your lawn trimmed?
  3. Do you help your neighbors?
  4. Who cooks your dinner?
I'll be awaiting your answers.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 06:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I have some questions for you, Annabell:
Name's Ammiel, don't make me sound like a gosh-darned queer, Brother...
Quote:

  1. Can you gut a deer?
  1. Why, of course I can. A little piece of advise: Never cut a deer's throat after you've shot it, it won't do no good, 'cause the heart is not pumping anymore. It is always better to use a sharp knife in the process, less useless cuts. Here's a picture of my favorite deer-gutting knife, the old Grohmann-Russell:

  1. Quote:
    Do you keep your lawn trimmed?
    I spend thousands of dollars each year to keep it nice and green. GOD bless those fertilizers...
  2. Quote:
    Do you help your neighbors?
    I help my white, straight neighbors in all they need, and I help my non-white, non-straight neighbors by preaching the Good Word to them, and telling them how they'll go to Hell if they don't change their ways.
  3. Quote:
    Who cooks your dinner?
    We have three maids, but that doesn't excuse my wife from making me dinner at least once a week, so she can fulfill her obligations as my wife.
Quote:
I'll be awaiting your answers.
There you have 'em, praise Jesus.
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 06:22 PM

Sorry about the Annabell, comment, that was supposed to be a joke. You clearly are a God-fearing man.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 09:22 PM

What do you read apart from your KJV-bible Hakkabuck? And what church do you attend? Didn't see you answer that question.

And being a good Christian as you claim to be, why didn't you start hitting the paypal button at the bottom of ths page?




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SayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-19-2008, 09:29 PM

Welcome, your name sounds like someone vomiting.




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Ammiel Habakuk Ammiel Habakuk is offline
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-20-2008, 01:10 AM

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Originally Posted by Juliette View Post
What do you read apart from your KJV-bible Hakkabuck?
There are very few other books worth reading, but it i very difficult to resist the urge to read such great pieces as Faith of My Fathers, Why Courage Matters, and Worth the Fighting For: Th Education of an American MAverixk, all by our next president.
Quote:
And what church do you attend? Didn't see you answer that question.
I've had some trouble finding a decent church here in Colorado, but I attend the First Southern Baptist Church of Colorado Springs. I do find their so-called " music ministry" a bit too liebral for my taste.

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And being a good Christian as you claim to be, why didn't you start hitting the paypal button at the bottom of ths page?
Sure will, very soon, I just have had som e trouble since my credit cards are being re-issued from gold to platinum, but as soon as they're ready, I'll tithe, praise the LORD.

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Welcome, your name sounds like someone vomiting.
I know you're a True Christian, but I find that comment disrespectful, directed towards names present in the Holy Bible, mister.
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-20-2008, 02:15 AM

Ammiel Habacuc - those are joo names. Are you a joo?

Brothers and sisters - keep your eyes on the collection plate when Brother Ammiel is in town.
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-20-2008, 02:18 AM

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Originally Posted by Billybob Sunday View Post
Ammiel Habacuc - those are joo names. Are you a joo?

Brothers and sisters - keep your eyes on the collection plate when Brother Ammiel is in town.
I'm no joo, I just chose names from the Good Book, back when God cared about them, but I ain't no Baby Jesus killer!
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-20-2008, 03:40 AM

Ammeil in Hebrew means God's is my Kinsman and Habacuc means embrace. I am not sure what to make of that. Sounds homerish to me.



Jesus loves Dick



Cheney/Palin 2012
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Default Re: Hello, Landover - 10-20-2008, 03:50 AM

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Originally Posted by TC Patriot View Post
Ammeil in Hebrew means God's is my Kinsman and Habacuc means embrace. I am not sure what to make of that. Sounds homerish to me.
The only reference to homerism in the Holy Bible is the instruction for us good Christians to rebuke that abomination. My name comes from the Bible, therefore is pure, dear Patriot, but I can understand your confusion, you never know nowadays with all those gosh-awful queers running astray all over the place. Thang GOD Sen. McCAin and Governor Palin will make sure those guys get back where they belong, in hiding from GOD's Wrath. I will have to punch the next guy that tries to call me a fag in the face, though, I ain't no fag! You can ask my wife.


Job 40:15-18 Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.
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