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Silent Wench Silent Wench is offline
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Default I wanna request a prayer for a dike mate of mine - 04-19-2008, 06:00 AM

A childhood mate of mine has been a dike sinse she was in feety pajamas, and I wanna ask everyone to pray that she will recover somehow.
When we was teenagers, she actually convinced me to have a dike threesome with her and her cousin! Yep, her blood cousin. I liked it well enough at the time, but have sinse atoned for that terrible sin and now only do after hour stuff with my guy.

Anybody had success in converting a homer before? Anybody got any say on how to help her see what she's doing is all sixes and sevens?
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Default Re: I wanna request a prayer for a dike mate of mine - 04-19-2008, 11:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent Wren View Post
A childhood mate of mine has been a dike sinse she was in feety pajamas, and I wanna ask everyone to pray that she will recover somehow.
When we was teenagers, she actually convinced me to have a dike threesome with her and her cousin! Yep, her blood cousin. I liked it well enough at the time, but have sinse atoned for that terrible sin and now only do after hour stuff with my guy.

Anybody had success in converting a homer before? Anybody got any say on how to help her see what she's doing is all sixes and sevens?
So we can better help you, can you please describe exactly what you liked "well enough" at the time?

This is an important first step in the process, so please tell us everything.




Exodus 22:18
says, "Suffer not a witch to live." Deuteronomy 18:10 says, "There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch."
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Default Re: I wanna request a prayer for a dike mate of mine - 04-19-2008, 11:30 AM

I don't even understand what language this prayer request is in.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: I wanna request a prayer for a dike mate of mine - 04-19-2008, 12:16 PM

What's converting Homers got to do with dike?
I go there quite regularly.



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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: I wanna request a prayer for a dike mate of mine - 04-19-2008, 05:14 PM

I would live in Dike if I could. It's such a lovely place to be.


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

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Default Re: I wanna request a prayer for a dike mate of mine - 04-19-2008, 07:33 PM

Unless my understanding of cunning lingo fails me, Miss Wench is using Brit or Ozzie phraseology. Perhaps she has recently emigrated from one of those heathenish realms to God's Favorite Nation.

Miss Wench, in the USA we style the female homersexural a "dyke". If she drives a large truck or earthmoving equipment she may be called a "diesel dyke". The word is spelled with a "y" instead of an "i".

Now, as to your question: We can and do save souls from lesbianistical and faggortorious sin. Here is a prayer which my father used when he caught two or more young women engaging in same-sex confusion:

--------------------

O LORD of Hosts! I pray to You, hep these here young folks from shoving their purty faces down inter them Dirty Places where they ought not to even be looking. Praise Yore Name, Lord! Hep them not to munch no carpets, nor to stick their fingers in no honeypots, nor to lick around their purvate parts like a bitch hound with a inflammulated Volvo.

Hep them, Lord.

God, You know I ain't no prevert. But I done knowed the Godly procreative urges that a man does feel, and I done knowed what to do with my Good Wife when them urges struck. And so I gots eight beautiful intelligent childrens, and also Jack, which makes nine in all.

Hep them young girls which is doing abdominations to ABANDON they sinful ways. Hep them to find a nice young man and marry his sorry ass. And hep them to raise a beautiful brood of childrens just like mine (except for Jack).

Hep them, Lord.

Amen.

--------------------------------

Hope that helps.

~~ OEJ
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Default Re: I wanna request a prayer for a dyke mate of mine - 04-20-2008, 03:16 AM

Thanks for the prayer, Jack. And sorry about the backwards spelling, I don't understand all this computer English yet, it's all in abbreviations. On a shivy note, does anybody know why my username was changed?


Howdy.
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Default Re: I wanna request a prayer for a dyke mate of mine - 04-20-2008, 08:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent Wench View Post
Thanks for the prayer, Jack. And sorry about the backwards spelling, I don't understand all this computer English yet, it's all in abbreviations. On a shivy note, does anybody know why my username was changed?
These Boards run on the Godly JesOS Operating System. It sometimes does things we don't quite understand, but being True Christians™ we don't question it.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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