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Default There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 01-20-2008, 01:30 PM

My Church does not have ramps for cripples!
...for the Bible does not call for special rights for sinful gimps!

My Church does not have parking spaces for cripples!
...for why would we want to encourage unsaved cripples to drive a car?

My Church does not provide hymnal books in braille!
...for who wants to hear heathen blind people sing?

My Church does not employ spastics to perform "sign language"!
...for we do not put on a slapstick comedy show in God's house!

Whenever I am asked why we do not make accommodations for such people, I sternly issue this rebuke, "We do not cater to SINNERS, at Landover Baptist Chrurch!"

This may come as a shock to many of you, as it is far removed from the "politically correct" pablum that you've been forcefed all your lives. But God Almighty never bothered with being "P.C.", and neither shall I!

I am reminded of a time when I visited an Episcopalian church some time ago. The minister, as is custom, faces the altar with his blessings and then turns to the congregation stating, "May the Lord be with you", with the congregation replying, "And also with you". Well, on this occasion, the minister's microphone was not working properly and he turned around, patting the mike on his lapel saying, "There's something wrong with this thing.", and thus the people seated therein replied, "And also with you"!

I just about died laughing.

While an amusing anecdote, it also teaches an important lesson. There WAS something wrong with this false minister, and the way he conducted his false church! While I was sitting in that church, I noticed up front there was a lady flashing what looked like gang symbols to the front few rows, with each person in turn flashing back symbols as if they were some sort of demented air traffic controller! It was very distracting to those of us wishing to sincerely and properly praise Jesus. My host next to me explained their church offered service for the "hearing impaired" as if it were something to brag about. I was appalled.

Next, and most shocking, towards the end of the service when the minister offered communion to the servers, I noticed one of them was a little off-kilter... to say the least. Shorter than the rest of them, with sloped shoulders and a bowl haircut which barely was able to contain the large cowlick in the back of his head, he wore unfitted clothing which went out of style over a decade ago. Worse still, a large, silly grin beamed on his face from ear to ear below his upturned nose and his out of place eyes on his tiny little head. He was drooling and he smelled something awful.

It was clear this boy was one of those retardeds.

Well, I had just had it! Even if I had not already been planning on refusing to take bread and wine from this apostate church, I certainly would have avoided it upon seeing this drooling fool! Was this minister wrong???? Goodness! He could only get MORE wrong by inviting a bus load of nigra buck rapists and drug pushers from the local prison into his church!

I stood up on my seat, addressing the minister in my clear, commanding voice (aided by the bullhorn I had concealed) so that all his congregation could hear of their abominations and iniquities, and rebuked the SNOT out of him, so that he was left a pathetic stuttering schoolboy (and I noticed that the young retarded had wet his pants) when I exposed this mockery for what it was!

When my good work was complete, I stormed out of that false church and have not set foot in one again! Praise Jesus!!

Where did this minister go wrong, you might ask? Well, as your True Christian™ Pastor, let me enlighten you!

There can be no doubt the Lord does not want any sinners fouling up the pristine air where His true followers meet for fellowship and worship. Hence our motto "Unsaved = Unwelcome."

2 Cor.6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Titus 3:10-11
A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject;
Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself.

Romans 16:17
Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.


What good could possibly come of inviting a sinner to church??? Inviting unclean thought into the House of the Lord is only inviting trouble, as all the sinner can think about is having his way with the decent, pious, True Christian™ ladies and how he can steal some money out of the collection plate!

What does this have to do with the cripples? EVERYTHING!

The term "disabled" or "handicapped" was invented by the no-good, lying members of the demoncrat party and the lieberal media! These terms were invented to sugar-coat the dregs of our population and trick Christians into seeing them as "poor innocent victims" instead of what they really are; and that is CURSED SINNERS!

Oh yes, they might look at you with sorrowful and cute doe eyes, and smile their drooling donkey grins, but make no mistake about it: If these people had their full senses and abilities, you would be strung up and at their perverted mercy before two shakes of a stick! There is a reason for everything, folks! And there is an awfully good reason the Lord smited these heathens! They do not deserve our "coddling", they deserve our SCORN and REJECTION! Amen!

These people are guilty of horrible, horrible crimes and thus are forced to pay for their crimes (or their ancestor's crimes) while here on the earth, as well as in HELL!

It is not a "shame", a "tragedy" or "bad luck" they turn out this way... It is no accident, don't be fooled! We are talking about God's Will!

Exodus 4:11
And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?

Exodus 20:5
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;


Whether they were aware of it or not, these folks (or their parents or distant ancestor) greatly displeased the Lord, and thus, invited His glorious wrath down upon themselves and all their unfortunate descendants!

Leviticus 5:17
And if a soul sin, and commit any of these things which are forbidden to be done by the commandments of the LORD; though he wist it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity.


Behind those glazed or unseeing eyes, folks, lies the souls of PURE evil! Evil often molded by SATAN himself! The blind, deaf and dumb (and DUMMIES) are satan's own "wolves in sheep's clothing"! Who better to get us to lower our guard than some blind beggar asking for change, or some imbecile drooling on himself and bouncing into walls???

The Lord warns us of these people! To not heed His warning is to invite sin upon ourselves!

Leviticus 21:16-17
... Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous


Throughout the ages, the Lord has cursed sinners with horrible plagues, boils, halitosis, leprosy and other such maladies! Unless you want to be caught in His loving net of vengeance, I suggest you STAY AWAY!

2 Kings 6:18
And when they came down to him, Elisha prayed unto the LORD, and said, Smite this people, I pray thee, with blindness. And he smote them with blindness according to the word of Elisha.

Zephaniah 1:17
And I will bring distress upon men, that they shall walk like blind men, because they have sinned against the LORD: and their blood shall be poured out as dust, and their flesh as the dung.


These "people" had their chance at redemption before the Lord a LONG time ago! It is not yours or my business to preach the Gospel to them, as they only seek to mock it! And the retardeds can't understand a word you say anyhow!

These "people" belong in prisons and guarded hospital-camps where we are safe from them. I encourage all True Christians™ to forget about the politically correct "tolerance" they have been taught (by the joos who run the mass media) when it comes to these demented souls. Disregard it when someone might say, "they are just like you, they're people with feelings, too". Well they're not "JUST LIKE YOU" or they'd be able to see, hear and talk like a normal human being, now wouldn't they??? These people are clearly of the devil and there are no "ifs, ands or buts" about it!

God Bless and keep an eye out for these servants of perdition! Glory!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 01-20-2008, 03:35 PM

Pastor! WHY do these sinners have to just keep on being so Wicked? Stammering, slobbering, gimping along....

Shaming the very God who Created them - In His Own Image!

Why just the other day I overheard this spazz trying to Proclaim that he was.....Christian! "I am a C-C-C-Christian Man!"

He sure was Booked on Phonics, he was!

But wait a minute....maybe he was trying to say that he was a "K-K-K Christian Man"?

Damn reetards anyway - always gotta keep you guessing!
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 01-20-2008, 04:39 PM

Does the Bible say anything explicit about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Multiple Sclerosis? While I haven't found any verses dealing with the subject directly, I can't help feeling that those lazy gimps are definitely enemies of America and freedom somehow.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-04-2010, 06:44 PM

Shout GLORY!!!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-04-2010, 07:24 PM

Lessons like this need to be taught and taught again Pastor. We give those gimps even a finger nail hold they will turn Landover into some false Christian feel good abomination were everyone is forgiven, even Democrats.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-04-2010, 09:00 PM

While I agree wholeheartedly with you Pastor Ezekial, I must ask how do you get past all of the laws? Or is it different in Freehold? I mean, I can't help but think how difficult it is to be constantly badgered for not 'aiding the poor handicapped.'


1 Timothy 2:11-15
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-04-2010, 09:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nolita View Post
While I agree wholeheartedly with you Pastor Ezekial, I must ask how do you get past all of the laws? Or is it different in Freehold?
It's a bit of a loophole: while God tells us to obey secular law, God does not tell the police to enforce it.


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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-04-2010, 09:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
It's a bit of a loophole: while God tells us to obey secular law, God does not tell the police to enforce it.
Oh, I understand now. Thank you!


1 Timothy 2:11-15
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-04-2010, 09:37 PM

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Originally Posted by Nolita View Post
Oh, I understand now. Thank you!
Landover Baptist is in compliance with all Freehold City and Freehold County ordinances. City of Freehold is proud to be a Christian community that holds to traditional American values.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-24-2010, 10:20 PM

Remember we had that one guy with a cleft pallet ask to give a sermon? Pastor had to give him this same lecture. I couldn't even imagine his face 20 feet tall on the Church Jumbo Tron.
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-25-2010, 02:35 AM

While the people that know not what they speak of will shout ''God helps them that helps themselves'' might appreciate the sayings of Ben Franklin or they might quote some other like platitude but God was not fond of cripples even to the point of not making them welcome in his church and to deny them communion. If the church were to build one of those handicapped ramps or the like they would be working in direct contridiction to the lord's directives.

Leviticus 21: 17-23 says “Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, or a man that is broken footed, or broken handed, or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; no man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the Lord made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God. He shall eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy and of the holy, only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish, that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the Lord do sanctify them.”

God excluded all of these people from service because he felt that their physical distinctions would “profane” his sanctuaries




1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-25-2010, 01:18 PM

Uhu..

As far as I see, christian people don't care about the weakest in society. Very interesting.
So if get hit by a car on the street, gets braindamaged for life and become a "cripple",
I'm really not a christian anymore... That's what you guys said.
According to the Bible, people MUST take care of the weakest and poorest.
- Even the sinners.

Shame on you all!
Remember Adam and Eva? They got kicked out of Paradise.
And who was Adam end Eva? The human beings.
No human will ever go to Paradise when dead. We're all banned.

But where's the proof there ever was a God? I wanna see before believing.


ADMIN: Nonsense removed
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 05-25-2010, 01:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LostAndDamned View Post
Uhu..

As far as I see, christian people don't care about the weakest in society. Very interesting.
So if get hit by a car on the street, gets braindamaged for life and become a "cripple",
I'm really not a christian anymore... That's what you guys said.
According to the Bible, people MUST take care of the weakest and poorest.
- Even the sinners.

Shame on you all!
Remember Adam and Eva? They got kicked out of Paradise.
And who was Adam end Eva? The human beings.
No human will ever go to Paradise when dead. We're all banned.

But where's the proof there ever was a God? I wanna see before believing.
you stated
According to the Bible, people MUST take care of the weakest and poorest.
- Even the sinners.

To further this discussion could you please show me where in the KJV1611 this is demonstrated. The users of this site do not ''say things'' but confirm statements with the word of the lord.

Lev.21:17-23
Whosoever ... hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God. ... Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries.


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 07-13-2010, 05:45 AM

I'm completely fine with all religions and beliefs. People should be able to express their views, but you sick bastards are mentally ill. If you think your God is the judgmental asshole that you make him out to be then why would you support that? It's people like you spreading your corrupted thoughts to the minds of the weak that make this world that much worse. You would be doing humanity a favor by taking a gun and shooting yourselves in the head. You all fail as a human.
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 07-13-2010, 06:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peaceful Atheist View Post
I'm completely fine with all religions and beliefs.
It's terrorists like you who coddle islamofascist suicide bombers. If there's an atheist that I hate most it's a peaceful atheist who is unwilling to even open his eyes. If I had a bridge I would throw you off it along with all the other hypocrites who claim to be non-judgmental but hate only Christians. You disgust me.


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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 07-13-2010, 03:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peaceful Atheist View Post
I'm completely fine with all religions and beliefs. People should be able to express their views, but you sick bastards are mentally ill. If you think your God is the judgmental asshole that you make him out to be then why would you support that? It's people like you spreading your corrupted thoughts to the minds of the weak that make this world that much worse. You would be doing humanity a favor by taking a gun and shooting yourselves in the head. You all fail as a human.
The only thing worse than an atheist is a faggot loving, tree humping, terrorist supporting, peaceful atheist!


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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 07-13-2010, 06:58 PM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
It's terrorists like you who coddle islamofascist suicide bombers.
Those suicide bombers believe in the same exact God you all do. When they kill themselves along with dozens of other innocent victims, they believe they are doing "holy work". So tell me...is God opposing you all for portraying him as something he is not?
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 07-13-2010, 07:13 PM

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Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
The only thing worse than an atheist is a faggot loving, tree humping, terrorist supporting, peaceful atheist!
It is quite sad that you believe the words "peaceful" and "terrorist" coincide. They are antonyms. If you believe that bombing cities and sending thousands of men and woman to a foreign country to kill your fellow brothers and sisters is peaceful...then you really are brainwashed by fear.
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 07-13-2010, 08:09 PM

Your seemingly endless supply of bible verses has not one effect on me. Try using your own minds to say something with intelligence instead of claiming to be "The Word of God".
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Default Re: There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church! - 07-13-2010, 08:13 PM

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Originally Posted by Peaceful Atheist View Post
Your seemingly endless supply of bible verses has not one effect on me. Try using your own minds to say something with intelligence instead of claiming to be "The Word of God".
This is a Christian forum. We follow the Holy Bible word for word, as God commands. You are not welcome here.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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