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  • #1

    How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

    This guide might be helpful for our missionary brothers who are preparing for a mission to Communist China:
    Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes


    That's not right...
    Sum Ting Wong

    Are you harboring a fugitive?...
    Hu Yu Hai Ding?

    See me ASAP...
    Kum Hia Nao

    Stupid Man...
    Dum Gai

    Small Horse...
    Tai Ni Po Ni

    Did you go to the beach?...
    Wai Yu So Tan?

    I bumped into a coffee table...
    Ai Bang Mai Ni

    I think you need a face lift...
    Chin Tu Fat

    It's very dark in here...
    Wai So Dim?

    I thought you were on a diet...
    Wai Yu Mun Ching?

    This is a tow away zone...
    No Pah King

    Our meeting is scheduled for next week...
    Wai Yu Kum Nao?

    Staying out of sight...
    Lei Ying Lo

    He's cleaning his automobile...
    Wa Shing Ka

    Your body odor is offensive...
    Yu Stin Ki Pu
    All you have to do is really listen to what they're saying. It's kind of like a song. If you can figure it out then it's really easy.
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
    Tags: asia, china, chinks japs and gooks
  • #2
    Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

    This is interesting, but I don't think I'll ever need to say those particular things. We should have threads with translations of things likely to be said to Chinese people (or the language of whatever place we plan to evangelize).

    Some terms I'd like to have translated to Chinese:

    "If the pork turns out to be cat I'll re-arrange the furnature to cast a spell on you!"

    "Either bring me a knife and fork or I'll shove these heathen chocksticks up your slanted yellow urethra"

    "No, I don't want to smoke opium with you."

    "As an American, I saved your butt during World Wars one and two!"

    "Of course your ancestors built the railway - you guys can't learn to drive!"

    "No, I don't want to be loved a long time, but if you step into my giant self-propelled rickshaw I can tell you about Jesus."

    "If you buy sunglasses, you won't have to squint all the time".

    "Americans invented everything. EVERYTHING!"

    "Christian heaven has all the cat you can eat and the opium smokes itself for you".

    "Fine, you can love me a short time, but only if you'll let me witness to you some more".
    Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

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    Comment

    • #3
      Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

      I only know one phrase in chink
      Tu muk sta chee
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

        I speak the chinese quite well: Herro! Cheng-gong dingdong, pwee?
        How "My Little Pony" Turns Men Gay Through Subliminal Mind Control
        The Tyrannosaurus Rex: A Creationist Perspective
        How Newton's Laws PROVE God's Existence
        God HATES Carbon Dating

        2nd Timothy 6:20-21 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

          I learned to speak all the slope gibberish years ago.

          I advise folks to spend their time studying the Holy Bible, not slant talk.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

            ..This is so racist.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

              Originally posted by alexander_st View Post
              ..This is so racist.
              I agree.
              The way these slants completely ignore speaking God's own American is just beyond belief.

              Sister Talitha

              Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


              HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
              being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


              Comment

              • #8
                Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

                Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                I only know one phrase in chink
                Tu muk sta chee
                I have one for you.
                Yu Ara Fu King Re Ed Neck

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

                  Thank you so much for this! Now I can impress the other teachers at the school - make friends in no time!

                  (Which sure speeds up the process of converting them )

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

                    Originally posted by Beyondthesmegma View Post
                    I have one for you.
                    Yu Ara Fu King Re Ed Neck
                    That is not chink. They cannot say the letter "R"! It should be:
                    Yu Ala Fu King Le ed Ne eck

                    You retards are so funny with your diction errors.
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

                      Originally posted by Beyondthesmegma View Post
                      I have one for you.
                      Yu Ara Fu King Re Ed Neck
                      A young person in my congregation pointed this out to me. She says it is Mark 6:11 in Chinese.

                      I'm told this should be very easy to understand for a master of Asian languages like yourself.



                      Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                      That is not chink. They cannot say the letter "R"!
                      You make a good point, Brother. I'd heard that the Chinese can't get their tongues round their Rs.
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: How to learn Chinese in about five minutes:

                        Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                        A young person in my congregation pointed this out to me. She says it is Mark 6:11 in Chinese.

                        Sadly, you were misled. It's Cantonese and it says "Buy three egg rolls, get one free. Eat-in only."
                        "Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).

                        Comment

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