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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
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Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-17-2014, 07:11 AM
It is extremely rare that the Africans ever get anything right, but I sincerely hope you ladies who are married will take the following information to heart:
Dry sex: Women at pains to please
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A dry vagina is seen as a disaster for sex in the West. Yet elsewhere, women will run serious health risks to avoid getting wet, says Dutch expert Tinde van Andel. ‘Dry sex’ feels best, they claim – for the man at least
To keep the vagina dry, women insert herbs, absorbent materials like paper, chemical cleaning agents, antiseptic or even toothpaste. A dry vagina is supposed to feel better for the man during intercourse. Men say they like the friction, heat and swollen tightness.
But ‘dry sex’ also carries serious health risks, Dr van Andel warns...
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I didn't bother to quote the whole thing, because that blather about health risks kind of bored me, to be quite honest, but the important takeaway here is that you don't ever want your husband to have the disconcerting experience of plunging his thingee into a sopping wet ladyplace, because if you're wet down there, that's a strong indication that you are a whore and have been sleeping around:
Quote:
So what’s in it for women? Apart from the increased risk of infection, mostly just discomfort and pain during sex, says Dr Van Andel.
They keep doing it because they think that otherwise their man will look for another girlfriend, she says. And both men and women often see vaginal discharge as being unhealthy and a sign that a woman has been sleeping around.
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So please, ladies, read the entire article and educate yourselves on how to keep your private parts pleasingly dry, especially during procreation.
Jesus wants to see between your legs a lot more of this...
And not so much of this!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-17-2014, 07:31 AM
Brother,
I must say that I am impressed! Could this be the way to make the most disgusting and uncomfortable act of procreation at least tolerable?! This could be a life-changing revelation for me personally.
Regarding your pictures, they are more than appropriate:
Job 24:5
Behold, as wild asses in the desert, go they forth to their work; rising betimes for a prey: the wilderness yieldeth food for them and for their children.
In am deeply grateful and I'll pray on this.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-17-2014, 07:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
So please, ladies, read the entire article and educate yourselves on how to keep your private parts pleasingly dry, especially during procreation.
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There's a pornographic picture in that article. I'm not sure any lady should be reading it!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-17-2014, 08:14 AM
Who says suction pumps have no place in the bedroom?
What's good for the pork trap is good for the cooter, amen?
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-17-2014, 08:22 AM
I am proud to say that my wife has always been extremely dry. I am also certain that she never enjoyed sex, ever. Just as God intended it!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-17-2014, 08:36 AM
...also, packing the offending netherpart with a dessicant such as silica beads, sawdust or kitty litter might be an option for those who prefer home remedies over high priced medical equipment...
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-17-2014, 07:18 PM
They get wet? You guys are pulling my leg again. This isn't a very good True Christian™ joke, fella's.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-18-2014, 12:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser
They get wet? You guys are pulling my leg again. This isn't a very good True Christian™ joke, fella's.
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The sickly ones do. Imagine a runny nose, only between the legs. I've always prescribed a mixture of talc and powdered alum to prevent the noxious discharge.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-18-2014, 12:54 AM
How disconcerting too! My husband and I were protesting abortions at the nearest Planned Parenthood and many of the women were dripping down and their clothes indicated them sleeping around! Never will you catch me in such an ungodly position since I won't be there. Sex for a lady is never pleasant, or pretty, just the way God intended.
Unsaved trash: If you are going to spout your garbage that sex should feel good because Cosmopolitan said that, and a bunch of women's magazines and some sickular doctors said that, shut your trap. We've already heard it. You don't need to repeat it. God gave you two ears, two eyes, and one mouth. Listen and read the KJV Bible, and stop spouting off your garbage.
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 267
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: True Southern Belle in Richmond, VA
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-18-2014, 03:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
How disconcerting too! My husband and I were protesting abortions at the nearest Planned Parenthood and many of the women were dripping down and their clothes indicated them sleeping around! Never will you catch me in such an ungodly position since I won't be there. Sex for a lady is never pleasant, or pretty, just the way God intended.
Unsaved trash: If you are going to spout your garbage that sex should feel good because Cosmopolitan said that, and a bunch of women's magazines and some sickular doctors said that, shut your trap. We've already heard it. You don't need to repeat it. God gave you two ears, two eyes, and one mouth. Listen and read the KJV Bible, and stop spouting off your garbage.
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Dear Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson, I agree with you wholeheartedly! Whenever my husband and I engage in the sexual act (for procreation purposes only), I close my eyes and think of America - just like all good Christians American women should do.
Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-18-2014, 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaptistBethany
Dear Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson, I agree with you wholeheartedly! Whenever my husband and I engage in the sexual act (for procreation purposes only), I close my eyes and think of America - just like all good Christians American women should do.
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I also like to think of Jesus and that if I bear a son and raise him to be a soldier in the Lord's army, I will be assured a place in heaven. But it was an unpleasant act, I was just married, so I was obviously a virgin, and the deflowering was painful, just as the Lord intended.
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-18-2014, 07:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
I also like to think of Jesus and that if I bear a son and raise him to be a soldier in the Lord's army, I will be assured a place in heaven. But it was an unpleasant act, I was just married, so I was obviously a virgin, and the deflowering was painful, just as the Lord intended.
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Amen sister! And may all your birthings be dry and excruciatingly painful as well!Genesis 3:16
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-18-2014, 03:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
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At least she didn't shave.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
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Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-19-2014, 01:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
Amen sister! And may all your birthings be dry and excruciatingly painful as well!Genesis 3:16
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After all, what's a little pain compared to a heaven with the Lord? "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;" 2 Corinthians 4:17
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Helping boys become upright model citizens
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,293
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-19-2014, 11:05 AM
Due to the fact that I am not married, I have never had sexual congress with a woman. But I can imagine how icky it would be if she were juicy enough to splash.
Question though: The gaysexuals have dry anal sodomy sex. If the woman's cooter is as dry as a homosexual man's anus, then wouldn't it be gay to have sex with the woman under those circumstances? I would think a little moistness would be useful for the man to distinguish it from a homosexual encounter.
"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-19-2014, 04:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExGay Alex
Due to the fact that I am not married, I have never had sexual congress with a woman. But I can imagine how icky it would be if she were juicy enough to splash.
Question though: The gaysexuals have dry anal sodomy sex. If the woman's cooter is as dry as a homosexual man's anus, then wouldn't it be gay to have sex with the woman under those circumstances? I would think a little moistness would be useful for the man to distinguish it from a homosexual encounter.
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It is my understanding the homosexual eats those foods most conducive to diarrhea. By maintaining a constant flow of sewage in his pipes, he is always at the ready for an impromptu meeting with a fellow homosexual in a dark ally, airport bathroom, or Democratic Convention. Some foods are glorified for just this purpose, and they make no effort to hide the quality of their services to this regard. Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears is one of their favorites, as you can see from the reviews here:
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“What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM.”
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Quote:
“Be sure to also buy a tub of Oxyclean with this to get the blood and diarrhea stains out of your underwear, clothes, furniture, pets, loved ones, ceiling fans.”
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"I was glued to the toilet seat. Streams of fire burst from my colon. When i wasnt experiencing Satans fury exploding from my rear, i was laying in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, sobbing and asking for forgiveness. Im a 280 pound man. I. Was. Sobbing."
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I can assure you, the LORD made a woman's internal environment to be sufficiently dry, and her countenance unfettered by emotions for the task at hand when she has given herself over to Christ. Making soldiers for Christ is no small responsibility, and it wouldn't do for a woman to be easily distracted by such issues as comfort, where her mind might have a tendency to wander. The LORD does provide small mercies, even to those through whom sin is continually unleashed unto humanity (Job 14:4).
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-26-2014, 07:16 PM
I can only testify from personal experience, but back before I was Saved™ I would frequently abandon my natural use (Romans 1:27) and indulge in the most horrific unmentionable acts with other women, and my Dark Hole of Satan would be wetter than a Mexican'ts back.
But thanks to coming into me, I was able to find Salvation™ and renounce my sapphic slattern ways. Now when my husband, Mr. Whitford, and I enjoy our monthly attempt at making more Little Warriors for , I'm as dry as a Lutheran "pastor's" wit, just as the intended!
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Unsaved trash, recovering retard
Under Investigation
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Posts: 14
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: on the stairway to Heaven.
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-27-2014, 03:18 AM
Am I the only one that took offense to the White woman laying with the Negro? I never made it past that to read the article.
***removed image depicting fornication***
Deuteronomy 18:20 King James Version (KJV)
20 But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.
Last edited by Elmer G. White; 12-27-2014 at 03:52 AM.
Reason: 1 Corinthians 14:40 Let all things be done decently and in order.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-27-2014, 03:25 AM
No, you're not. See post #3. Utterly obscene.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-27-2014, 04:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford
I can only testify from personal experience, but back before I was Saved™ I would frequently abandon my natural use (Romans 1:27) and indulge in the most horrific unmentionable acts with other women, and my Dark Hole of Satan would be wetter than a Mexican'ts back.
But thanks to coming into me, I was able to find Salvation™ and renounce my sapphic slattern ways. Now when my husband, Mr. Whitford, and I enjoy our monthly attempt at making more Little Warriors for , I'm as dry as a Lutheran "pastor's" wit, just as the intended!
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Oh, what a powerful testimony, Mrs. Whitford. You're so comely and demure, I would have never guessed that you'd ever been a dyke!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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