Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!
Reload this Page POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!!
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Vayhr of the Warhost's Avatar
Vayhr of the Warhost Vayhr of the Warhost is offline
Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
Forum Member
 
Posts: 342
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Vayhr of the Warhost is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Vayhr of the Warhost is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-17-2008, 05:02 PM

ATTENTION ALL VIRGIN CHRISTIAN WOMEN!!!!!

Make yourselves known to me!!!

ATTENTION ALL WIDOWS OF GOOD MIND AND BODY!!!

Make yourselves known to me!!!

ATTENTION ALL THOSE WOMEN WHO HAVE REDEEMDED THEMSELVES IN CHRIST!!!

Make yourselves known to ME!!!

I'll KNOW that all females who do not reveal themselves are depraved whores who SPIT IN THE FACE OF BABY JESUS!!!! And any fornicating witch who dares to mock the sanctity of the word "TRUE Christian" while being a rotten trollop is deserving of having their vaginas filled with rusty razorblades and their pelvic regions crushed with a spiked iron mace!!!

If you have strong hair that doesn't pull out easily, a firm, hard, and tough body, lots of stamina, and if your faith in Jesus has given you an unusual tolerance for pain let me know. Wide childbearing hips are a major plus!!!

If you like a manly man with stubble, musk, hard sweaty muscles, and being picked up and tossed around that will also be a plus in your favor!!!

MAY THE WILL OF GOD BE DONE!!!!!!

WWWWRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH HHHH!!!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-17-2008, 05:45 PM

How do you like your Eggs in the Morning Mr Vahhyyrraaaarrrrrgggghhhhh?

I must say, you are a very excitable fellow

Do you like to Wrestle?
I like to Wrestle.

We'll have to stop all of that nasty swearing though. This is a True Christian™ area and if you don't mind your language I'll have to serve you up some nasty Infraction Points.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
JennyD's Avatar
JennyD JennyD is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 Saved 1 Year Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Lady

 
Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-18-2008, 06:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
How do you like your Eggs in the Morning Mr Vahhyyrraaaarrrrrgggghhhhh?
His NAME is Mr. Snugglebunny, I'll have you know!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
tLakota's Avatar
tLakota tLakota is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 205
Join Date: Dec 2007
tLakota has bribed people to get these reputation points.tLakota has bribed people to get these reputation points.tLakota has bribed people to get these reputation points.tLakota has bribed people to get these reputation points.tLakota has bribed people to get these reputation points.tLakota has bribed people to get these reputation points.tLakota has bribed people to get these reputation points.tLakota has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-18-2008, 09:31 AM

I don't know why I'm replying to this, but here I am. I'm not a blaspheming whore, so I guess I have to respond.......


Willpower rules the world.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-18-2008, 11:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tLakota View Post
I don't know why I'm replying to this, but here I am. I'm not a blaspheming whore, so I guess I have to respond.......
And yet you haven't......

Why have you returned to haunt our Godly forum? Just to waste Christ's bandwidth?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Vayhr of the Warhost's Avatar
Vayhr of the Warhost Vayhr of the Warhost is offline
Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
Forum Member
 
Posts: 342
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Vayhr of the Warhost is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Vayhr of the Warhost is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-18-2008, 02:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
His NAME is Mr. Snugglebunny, I'll have you know!
AAAGGHHH!!!! I've NEVER snuggled with HER!!!! LIES I TELL YOU!!! LIES!!!!!!

I'm flattered by your interest in me. And like some psycho you've already taken to calling me by a "pet name" even though we've never even meet, but you look alittle frail and fragile by your avatar. I like crazy psycho b!#$%es who post fiery smilies to let all the other ladies know "back off, he's mine" just like any other man, but I'd hate to break you during the baby making process.

Sorry, little lady. I hear there is a little jap kid running around looking for something blonde. I'm sure you could handle him.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-18-2008, 04:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tLakota View Post
I don't know why I'm replying to this, but here I am. I'm not a blaspheming whore, so I guess I have to respond.......
Well, you seem to be willing to unquestioningly obey anything a man tells you to do, no matter how bizarre or idiotic the request is. That's a good sign. You could probably do better than this nutjob.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
JennyD's Avatar
JennyD JennyD is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 Saved 1 Year Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Lady

 
Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 02:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vayhr of the Warhost View Post
AAAGGHHH!!!! I've NEVER snuggled with HER!!!! LIES I TELL YOU!!! LIES!!!!!!

I'm flattered by your interest in me. And like some psycho you've already taken to calling me by a "pet name" even though we've never even meet, but you look alittle frail and fragile by your avatar. I like crazy psycho b!#$%es who post fiery smilies to let all the other ladies know "back off, he's mine" just like any other man, but I'd hate to break you during the baby making process.

Sorry, little lady. I hear there is a little jap kid running around looking for something blonde. I'm sure you could handle him.
No thanks, Snugglebunny. Maybe Hirotchi is more your speed?
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Shirlee Phelps-Dodge Shirlee Phelps-Dodge is offline
True Christian™ Fishwife
 
Posts: 163
Join Date: Dec 2007
Shirlee Phelps-Dodge has bribed people to get these reputation points.Shirlee Phelps-Dodge has bribed people to get these reputation points.Shirlee Phelps-Dodge has bribed people to get these reputation points.Shirlee Phelps-Dodge has bribed people to get these reputation points.Shirlee Phelps-Dodge has bribed people to get these reputation points.Shirlee Phelps-Dodge has bribed people to get these reputation points.Shirlee Phelps-Dodge has bribed people to get these reputation points.Shirlee Phelps-Dodge has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 08:13 AM

What is this UnGodly foolishness?!

Young True Christian women flinging themselves like wanton whores at some impotent, Twinkie-sucking geek pretending to be a MAN online?!

I'm embarassed for both of you, Talitha and Jenny. You have not only embarassed yourselves, like Takalakadingdong, but you've humiliated God by playing the harlot over some useless half-wit who doubtless requires his Mommy to help him tie his shoelaces, if not also wipe his behind!

Stop this at once, or I shall track you down after church Sunday . . . and girlies, I won't be bothering with any wooden spoon! You'll get THE BELT!
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 11:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shirlee Phelps-Dodge View Post
What is this UnGodly foolishness?!
Young True Christian women flinging themselves like wanton whores at some impotent, Twinkie-sucking geek pretending to be a MAN online?!
I'm embarassed for both of you, Talitha and Jenny. You have not only embarassed yourselves, like Takalakadingdong, but you've humiliated God by playing the harlot over some useless half-wit who doubtless requires his Mommy to help him tie his shoelaces, if not also wipe his behind!
Stop this at once, or I shall track you down after church Sunday . . . and girlies, I won't be bothering with any wooden spoon! You'll get THE BELT!
Silence you wrinkled old Fishwife.
Save your energy for kneeling in Church on Sunday.
There are no Harlots within the gates of Freehold.

You are merely envious of our youth.

Proverbs 27: 3-5
A stone is heavy, and the sand weighty; but a fool's wrath is heavier than them both. Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy? Open rebuke is better than secret love.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Vayhr of the Warhost's Avatar
Vayhr of the Warhost Vayhr of the Warhost is offline
Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
Forum Member
 
Posts: 342
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Vayhr of the Warhost is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Vayhr of the Warhost is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 03:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shirlee Phelps-Dodge View Post
What is this UnGodly foolishness?!

Young True Christian women flinging themselves like wanton whores at some impotent, Twinkie-sucking geek pretending to be a MAN online?!

I'm embarassed for both of you, Talitha and Jenny. You have not only embarassed yourselves, like Takalakadingdong, but you've humiliated God by playing the harlot over some useless half-wit who doubtless requires his Mommy to help him tie his shoelaces, if not also wipe his behind!

Stop this at once, or I shall track you down after church Sunday . . . and girlies, I won't be bothering with any wooden spoon! You'll get THE BELT!
SHUT YOUR TRAP YOU OLD HAG BEFORE I TAKE AN IRON TO YOUR WRINKLED HIDE!!!! There is nothing worse than some old fossilized crone trying to force the uselessness and emptiness of her barren uterus and pathetic unlife on the youth of America!!!! I need my mommy to wipe MY ass!?!?!? You old bat, YOU CAN'T EVEN CONTROL YOUR BOWELS OR BLADDER!!!! GAAAGGGHHHH!!! YOU'VE GOT THIS WHOLE THREAD SMELLING LIKE ASPIRIN AND URINE SOILED DIAPERS!!!

DIE ALREADY, YOU OLE HAG!!! DDDIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Hitoshi's Avatar
Hitoshi Hitoshi is offline
Professor of Engrish
 

True Christian Lady Virgin Best stoning bucket Yellow peril

 
Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 03:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shirlee Phelps-Dodge View Post
What is this UnGodly foolishness?!

Young True Christian women flinging themselves like wanton whores at some impotent, Twinkie-sucking geek pretending to be a MAN online?!

I'm embarassed for both of you, Talitha and Jenny. You have not only embarassed yourselves, like Takalakadingdong, but you've humiliated God by playing the harlot over some useless half-wit who doubtless requires his Mommy to help him tie his shoelaces, if not also wipe his behind!

Stop this at once, or I shall track you down after church Sunday . . . and girlies, I won't be bothering with any wooden spoon! You'll get THE BELT!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Silence you wrinkled old Fishwife.
Save your energy for kneeling in Church on Sunday.
There are no Harlots within the gates of Freehold.

You are merely envious of our youth.


Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 03:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi View Post
Why did you just post a picture of your lunch?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Hitoshi's Avatar
Hitoshi Hitoshi is offline
Professor of Engrish
 

True Christian Lady Virgin Best stoning bucket Yellow peril

 
Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.Hitoshi has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 04:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Why did you just post a picture of your lunch?
here is what lunch look like after I am process it


Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
MacDaddy's Avatar
MacDaddy MacDaddy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 48
Join Date: Jan 2008
MacDaddy is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 06:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
His NAME is Mr. Snugglebunny, I'll have you know!
How dare you speak to him in this way JennyD, Pastor Ezekiel has already agreed that you are to be my property. I think it is time to dish out some discipline


- - - - - - - - - - -
Its not fascism if True Christians™ do it
- - - - - - - - - -
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
JennyD's Avatar
JennyD JennyD is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 Saved 1 Year Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Lady

 
Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.JennyD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 07:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MacDaddy View Post
How dare you speak to him in this way JennyD, Pastor Ezekiel has already agreed that you are to be my property. I think it is time to dish out some discipline


Yeah, right after you pay my earthly father fifty shekels.

Good luck finding him. He was last seen in an out-of-control thresher. I suggest you start your search there.


And as for YOU, Shirlee, you mind your own business! Talitha is right, you're just jealous of our youth and beauty, you vicious old crone!

Did you get Mr. Snugglebunny's DOF file? He isn't really some helpless, stoop-shouldered, scrawny little geek boy of 13 with questionable hygiene who lives in Mommy's basement, is he?
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 07:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD View Post

Did you get Mr. Snugglebunny's DOF file? He isn't really some helpless, stoop-shouldered, scrawny little geek boy of 13 with questionable hygiene who lives in Mommy's basement, is he?
Actually Sister Jenny, he's 17....................... but who's counting



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
MacDaddy's Avatar
MacDaddy MacDaddy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 48
Join Date: Jan 2008
MacDaddy is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-19-2008, 08:34 PM

I don't think anyone has mentioned this yet, but I believe there is a perfect girl who meets your description at the following link.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=4318


- - - - - - - - - - -
Its not fascism if True Christians™ do it
- - - - - - - - - -
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-20-2008, 03:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MacDaddy View Post
How dare you speak to him in this way JennyD, Pastor Ezekiel has already agreed that you are to be my property. I think it is time to dish out some discipline
Stop the presses. Exactly when did I say this?

Unsaved trash are not allowed to court True Christian™ ladies. Gracie, however, is still available at a steep discount.

And we are still awaiting your Tithe, heathen.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Vayhr of the Warhost's Avatar
Vayhr of the Warhost Vayhr of the Warhost is offline
Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
Forum Member
 
Posts: 342
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Vayhr of the Warhost is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Vayhr of the Warhost is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! - 01-20-2008, 07:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MacDaddy View Post
I don't think anyone has mentioned this yet, but I believe there is a perfect girl who meets your description at the following link.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=4318
I don't mind a CHUBBY female. I don't even mind a woman other people would generally considered to be FAT... as LONG AS SHE MAINTAINS THE GENERAL CURVATURE AND FEMININITY OF A WOMAN!!!!! YOU KNOW - PRETTY FACE, WIDE HIPS, NARROWER WAIST, THIGHS THICK, CALVES NOT AS THICK, BIG ROUND BUTTOX, NOT FLAT, WIDE, AND BOX SHAPED, ET CETERA!!!!!

That "girl" is more... how do you say, BOVINE!!! Her mass is inapropriately centered in her torso TAKING AWAY ALL SEMBLANCE OF HUMANITY!!!

WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!?!? DON'T YOU DAGOS NORMALLY JUST BUGGER YOUR SISTERS?? OR IS IT YOUR MOTHERS? I CAN NEVER REMEMBER.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
boor, false, masher, molestor, retarded, she-male, wannabe

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved