THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only. |
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Posts: 144
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Location: godless vancouver washington
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what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
11-13-2010, 06:53 AM
As we all know satan is pushing sugar plumbs and candy and other devices down our childrens stockings for them to be distracted from God. However there is one gift that keeps on giving for eternity! SLIPS!!!!!
Especially great for that child who's just learning to read, Slips not only can give the kid's a great fun time but they can start to learn to fear God at the same time they learn to read!! If you have not seen one before here are a few examples of the good times that await your child!
Here is one for a new age of love!!!
and one that especially brings home the bacon!!!
I am giddy with joy waiting for Jesus's birthday to give these to my nephews!
Deuteronomy 6:5
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
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Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
11-13-2010, 08:22 PM
I'm thinking of one of these personal computer video games for the grandkids to share. Leaning toward "Truth Seekers: Battle Against The Lies" as the most educational for the youngsters. But hard to pass up the "Bible Champions" series too. I'll pray on which one to buy on the world wide web.
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Location: Topeka, Kansas
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
11-13-2010, 08:54 PM
Children should become ... nothing!
Presents are only for buisness partners, or other people outside the family. Never give your wife a present!
Proverbs 17:8
8A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.
Proverbs 21:19
19It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
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Posts: 119
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
11-16-2010, 03:33 AM
I don't have any kids but I have some close friends with kids and I am gonna put one of these in each one of the little ones stockings.
GOD HATE FAGS
Athiesm is a form of mental illness that should be treated immediately.
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Posts: 144
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Location: godless vancouver washington
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
11-16-2010, 03:38 AM
That's a plus!! I would just be worried about the stocking's ability to hold the weight of the greatness of a KJV 1611, I think you should wake the children up by beating them with their new bibles!! In addition to being a good introduction to the beginning of loving Christ they wouldn't mistake who gave them the gift with satan Clause
Deuteronomy 6:5
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
11-16-2010, 11:01 AM
Well, I am a softie and I do love to spoil my kids.
As soon as a child is one year old, they get a plastic coated KJV Bible.
After that, the boys get guns or dirt bikes, the girls, vacuums or brooms.
When the boys reach 15, they get their first car, always a fixer-uper, like a '78 Porsche whale tail (that is little Esiah's present this year - shhhh) or some other oldie but goodie. I'll never forget little James Jr. (little, he is 37 now) , we got him an old all alloy Speedster. Many a fun night was spent in the shop boring and stroking.
The girls get ironing boards and floor buffers.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 3
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Council Bluffs, Iowa
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
11-26-2010, 02:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by despising david
As we all know satan is pushing sugar plumbs and candy and other devices down our childrens stockings for them to be distracted from God. However there is one gift that keeps on giving for eternity! SLIPS!!!!!
Especially great for that child who's just learning to read, Slips not only can give the kid's a great fun time but they can start to learn to fear God at the same time they learn to read!! If you have not seen one before here are a few examples of the good times that await your child!
Here is one for a new age of love!!!
and one that especially brings home the bacon!!!
I am giddy with joy waiting for Jesus's birthday to give these to my nephews!
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Your nephews are learning to read? How about a nice pocket Bible?
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Posts: 16
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Boston
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
12-15-2013, 12:19 AM
For a daughter, what about this lovely cleaning trolley?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
12-15-2013, 05:02 AM
Stockings should be filled with Christian candy.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Posts: 197
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Godless New Zealand, land of sheep buggerers
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
12-15-2013, 05:40 AM
I'm giving these inflatable Jesus figures to my nephews:
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,451
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
12-15-2013, 06:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS
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Would Jesus hold His AK-47 by the magazine?
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Posts: 197
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Location: Godless New Zealand, land of sheep buggerers
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
12-15-2013, 06:28 AM
I think he's replacing the magazine.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 30
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: bestiality fan
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Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!! -
12-15-2013, 10:29 AM
If I had children id put Halos in their stockings. To let them know they are my little angels.
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