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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Meet James Hartline! Ex-Gay© Street Preacher an Example for All! - 04-25-2011, 06:25 PM

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Over the years, as Landover Baptist University’s most prominent Ex-Gay© Professor, I have often introduced you to other cured sodomites who are crusaders in the Lord’s battle against the homosexual agenda. Well, today I am going to do something a bit different. I would like to introduce a former friend and former sex partner of mine, James Hartline.




James lives in San Diego, California. This hellhole has been rife with Sodomania for years and years. In my misspent youth as a raging homosexual drug addict, I would occasionally visit San Diego for weekends of nonstop anal sex and methamphetamine abuse. It was there, in the late 1980s, that I first met a young James Hartline.

We were both in the grips of our disease, rutting like truffle hunting pigs in the anuses of any male who would hold still long enough for us to satisfy our unnatural urges. We would cruise the local bathhouses together like drug crazed leopards, pouncing on the tender, sun kissed flesh of any human being without a cooter. I thought I had found a friend for life in James, but I was wrong.

When the Lord showed me that what I was doing was wrong and that faggotry was an abomination, I tried my best to convince James to mend his ways. But he refused and continued to spit in Jesus’ face by being a disgusting fag. God gave James a chance at salvation and he refused. After I went through my extensive Ex-Gay© therapy and was cured, I of course shunned James and his abominable lifestyle choice. And God had something planned for James.

The Lord smote him with the AIDS. After he was diagnosed, he finally gave up the homosexual lifestyle choice. For a time, God will allow him to be a living breathing example of the wrath of the Lord on those who would ignore His unselfish offer of salvation. Now, James wanders the streets of San Diego preaching to squirrels and taking pictures of used condoms and cigarette butts. The AIDS has rotted his brain and he is a broken, shell of a man.

I have not spoken to James in years, and I do not plan to. The Lord has made it plain that James displeased him. And I will honor God’s will and keep myself separate from the wickedness in James that made him be a disgusting, unrepentant queer for two years longer than I was. Praise!


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Default Re: Meet James Hartline! Ex-Gay© Street Preacher an Example for A - 04-26-2011, 05:29 PM

Serves him right!

The Lord can't be giving every single queer second chances, he has to make an example out some of them, or else why would they stop being gay? If there were no consequences, if God didn't punish people for doing wrong, why NOT have gay sex all the time?

If you chose to I mean, not that I ever would, I was just making a point.




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Default Re: Meet James Hartline! Ex-Gay© Street Preacher an Example for A - 04-26-2011, 06:10 PM

Don't take it personally, but I don't really want to meet this James Hairline guy. I'll take your word for it that he's OK, now.


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Default Re: Meet James Hartline! Ex-Gay© Street Preacher an Example for A - 04-26-2011, 11:29 PM

At first, when I first read this, I though it was all sad and stuff and I wondered why GOD didn't just like, strike that GROSS gay guy with lightning or something so he wouldn't have to like, all suffer and stuff.


But then, I remembered that in the BIBLE, GOD totaalllly made his own Son JESUS suffer and get whipped by Jews, and get all bloody, and then get nailed to a cross and get killed.


Then it totaalllly made sense! Just having the AIDS and going crazy before you die is waaaaayyyyyyy better than getting put on a cross in front of everybody, all bloody and stuff. And if you don't want GOD to give you the AIDS, just don't be gay!









Tammi




Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to?
Reverend Jim Osborne can help!




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Default Re: Meet James Hartline! Ex-Gay© Street Preacher an Example for A - 04-28-2011, 03:57 PM

Professor, thank you for a truly inspiring story.

When I think of all the terrible, vile, filthy things you did it just makes me want to vomit. I look at your disgusting life of faggotry and am so happy you no longer play "hide the hot dog" with all the other nancyboys.

Just to think that you where a filthy, disgusting, raving queer and now you're no longer queer is true testement to your redemption.

Where once you aimed the tube steak in every direction, it now points only downward staring at your shoes, or the commode in your home, whichever. Praise Jesus!


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

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Default Re: Meet James Hartline! Ex-Gay© Street Preacher an Example for A - 04-29-2011, 01:58 AM

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Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
Professor, thank you for a truly inspiring story.

When I think of all the terrible, vile, filthy things you did it just makes me want to vomit. I look at your disgusting life of faggotry and am so happy you no longer play "hide the hot dog" with all the other nancyboys.

Just to think that you where a filthy, disgusting, raving queer and now you're no longer queer is true testement to your redemption.

Where once you aimed the tube steak in every direction, it now points only downward staring at your shoes, or the commode in your home, whichever. Praise Jesus!
You are welcome Brother. I praise God every single day for delivering me from my life of unnatural debauchery. And the fact that someone who was as abominably infected with the Sodomania as I was could be cured as completely and utterly as I was is yet another testament to the power of our sweet and merciful Lord. Praise Him!

As to the direction that my penis points, if you will recall, I lost the majority of my genitalia to a necrotizing fasciitis infection that I contracted after one of my elective aversion surgeries during my Ex-Gay© treatment. But you are correct, my surgically created excretory protuberance always limply dangles in my now 100% heterosexual crotch. Glory!


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Default Re: Meet James Hartline! Ex-Gay© Street Preacher an Example for A - 04-29-2011, 04:08 AM

Professor Gossamer, thank you for sharing this heartwarming story of God's Unconditional Love!


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Meet James Hartline! Ex-Gay© Street Preacher an Example for A - 04-29-2011, 12:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer View Post

As to the direction that my penis points, if you will recall, I lost the majority of my genitalia to a necrotizing fasciitis infection that I contracted after one of my elective aversion surgeries during my Ex-Gay© treatment. But you are correct, my surgically created excretory protuberance always limply dangles in my now 100% heterosexual crotch. Glory!
I'd forgotten you surgery, please forgive me.

I have to say that "Big Willy" never had to go through the shortening process and, for that, I sometimes have regrets. For instance, just the other day I saw a picture of the wanton harlot, Helen Mirren, in her disgustingly small swimsuit and only my judicial robe kept me from making a spectacle of myself in open court. It was all quite uncomfortable.

Perhaps you can give me the name of your surgeon. I'll have to find out if the procedure is purely cosmetic or if I have to first turn into a disgusting queer before it can be done.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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