[SavedbyChrist]

So it's come to my attention that Roman Catholicism isn't actually Christian! And I really want to be a good Christian, so I'm here for help and guidance; this seems like the right place to do it

I've been raised Catholic from birth, which is where I came to know Jesus, but looks like I've got some work to do!

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

So it's come to my attention that Roman Catholicism isn't actually Christian! And I really want to be a good Christian, so I'm here for help and guidance; this seems like the right place to do it

I've been raised Catholic from birth, which is where I came to know Jesus, but looks like I've got some work to do!

Well, hello there, and to our Godly forum!

As for guidance, there is just one thing that you should do:
read the Holy Bible and follow it to the letter! it really is that simple!

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

looks like I've got some work to do!

Well I was reading in your other post that your Father is a Doctor and disciplines your Mother with a whip? This is a good start as discipline is vital to loving Jesus.
Can I ask what sort of Doctor your Father is. I hope he isn't Mexican. You mentioned Mexican. Did he treat you like a Pinata when you misbehaved? I hope so, again, discipline is vital to loving Jesus. Is your father responsible for the slight retardation you said you suffer from? How does he tie you at night? Is his treatment for retardation conventional? We have a Snake man here, perhaps he can help you?
You also mentioned that you were an old maid. Have you married? Do you have any children? Any daughters? How old are your daughters? My wife inconveniently died last week, dead as door nails, cold as a Popsicle, and my washing is piling up so high I could almost reach Jesus. Is your daughter intact?

Again, I welcome you. Warmly (I think)

Brother BAW

[SavedbyChrist]

Originally Posted by Back against wall

Well I was reading in your other post that your Father is a Doctor and disciplines your Mother with a whip? This is a good start as discipline is vital to loving Jesus.
Can I ask what sort of Doctor your Father is. I hope he isn't Mexican. You mentioned Mexican. Did he treat you like a Pinata when you misbehaved? I hope so, again, discipline is vital to loving Jesus. Is your father responsible for the slight retardation you said you suffer from? How does he tie you at night? Is his treatment for retardation conventional? We have a Snake man here, perhaps he can help you?
You also mentioned that you were an old maid. Have you married? Do you have any children? Any daughters? How old are your daughters? My wife inconveniently died last week, dead as door nails, cold as a Popsicle, and my washing is piling up so high I could almost reach Jesus. Is your daughter intact?

Again, I welcome you. Warmly (I think)

Brother BAW

I never said he whips her, no! He'd never beat me, my mother, or anyone! Both my parents are Mexican. I never said I suffer from any disabilities, and I don't. Please don't put words in my mouth.

I'm not an old maid. I'm 22 and have been in a loving straight relationship for almost two years. We're not married (although we plan to once we're done with college; also we don't live together) and have no children. Regardless, them being "intact" is not something I feel comfortable answering.

I'm so sorry for your loss, by the way.

I have a high IQ, in case you're wondering, 125 (the average is 80).

[SavedbyChrist]

Edit: Also what's a Snake Man?

[SavedbyChrist]

Too bad you have to do your own laundry now though, must be nice for your wife to finally get a break from your Nazi-sympathizing mug. It sounds like you don't even know how to do it; you can't even drive down to a laundromat?

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

I never said he whips her, no! He'd never beat me, my mother, or anyone!

OH dear, is he limp? What would prevent a man from being able to discipline his women properly is something I don't think I want to know

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

Please don't put words in my mouth.

Young Lady I don't think I would put anything into your mouth. 22? I hope I didn't lead you to think otherwise.

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

I never said I suffer from any disabilities

Where I come from being Roman Catlick is a form of retardation.

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

something I feel comfortable answering

You can't have any secrets from God, child, He knows everything.

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

I'm so sorry for your loss, by the way.

Yes, thank you, it's very inconvenient. I don't know where she put the can opener. I would Pray for it but she might hear and the nagging would be horrific.

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

I have a high IQ, in case you're wondering, 125 (the average is 80)

You need not feel inadequate about that. Many retarded Messycans have low IQ's and after all you are a Woman so nobody will judge you here, for that anyway. Also, you must remember:

Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.

This goes 10 fold for Women. But it looks like you're safe.

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

Also what's a Snake Man?

Herman Periwinkle

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

you can't even drive down to a laundromat?

Why would I want to do Women's work? I have my Abo's to do that now. When I can spare them. You are a very strange maid.


Bye, Love you (partially)

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

I never said he whips her, no! He'd never beat me, my mother, or anyone!

And that's why Catholics aren't Christians, dear. If your father has ever read the Holy Bible he would have known that corporal punishment is what Jesus wants:

Proverbs 13:24 - He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 22:15 - Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14
13 Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 29:15 - The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame.

I hope that was helpful.

[SavedbyChrist]

Originally Posted by Back against wall

OH dear, is he limp? What would prevent a man from being able to discipline his women properly is something I don't think I want to know

Young Lady I am truly flattered as you seem kind of a nice old maid but as you are way past your prime and living in sin, I don't think I would put anything into your mouth. I hope I didn't lead you to think otherwise.

How is 22 old? Are you some kind of pedophile? I'm glad this is online because I don't want any part of you anywhere near my mouth. I hope I didn't make you think I would actually lick your ***vulgarities removed***.

You can't have any secrets from God, child, He knows everything.

I know that, but you're not God. Therefore I don't need to tell you anything. God can know whatever He wants about me, I don't have anything to from Him. But sure I'll humor you: I'm engaged, I've had plenty of ***more vulgarities removed*** with my fiance and only him, but my ***more and more potty language*** is intact because I know it's meant to be stretched instead of ripped. Too bad you don't have access to a ***rude references to female anatomy*** anymore, but then again I don't think even know where they are.

Yes, thank you, it's very inconvenient. I don't know where she put the can opener. I would Pray for it but she might hear and the nagging would be horrific.

Or you could just look for it. For as high and mighty as you act, you sound pretty useless without your poor wife.

You need not feel inadequate about that. Many retarded Messycans have low IQ's and after all you are a Woman so nobody will judge yo here, for that anyway. Also, you must remember:

Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.

This goes 10 fold for Women.

125 is a near-genius IQ, didn't you know that? White people are so stubborn. They think ridiculous things like their hands can become pregnant from masturbating, but God forbid a Mexican woman be smarter than you.

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

*** FOUL POTTYMOUTH WHORE TEXT REMOVED **
125 is a near-genius IQ, didn't you know that?

What a slutty pile of verbal diarrhea that was.
I am afraid 125 IQ wont get you far in here dear maid. Near is not good enough. Perhaps you could be forgiven as you have not had the time to familiarize yourself with the Distinctive Scholars we have here. Having said that, after reading that tale of whores you wrote, I do believe you came here looking for Porn. Sorry, out of luck.

Your insane rant reminds me of a verse I like:
Proverbs 23:27 For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.

[Back against wall]

Now. How is it we can help you escape your Limp Roman Catlic Father and find Jesus?

[SavedbyChrist]

Originally Posted by Back against wall

What a slutty pile of verbal diarrhea that was.
I am afraid 125 IQ wont get you far in here dear maid. Near is not good enough. Perhaps you could be forgiven as you have not had the time to familiarize yourself with the Distinctive Scholars we have here. Having said that, after reading that tale of whores you wrote, I do believe you came here looking for Porn. Sorry, out of luck.

Why would I come to a Baptist forum looking for porn. I don't even like porn!

"Near is not good enough." "Distinctive Scholars." You all believe the earth is flat.

I'm the smartest whore here, pally. Jeez, how do single men even survive in your world? Since your wife is gone, you're unmarried, how do you cope? Microwaving pizza rolls? Or is that women's work too, so you just eat cereal out of the box? Can't wait till your house gets condemned for being so filthy because you're too darn sexist to lift a finger.

Originally Posted by Back against wall

Now. How is it we can help you escape your Limp Roman Catlic Father and find Jesus?

Well, you got half your wish; I'm leaving Catholicism. Hell, I'm leaving religion! I don't want to associate myself with human trash like you. I hope your laundry buries you or that you finally decide to wash something, I hope you at least bathe. Of course, in the Middle Ages, Christians believed bathing was a sin, so I don't know about you.

Balissa, however, thank you for being and courteous, even though I respectfully disagree with your beliefs. You're polite and friendly, thank you for that. I am sad though that you're fine with your husband potentially beating you for "discipline's" sake.

I'm lucky my boyfriend doesn't use violence to keep me "in line," mostly because I don't need it! I don't do anything wrong by disagreeing with little things, or not doing things he should be able to do like cooking and cleaning.

God didn't write the Bible, people inspired by the Holy Spirit wrote the Bible--in a way that made sense for their times. Fundamentalist Catholics need to evolve past this as Christian teaching and Bible interpretation needs to evolve past the 1st century. Oh but wait, evolution doesn't exist! Silly me.

Weird that the site censors my "rude references to female anatomy"; I used literally the most objective terms by referring to them by their actual names. I wonder if I'd get censored if I start speaking in Spanish, porque el gente aqui tan odian mexicanos, y por que? Por que nosotros estamos "tomiendo" su pais? Por favor, nunca estabalo su pais! Callate, gente blanco.

"Why would I want to do Women's work? I have my Abo's to do that now. When I can spare them. You are a very strange maid."

I almost don't want to ask what "Abo" means. I'm not a maid. I'm a college student, about to graduate.

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

** something about pizza rolls **

Sorry to burst your bubble young self proclaimed "smartest whore here" what ever that achieves a person. I retired at 48, I am what people tell me, wealthy and have no need for the Messycan delicacy cereal.

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

I'm lucky my boyfriend doesn't use violence to keep me "in line," mostly because I don't need it!

I do believe Niggeros are too busy beating each other to be beating a Messycan. They have some cruel obsession with wanting to wipe their own Heathen Race out.

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

I almost don't want to ask what "Abo" means. I'm not a maid. I'm a college student, about to graduate.

An "Abo" is your equivalent to a "Niggero" here. Built for labor. You know. Abo? "Boomerang" "Didgeridoo" The Black natives that do the Niggers work .. NIGGERO

You said you were intelligent.

Are you related to that Heathen team Cheeky & Chongo? You're a Comedian? Not a very good one really, are you.

[Back against wall]

Now. Are we going to discuss your Salvation or are we just going to sit around all night getting to know each other? It's 3am here, I have a headache. I am nodding off but you're like 50 shades of insane. You're like a Train wreck. I can't look away.

I know quite enough about you, I dare not know anything else.

So, your Salvation? Lets do that.

[Alvin Moss]

Welcome then, friend. You seem to be angry. Please do calm down and let's get to the meat of the issue. You have rejected the Roman Church and that is a good start, but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. Do not reject Jesus. Rather, reject the false Jesus of your youth. Also, please remember that strong language is never welcome.

Your focus must be entirely on your salvation. Only through a personal relationship with Jesus will you eventually ascend to Heaven to be with the Lord God and Jesus for eternity. Our mission here is to guide you to Jesus, that you may be saved and avoid the searing flames and everlasting pain of Hell.

God Bless!

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

I'm the smartest whore here, pally.

If you say so...

I hope you at least bathe. Of course, in the Middle Ages, Christians believed bathing was a sin, so I don't know about you.

You're actually thinking about Renaissance, dear. (FYI: this is why perfumes were invented).

Balissa, however, thank you for being and courteous, even though I respectfully disagree with your beliefs. You're polite and friendly, thank you for that. I am sad though that you're fine with your husband potentially beating you for "discipline's" sake.

Being a Christian is not about what "I" want. It's all about what God wants, and that is all spelled out in the Bible.

I wonder if I'd get censored if I start speaking in Spanish, porque el la gente aquí tan odian tanto a los mexicanos, y ¿por qué? ¿Por qué nosotros estamos "tomiendo" (I'm not sure what verb were you trying to use here, were you thinking about "tomando" or "temiendo?") su pais? Por favor, ¡nunca estabalo (not a word) su pais! Callate, gente blancoa.

Could I offer a friendly hint: when writing in another language, please make sure you actually know that language!

I almost don't want to ask what "Abo" means. I'm not a maid. I'm a college student, about to graduate.

Maybe you should take some Spanish before you graduate?

[SavedbyChrist]

Originally Posted by Back against wall

Sorry to burst your bubble young self proclaimed "smartest whore here" what ever that achieves a person. I retired at 48, I am what people tell me, wealthy and have no need for the Messycan delicacy cereal.

Pizza rolls... They're a microwave snack from the US... Like tiny Hot Pockets, also from the US...

I do believe Niggeros are too busy beating each other to be beating a Messycan. They have some cruel obsession with wanting to wipe their own Heathen Race out.

My boyfriend is white, your assumptions are wrong.

An "Abo" is your equivalent to a "Niggero" here. Built for labor. You know. Abo? "Boomerang" "Didgeridoo" The Black natives that do the Niggers work .. NIGGERO[/QUOTE]

You guys do realize that Jesus was from the Middle East, right? Israel, which is right near Palestine and the like? He wasn't white, Mary wasn't white. Nobody in the Bible was white. They only appear white in artwork because Europeans at the time thought a white Jesus was better/more sacred than the actual Jesus.

"Now. Are we going to discuss your Salvation or are we just going to sit around all night getting to know each other? It's 3am here, I have a headache. I am nodding off but you're like 50 shades of insane. You're like a Train wreck. I can't look away."

It's 1:30pm here, so I'm wide awake.

[SavedbyChrist]

Originally Posted by Basilissa

You're actually thinking about Renaissance, dear. (FYI: this is why perfumes were invented).

Ah shoot. But yes, perfume! Because bathing was a sin! So they covered up the smell with perfume, and spring weddings were common because flowers also covered the smell.

Could I offer a friendly hint: when writing in another language, please make sure you actually know what you're writing!

Maybe you should take some Spanish before you graduate?

Whoa I gotta be honest, I was not expecting that. (Shoot, I knew it was tomando!) Spanish is my second language and I'm rusty. I'm better at reading it than anything.

No wait, I just looked again. Yeah, some of it was wrong, other things--like the lack of upside-down question mark--are just because I can't type them on the computer. I know where accents go and everything. Oops, also I meant "porque nosotros" instead of "por que nosotros," my bad. I meant "estaba lo" and I don't know why you "corrected" nunca or even what you did?

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

You guys do realize that Jesus was from the Middle East, right? Israel, which is right near Palestine and the like? He wasn't white, Mary wasn't white. Nobody in the Bible was white.

Revelation 1:14 His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;

Also, if you have actually read the Bible you would have known that desciptions of beautiful people include things like "ruddy" cheeks and "fair" complexion. For example:

1 Samuel 17:42 And when the Philistine looked about, and saw David, he disdained him: for he was but a youth, and ruddy, and of a fair countenance.

So yeah, the beautiful people in the Bible were white.

Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist

Ah shoot. But yes, perfume! Because bathing was a sin! So they covered up the smell with perfume, and spring weddings were common because flowers also covered the smell.

Could you give me an academic reference to the sin part? From my understanding, they just believed bathing to be... unhealthy.

I think this is why Enlightenment produced so many grumpy old men. I mean, dealing with all that smell and all of the fauna hiding in their wigs must have been such a painful experience!

(Shoot, I knew it was tomando!)

Either way, there should be an "a" after the verb.

No wait, I just looked again. Yeah, some of it was wrong, other things--like the lack of upside-down question mark--are just because I can't type them on the computer. I know where accents go and everything.

And I should trust that you really know all that because...? (BTW, they are called "special characters" and you can easily insert them on any computer. Or, you could set up your keyboard to more than one language).

Oops, also I meant "porque nosotros" instead of "por que nosotros," my bad. I meant "estaba lo"

I thought about that, but it still makes no grammatical sense. Were you trying to say "estaba en"?

and I don't know why you "corrected" nunca or even what you did?

Well, you see, the Messicans have this very weird custom of marking the exclamation not only at the end of a sentence like normal people do, but also at the beginning, like this ¡Hola!

You're welcome, dear.

[James Hutchins]

Welcome friend! I applaud your desire to service God and toss your multi-idol false Christian ways aside like a used Menstra-Rag©.
I am saddened to hear ou are 22 and no man has accepted you for child bearing. Nine years of you life, completely wasted. Think of all the unborn babies that had to die in your womb, their screams muffled by the layers of fat that were supposed to support the child's early parts of life that only God can bestow.
Are you ready to take Jesus as your one True Love™ and have Him embrace you with His turgid gifts?