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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:28 PM
So I talked to Goddess today. She wanted me to tell you all this. See, people like us (sensitives, Grey, 'kin, witches, etc) are the chosen ones. We are the ones who are destined to changed the fate of the world (tell me something I don't know!) and that we have to use our powers of reason and intuition to help shape the earth. Problem is, there are lots of STUPID people on the planet. She's a pretty awesome Goddess, so she knew she would have to give us a bit of a mental workout to get us into shape.
So here's what She did. About 2000 years ago, She came up with a phony religion. She used Her almighty shapeshifting abilities (cause you know deity are polymorphs) and turned into a God for a bit, made sent this Jesus guy, under the guise that it would snowball into the world's largest fundamental religion. This false religion would parade itself as 'the one true religion,' 'salvation,' 'the word of the Lord,' and many other absolute statements. She knew that they would say they are the only way to Heaven, that they would try their hardest to convince the True Believers they are on the wrong path and try to make them stray from their universal duty. They would have a figurehead, a mascot of evil, Satan, whom which they would try to convince the Chosen that all of their ways are wrong, to tempt them, to see if their faith to the True Goddess was real. They would threaten the Chosen with an eternity of agony (even in Her greatest scorn, She's never been pissed enough to put us away for ETERNITY! gosh...) and all sorts of other nasty stuff for our 'erroneous ways.'
I invite any of you seeds of temptation to prove me wrong, for I know the one true path, and Jesus was created solely as a construct to test my faith.
Good luck XD
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:31 PM
Your’ logic is faulty, how could you goddess impregnate Mary? Women don’t generate life.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:32 PM
SHE IS A GODDESS! thats how... and technically, it requires both a man and a woman to generate life, right?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:36 PM
and... if you read the whole thing you would realize that she turned male for a while
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 63
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Norfolk, Enlgand.
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:38 PM
Why do you purposefully try and aggrevate people on this forum? Saying this will obviously upset people, just seems a bit pointless coming on the forums if all you are going to do is upset people and get yourself banned.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:39 PM
i do not wish to anger people... situations are 1% what happens and 99% how you react...so if they get angry, its not my fault... but i wish to make a point
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecil_Widowmaker
and... if you read the whole thing you would realize that she turned male for a while
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Oh, I see...she's a goddess that turned herself male so she could impregnate Mary and create the false religion of Christianity. Then she turned herself back into a female again and started telling the Christians how wrong they are when she created them in the first place. What kind of sick freak do you worship?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 12
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecil_Widowmaker
i do not wish to anger people... situations are 1% what happens and 99% how you react...so if they get angry, its not my fault... but i wish to make a point
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mister windowmaker, you make me angry cause you make fun of baby Jesus and make him cry.
If you make me cry my mama gonna kick your Butt.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Miss Talitha
mister windowmaker, you make me angry cause you make fun of baby Jesus and make him cry.
If you make me cry my mama gonna kick your Butt.
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MY SIRNAME IS WIDOWMAKER! and last time i checked, Jesus was a 35 (or so) year old man and no longer an infant, i would love to see your mother try to harm me as well, it would get rid of the boredom
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Oh, I see...she's a goddess that turned herself male so she could impregnate Mary and create the false religion of Christianity. Then she turned herself back into a female again and started telling the Christians how wrong they are when she created them in the first place. What kind of sick freak do you worship?
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i do not worship a sick freak, if anyone worships a sick freak, its you guys, how wrathful your God is, should people not worship a loving character? why is it your God threatens and condemns nearly everything you do? the only thing we condemn is discrimination, drugs, and alcohol.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 63
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Norfolk, Enlgand.
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:57 PM
I don't see why your goddess would make a fake religion, did she make the other major religions of the world? If thats the case then she really is incredibly stupid, what sort of god would make religions up, could she not see that religions would end up at each other's throats? If this is the case she is responsible for the deaths of everybody from 911, the crusades, war in Afghanistan, the list can go on, and the deaths she is responsible for are unthinkable. That's one great goddess you got there.
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 07:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecil_Widowmaker
why is it your God threatens and condemns nearly everything you do? the only thing we condemn is discrimination, drugs, and alcohol.
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Why does your goddess create things that you can feel superior too? What are we Christians? Do you think we like being some goddesses sick plaything???
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 08:13 PM
the wars may are not her fault... she may have created them but it is mankinds fault that they have killed eachother over them, the problem is people fighting in the name of their god(s) and/or goddess(es) and it suddenly becomes right to kill those whose beliefs conflict theirs... foolish if you ask me
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 08:16 PM
i enjoy the fact that i answer your questions and yet you answer mine with more questions... why is this?
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecil_Widowmaker
i enjoy the fact that i answer your questions and yet you answer mine with more questions... why is this?
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Why is what?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 08:23 PM
why do you answer my questions with merely more questions?
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 08:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecil_Widowmaker
why do you answer my questions with merely more questions?
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What questions are you talking about?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: soon... the Summerlands, as will all
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 08:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecil_Widowmaker
how wrathful your God is, should people not worship a loving character? why is it your God threatens and condemns nearly everything you do? the only thing we condemn is discrimination, drugs, and alcohol.
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these questions
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 08:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecil_Widowmaker
i do not worship a sick freak, if anyone worships a sick freak, its you guys, how wrathful your God is, should people not worship a loving character? why is it your God threatens and condemns nearly everything you do? the only thing we condemn is discrimination, drugs, and alcohol.
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There's a lot of anger there boy, I suggest some deep breaths and a little exercise. Then sit yourself down with the Good Book and do a little reading.
It's hard at first because in KJV1611, the language is old American, but you'll pick it up.
Then come back with a few well chosen requests for guidance.
Remember Jesus is my best friend, and He could be yours!
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: I LAUGH!! -
04-10-2008, 08:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecil_Widowmaker
the only thing we condemn is discrimination, drugs, and alcohol.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecil_Widowmaker
these questions
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What about rape, murder, child molestation, theft, stabbing people...those things are ok?
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