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Default Help Me Understand the Purchase Application - 01-21-2014, 12:38 AM

Marla Jennings, True Christian ™ Realtor, is on vacation and I received the following letter from the Property Manager at Leviticus Landings:

"Dear Miss Lamb:

We are in receipt of your application to purchase a condo at Leviticus Landings for your parents. The Board has a few concerns:

1. One or more of your parents is reported to have early onset dementia. We consider this tantamount to demon possession.
2. Special consideration for approval of this purchase has not yet been given by the senior pastors of Landover Baptist Church.

No one is allowed to reside in Freehold's gated community if they have the smallest speck of sin stains. We need to be assured that a senior pastor has declared both of your parents to be free of sin. We therefore recommend the Buyer's Exorcism and Soul Cleansing package as an addendum to your sales contract. Not only will this speed your purchase, but it will give you peace of mind in knowing that your loved ones will enter heaven's gates after they enter ours..."

Is there an extra charge for this package? Can one of the senior pastors see that I get a package in my hands soon? Is there a safe community outside of Freehold where my parents could live comfortably? Will they be relegated to the bleacher seats for Sunday Services, or can I get passes for the Holy of Holy Inner Sanctuary for them? So many details, so much red tape.

Yours in Him,
NRL


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