Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-02-2008, 11:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Iron Crotch
He isn't weak. The way I see it, we both eat, therefore we should both cook. We both walk on the floors, therefore we should both clean them. We both use the bushes to deficate and the lake to bathe, therefore we should both plant vegetables over our toilet spots. We rocks!
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They way you see it? Oh, so you're just that generous. My advice to you would be to see to it that he does all the work. You don't want him ever stepping out of line. You are the man of the house after all.
I'd bet money that he squats down to take a piss behind those bushes. And I'd doubt I'd lose if I put my money on the fact that you stand up when you urinate.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 674
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NAU
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-03-2008, 12:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
They way you see it? Oh, so you're just that generous. My advice to you would be to see to it that he does all the work. You don't want him ever stepping out of line. You are the man of the house after all.
I'd bet money that he squats down to take a piss behind those bushes. And I'd doubt I'd lose if I put my money on the fact that you stand up when you urinate.
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Gambling is a sin,Remy.
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-03-2008, 12:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
Gambling is a sin,Remy.
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Where is the gamble? It's a sure thing.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-03-2008, 03:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
Gambling is a sin,Remy.
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Quote the scripture that backs up your claim, boy.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-03-2008, 01:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
They way you see it? Oh, so you're just that generous. My advice to you would be to see to it that he does all the work. You don't want him ever stepping out of line. You are the man of the house after all.
I'd bet money that he squats down to take a piss behind those bushes. And I'd doubt I'd lose if I put my money on the fact that you stand up when you urinate.
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I am not a man
It doesn't matter if he sits down to pee. I sit down to pee as well so we both are EQUAL. We share the work so we both share the load. That's the way I like it and wouldn't have it any other way. Equality rocks!
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Location: Where Jesus Wants Me
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-04-2008, 04:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Iron Crotch
It doesn't matter if he sits down to pee.
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Disgusting! And he calls himself a man?
Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!
Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-04-2008, 07:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebenezer Wright
Disgusting! And he calls himself a man?
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We believe in EQUALITY!!! He pees all over his testicles if he stands up so he has to sit down when he goes behind the bushes. There is nothing wrong with having a small penis. He is very much a real man and he loves me dearly. Old Perv Hatchet just said that it's the testicles that matter and not the penis size. You wouldn't want to contradict another TC would you?
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
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Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-04-2008, 08:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
Gambling is a sin,Remy.
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So is being neegroe. Read about the Curse of Ham in your King James Version, 1611, Holy Bible.
Brother Remy is an honorary White Man now, but just look at.....you!!!
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Mother of 20
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Posts: 384
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Location: Freehold, Iowa.
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-04-2008, 11:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Iron Crotch
I am not a man
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Are you sure, Crotchface? Because you force your husband to cater to your every whim, like making you dinner and ironing your clothes. No wonder he is such a limp-handed sissy. Give me a True Christian™ like my Bill, he knows what a hand is for! It is for doing his Manly work, reading his Bible, and spanking his wife and kids! Your excuse for a husband merely flits around waving a teatowel. Absolutely shocking.
Well, God will judge you Crotchface. He made a place for women, and that is under men! By trying to usurp authority, you are weaving your own handbasket to hell!
Read these passages and THINK FOR YOURSELF! Why can't you sickulars do that?
Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
1st Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
1st Timothy 2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
1st Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
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Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
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Posts: 3,146
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Freehold, IA.
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-04-2008, 11:47 PM
Sigh... Crotch why do you continue to persecute your poor husband. Just because all True Christian™ Men are all hung to their knees is not an excuse to vent your frustration.
Perhaps if you were able to realize your true place as God has commanded instead of chaining his sorry ass in the bedroom you be able to realize that miracles indeed do happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Iron Crotch
We believe in EQUALITY!!! He pees all over his testicles if he stands up so he has to sit down when he goes behind the bushes. There is nothing wrong with having a small penis. He is very much a real man and he loves me dearly. Old Perv Hatchet just said that it's the testicles that matter and not the penis size. You wouldn't want to contradict another TC would you?
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Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Posts: 137
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-19-2008, 07:46 AM
I had a score of 47 on the test, not so bad actually
I'm average
Revelation 20:14-15
And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.
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WARNING: Canuckistani feminazi! Approach with caution!
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Posts: 174
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-19-2008, 07:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Libra
I had a score of 47 on the test, not so bad actually
I'm average
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Oh Libra. I've read your posts and I worry about you. Please don't let Christianity drag you down. I won't try to convince you that God doesn't exist, but you have worth as a woman. Whether you believe in God or not is irrelevant, just know that the Bible was written by men securing male power. If God is real, he wouldn't have given us intelligence and free will only to make us subordinate to men! Don't let anyone EVER tell you that you are worth less for being a woman or that your only reason to exist is to be some guy's housekeeper and baby oven!
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God Squad
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Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-19-2008, 07:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
Oh Libra. I've read your posts and I worry about you. Please don't let Christianity drag you down. I won't try to convince you that God doesn't exist, but you have worth as a woman. Whether you believe in God or not is irrelevant, just know that the Bible was written by men securing male power. If God is real, he wouldn't have given us intelligence and free will only to make us subordinate to men! Don't let anyone EVER tell you that you are worth less for being a woman or that your only reason to exist is to be some guy's housekeeper and baby oven!
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A woman is worth 50 sheckels, what's the going rate for a man?
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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WARNING: Canuckistani feminazi! Approach with caution!
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-19-2008, 08:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield
A woman is worth 50 sheckels, what's the going rate for a man?
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Based on the men I've known? A buck fifty, and that's being generous.
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Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,146
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Freehold, IA.
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-19-2008, 08:29 PM
Since you are obviously a street prostitute that makes sense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
Based on the men I've known? A buck fifty, and that's being generous.
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Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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WARNING: Canuckistani feminazi! Approach with caution!
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Posts: 174
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-20-2008, 05:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord
Since you are obviously a street prostitute that makes sense.
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Well I never!!!
Not for a buck fifty anyway.
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Posts: 79
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Location: not near enough to Freehold (yet)
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-20-2008, 05:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
Well I never!!!
Not for a buck fifty anyway.
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I'm sure you're happy giving it away for free.
Job 40:15-18 Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-20-2008, 06:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
Well I never!!!
Not for a buck fifty anyway.
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Well, at least we have established your principles, now it's only a matter of establishing your price.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-20-2008, 10:47 AM
LOL, I'm not going to say what I got. But, my other half hasn't kicked me out yet, so I can't be all that bad. Bwahahaha, things sure were different back then...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Libra
I had a score of 47 on the test, not so bad actually
I'm average
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I agree with Callisto. You seem like a nice enough person, why let a set of outdated beliefs tell you what you can and can't be? Only you can decide what you can and can't be, and a woman is in no way inferior to a man.
Yes, I know what the land-ovarians are going to say to that. I'll probably get called a man hating feminazi something or other, but the point is, that to live your life based on standards like this test, or like the bible, is not really living your life.
The bible (well, the various bits and pieces of it) was written a long time ago by barbaric tribes who believed that it was ok to stone a child who wet the bed (I think that's somewhere in there). Is that really the kind of guidebook by which you'd want to live your life?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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True Christian™
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Posts: 703
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: On the barricades for Jesus.
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Re: True Christian™ Advice for Marital Bliss -
10-20-2008, 11:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
LOL, I'm not going to say what I got. But, my other half hasn't kicked me out yet, so I can't be all that bad. Bwahahaha, things sure were different back then...
I agree with Callisto. You seem like a nice enough person, why let a set of outdated beliefs tell you what you can and can't be? Only you can decide what you can and can't be, and a woman is in no way inferior to a man.
Yes, I know what the land-ovarians are going to say to that. I'll probably get called a man hating feminazi something or other, but the point is, that to live your life based on standards like this test, or like the bible, is not really living your life.
The bible (well, the various bits and pieces of it) was written a long time ago by barbaric tribes who believed that it was ok to stone a child who wet the bed (I think that's somewhere in there). Is that really the kind of guidebook by which you'd want to live your life?
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Don't listen to those heathens Libra.
It is your duty to serve your man, please him and be his baby oven.
It's all there in the Godly KJV bible you just discovered.
Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
And even if he disciplines you know and then, that isn't so bad when you truly love him.
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