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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-28-2014, 03:46 AM

Thank you Pastor Zeke. On behalf of my dear, dear brother Jim, I would like to sincerely apologize for his inappropriate posts.


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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-28-2014, 03:46 AM

Thank you Pastor Zeke! My air-headed lady brain was getting overloaded by this very graphic conversation about certain male issues!

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-28-2014, 03:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
Thank you Pastor Zeke! My air-headed lady brain was getting overloaded by this very graphic conversation about certain male issues!

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
Unfortunately Brother Machine can't confine his lewdness to himself and his poor lady in his dungeon. Is it any wonder that his signature contains warnings!


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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-28-2014, 03:55 AM

Oh my goodness!


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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-28-2014, 03:56 AM

Mr. Farmer, maybe could you move this forum to the men's section, thus, as you pointed out, Mr. Faith Machine's "lewdness" is out of the delicate ladies' sight? My husband said that he really doesn't want to have to give me a slap over the head if I faint or vomit all over the table because of this forum...

Meekly and feeling rather ill,
Elizabeth


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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-28-2014, 04:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
Mr. Farmer, maybe could you move this forum to the men's section, thus, as you pointed out, Mr. Faith Machine's "lewdness" is out of the delicate ladies' sight? My husband said that he really doesn't want to have to give me a slap over the head if I faint or vomit all over the table because of this forum...

Meekly and feeling rather ill,
Elizabeth
I have now done so, Mrs Elizabeth. I will pray your husband sees fit not to slap you over the head, regardless.


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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-28-2014, 04:13 AM

Bless your heart, Mr. Farmer! Praise the Lord for His goodness and Him placing you here as a gentleman of the Lord to spare the womenfolk from lewd thoughts. My husband is a good man, and will slap me, or not, depending on what he thinks is best. Aren't I blessed to have married such a godly leader?

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth


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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-28-2014, 04:33 AM

With luck, Mrs Johnson, it will have provided your husband with ideas, so that you will no longer have to endure impregnations - it will make the lives of both of you so much easier. I have sent you a PM which should illustrate to your husband how it must feel for you. I would have posted it here, but the language is a little too strong for ladies.


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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-28-2014, 07:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Biblical reference?
Doing it with your own hand is HOMER SEX!!!
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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-29-2014, 04:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho View Post
Doing it with your own hand is HOMER SEX!!!
Yes, but let me pose this rhetorical question:

Would it be any less gay if an electronic milking machine was employed...


...provided the controls were manipulated by one's own wife?


Please don't answer...satan doesn't need any more grist thrown into his mill.
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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-29-2014, 05:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Yes, but let me pose this rhetorical question:

Would it be any less gay if an electronic milking machine was employed...

.
Then there's a machine designed in slant land just for the purpose:



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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-29-2014, 09:14 PM

Even in a (horrifying) thread about female genitals, you guys can't go two pages without talking about touching your penises.
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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-29-2014, 09:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Then there's a machine designed in slant land just for the purpose:

It looked like there was teeth in that hole!!!
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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-29-2014, 10:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon View Post
It looked like there was teeth in that hole!!!
Now that you mention vagina dentata, I'm surprised there's nothing in the KJV about it. Seems it would fit perfectly.


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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-29-2014, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto View Post
Even in a (horrifying) thread about female genitals, you guys can't go two pages without talking about touching your penises.
Why would you post such a homosexual thing on this Godly Forum? Are you gay?


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Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-29-2014, 10:44 PM

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Originally Posted by BaptistBethany View Post
Are you gay?
Oh Frigga no!

Why limit myself to just women when I can choose between women and men?
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-30-2014, 03:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto View Post
Oh Frigga no!

Why limit myself to just women when I can choose between women and men?
So you admit to being a degenerate. Nice. Do you know that Jesus is watching you much rugs and commit perversions?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Jim Farmer's Avatar
Jim Farmer Jim Farmer is offline
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Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-30-2014, 04:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto View Post
Oh Frigga no!

Why limit myself to just women when I can choose between women and men?
It's very rare that I make this offer, young lady. I am inviting you to stay with me, my wife and (girl) child for 6 months. We will show you what it means to be a True Christian™ and the rewards that come with accepting Jesus Christ deep inside you. We will charge you nothing for this once in a lifetime opportunity, and ask only only that you help my wife with household chores as she approaches the birth of our son. What say you? Will you accept?


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Callisto's Avatar
Callisto Callisto is offline
WARNING: Canuckistani feminazi! Approach with caution!
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Callisto is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Callisto is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Callisto is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Callisto is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-30-2014, 03:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
So you admit to being a degenerate. Nice. Do you know that Jesus is watching you much rugs and commit perversions?
I always figured he's a voyeur.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
It's very rare that I make this offer, young lady. I am inviting you to stay with me, my wife and (girl) child for 6 months. We will show you what it means to be a True Christian™ and the rewards that come with accepting Jesus Christ deep inside you. We will charge you nothing for this once in a lifetime opportunity, and ask only only that you help my wife with household chores as she approaches the birth of our son. What say you? Will you accept?
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson's Avatar
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! - 12-30-2014, 05:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto View Post
I always figured he's a voyeur.


You are a very rude young lady. If I had my way, you would receive a mouthwash of bleach and then a spanking done my husband. You were extremely rude to Brother Farmer...how could you? "To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men." Titus 3:2 "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and [be] ready always to [give] an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" 1 Peter 3:15


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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