Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
|
Also loves Jesus and America
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 820
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lone Christian in pagan Oregon
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-01-2010, 08:25 PM
It will be a hardship, but I can be guardian for the young ladies until they are ripe for church servicing.
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-01-2010, 08:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by landoverlover
It will be a hardship, but I can be guardian for the young ladies until they are ripe for church servicing.
|
I'm sure your generous offer is heart-felt, but you are not a True Christian™ and have yet to prove yourself ready for such a mission.
I, myself, am a True Christian™ and often offered my services to these young ladies. Let me assure you they are very appreciative of what I have to offer.
Perhaps someday, when you become worthy, your offer can be accepted.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 3
Join Date: Aug 2010
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-07-2010, 11:59 PM
Lesbianism is not caused by the grouping of or controlled interaction of women. I know many lesbian women and most realise they are lesbians by the age of 20 or later - it is not something learned, it is something that is a part of a person. anyone who can't see that is clearly reading too many books and not looking past their own nose
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 305
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Virginia
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-08-2010, 12:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristianLad
Lesbianism is not caused by the grouping of or controlled interaction of women. I know many lesbian women and most realise they are lesbians by the age of 20 or later - it is not something learned, it is something that is a part of a person. anyone who can't see that is clearly reading too many books and not looking past their own nose
|
Oh Lad, you are so young and naive. I would love to see some scriptural proof of your beliefs.
Genesis 4:12: When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.
Numbers 35:19: The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 3
Join Date: Aug 2010
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-08-2010, 02:06 AM
Quote:
Oh Lad, you are so young and naive. I would love to see some scriptural proof of your beliefs.
|
you are a deluded individual
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 305
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Virginia
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-08-2010, 01:56 PM
I don't see any scriptural proof for your beliefs about lesbianism.
Genesis 4:12: When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.
Numbers 35:19: The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 8
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Council Bluffs, Iowa
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-19-2010, 07:59 PM
How come this sounds like some sort of lure young women into sex scheme? 0_o
|
|
Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
|
|
Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-19-2010, 08:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha Whinippley
How come this sounds like some sort of lure young women into sex scheme? 0_o
|
That would probably be because you are a pervert who thinks of nothing else.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-19-2010, 09:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha Whinippley
How come this sounds like some sort of lure young women into sex scheme? 0_o
|
I'm ashamed to note you are an Iowan. And you have a filthy mind.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 8
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Council Bluffs, Iowa
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-19-2010, 09:58 PM
um "one on one time?" no parents aloud...
|
|
WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,261
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: God's Favorite Country
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-19-2010, 10:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristianLad
I know many lesbian women and most realise they are lesbians by the age of 20 or later - it is not something learned, it is something that is a part of a person.
|
Back up here, friend. Let's review facts:
- Up until age 20: women are heterosexual and even do promiscuous acts with boys if they're not Christian
- Around age 20, they go to college, get their heads messed up with
- Bingo, they realize they're lesbians
If anything, this PROVES that lesbianism is a LEARNED TRAIT!
I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen
Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-19-2010, 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha Whinippley
um "one on one time?" no parents aloud...
|
Now, Martha, Martha, Martha………..I’m sure you are well aware of my lofty True Christian™ status here and are probably making an attempt to lure me into a “tryst” of some kind.
I must let your know that I have a rather lucrative career in the newspaper distribution field and must keep my customers properly serviced on a daily basis.
For example, just down the street from my home base, the first stop I make is at the home of the DuBois sisters, Dolly and Dotty.
When I step upon their porch, they unfailingly greet me with a fresh cup of Dolly’s cough medicine. When I leave there several hours later it’s on to the trailer court’s resident quadriplegic, Roger, who greets me with a fresh cinnamon roll clenched in his teeth.
From there, it’s on to the nearly other dozen customers I have. So you can see I’m quite busy in the early morning hours.
While it is true that I believe you need an up-close, highly personal, one-on-one encounter, you have to realize that my busy schedule is something to behold.
Perhaps we can agree to meet mid-way. And here I’m thinking of the city of Atlantic. I’m sure my Yamahopper moped would get me there within a couple of hours.
We could meet at the HyVee on the west side and decide where to have some quiet time for me to witness to you. I’ve often stayed in the Motel 6 because of their excellent selection of video entertainment and I’m sure this will meet your expectations. (Their “training films” are something to behold.}
Perhaps this cuming coming Saturday will work out for your schedule? Say noon-ish?
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: in bed with by fag boyfriend
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-27-2010, 08:26 AM
So he has sexual relations with 18-24 year olds in a 4 star hotel? Or does he do something else?
|
|
True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-27-2010, 09:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unbiased
So he has sexual relations with 18-24 year olds in a 4 star hotel? Or does he do something else?
|
Listen, you sex-crazed hussy... where do I say anything about sexual relations? NOWHERE! I simply talk, discuss, help, and provide a firm hand in guidance for young women. The reason why it takes place in such an exquisite hotel is to put the young lady at ease because I want her to be as open and honest with herself as she possibly can. We all know women of that age are emotional trainwrecks. I need easy access inside of them so I can probe them and help them achieve spiritual satisfaction.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
|
|
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
|
|
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-27-2010, 09:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unbiased
So he has sexual relations with 18-24 year olds in a 4 star hotel.
|
Of course not! How can you say something that idiotic?
Matthew 5:10 "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-27-2010, 03:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
Listen, you sex-crazed hussy...where do I say anything about sexual relations? NOWHERE! I simply talk, discuss, help, and provide a firm hand in guidance for young women. The reason why it takes place in such an exquisite hotel is to put the young lady at ease because I want her to be as open and honest with herself as she possibly can. We all know women of that age are emotional trainwrecks. I need easy access inside of them so I can probe them and help them achieve spiritual satisfaction.
|
I would also point out that Rev Osborne is offering to spiritually service these woman for FREE. It really is disgusting when people treat him like he is some kind of Evangelist man-whore simonizing his way threw these legions of troubled woman and selling them salvation.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 13
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Europe
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-30-2010, 08:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
Listen, you sex-crazed hussy...where do I say anything about sexual relations? NOWHERE! [..] I need easy access inside of them so I can probe them and help them achieve spiritual satisfaction.
|
hihi, this is probably my dirty mind here, and regardless of WHAT you ACTUALLY do with these girls, your use of language is entertaining ...
you know, I don't believe you do anything to them as they are true Christian girls and cherish their virginity (I do hope they consider oral sex as a way to loose virginity) so I guess they won't let you "guide them with a strong hand" in any sexual way
Just an advice from an agnostic like me ("which needs to get bitch-slapped by god"): using such a strong language that might be so easily interpreted sexually might actually drive people like me away from finding their way to God through the trustworthy advice of a Churchmen ... so, if you have or if you have not any ulterior motives here, how about using a more non-ambigous language to not evoke those false images in your costumers heads?
btw, I would not send my daughters to your advice with this ad text
good luck anyways with squirting the words of God inside these young girls
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
08-30-2010, 10:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luca2007
hihi, this is probably my dirty mind here, and regardless of WHAT you ACTUALLY do with these girls, your use of language is entertaining ...
you know, I don't believe you do anything to them as they are true Christian girls and cherish their virginity (I do hope they consider oral sex as a way to loose virginity) so I guess they won't let you "guide them with a strong hand" in any sexual way
Just an advice from an agnostic like me ("which needs to get bitch-slapped by god"): using such a strong language that might be so easily interpreted sexually might actually drive people like me away from finding their way to God through the trustworthy advice of a Churchmen ... so, if you have or if you have not any ulterior motives here, how about using a more non-ambigous language to not evoke those false images in your costumers heads?
btw, I would not send my daughters to your advice with this ad text
good luck anyways with squirting the words of God inside these young girls
|
How sad your self-admitted dirty mind is put on display here. Only a mind wallowing in the gutter could come up the innuendo you think you see in the Godly work being done by Rev. Jim.
Of course you would not send your daughters to Rev. Jim. With your attitude I suspect you're raising your daughters to be Bull Dykes and Brother Jim could do little to reverse all those years of your evil tutoring.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 4
Join Date: Sep 2010
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
09-27-2010, 07:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Ok, I'll take your word for it. Let's assume she's high on Jesus, that would be better than the weed.
|
Hey ripping the bong is really fun, but I can see you're into more intense and harmful drugs.
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo -
09-27-2010, 02:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darwin1992
Hey ripping the bong is really fun, but I can see you're into more intense and harmful drugs.
|
True Christians™ do not take drugs of any kind. Jesus heals our bodies, with the assistance of Rev Jim. Just last week I had a horrible headache, I prayed to Jesus, Rev Jim laid his hands upon my head. Seconds later the pain was gone. Praise Jesus and thanks Rev. Jim
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|