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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-09-2014, 10:05 AM
I'm sorry to say our dusky would-be deacon is quite delusional. I'm looking into whether there are any good Christian mental health professionals in his area.
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Descended from Rapes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,548
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-09-2014, 02:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
I'm sorry to say our dusky would-be deacon is quite delusional. I'm looking into whether there are any good Christian mental health professionals in his area.
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The dusky wannabe does prove a point. If we cut compensation for our pastors all of the talented (white) pastors will move elsewhere. Mess with the compensation and we will soon see a new pastor riding around town in a low rider blasting a horn that plays lacoocaracha! There are already enough Mexicans (and Philipinos) working as grounds keepers around the pastors house. If we could provide more money he might be able to hire grown white men as pool boys, as it is he can only afford hairless boys!
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-09-2014, 09:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
G]
What I'm thinking is it would probably be pretty painless for him if, when the lease is up on his current Caddy, which costs $500 per month, we were to trade it in on something like a Ford Fusion Hybrid...
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A FOCUS??? Those are made by UNION MEMBERS!!!
Say the word Zeke and I can be on the next flight to California with a roll of piano wire for this hippy freak and his commie eco mobile. This civi will never know what will hit him.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-09-2014, 10:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bishop polisher
I'll be happy to be deacon for the low price of $250,000/ year.
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Trying to undercut another's wages in pure racism and there is no room for racism at Landover friend
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-09-2014, 11:28 PM
All this talk of the Pastor's package is really quite abhorrent.
This is a man of GOD who spends his life leading sinners to CHRIST, and you're concerned that we are doing too much for him?
I have ridden with the Pastor on many occasions in his Escalade on our way to minister at various hotbeds of iniquity, and I can promise you that there is simply no way you could fit four Latino go go boys into a Ford Focus and still have room for men of GOD and their Bibles.
The Escalade is ESSENTIAL to this church's ministry.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-10-2014, 03:28 AM
Which reminds me, I've taken the liberty of ordering a couple of new suits, for special occasions.
You can't expect me to Preach in rags.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,765
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-10-2014, 05:24 AM
When you add up his books, pamphlets, sermons, pastoral advice, and web ministry through our forums, even at an all-in compensation package of $15 million or so per year, Pastor Ezekiel is only earning around $0.07 per word.
Anyway, how can one put a price on a first class salvation? To paraphrase Jesus when He was attacked for being rubbed in expensive oil instead of giving the value to the poor, the poor will always be with us, but Pastor Zeke will not be with us always. I'd hate for us to lose him to the 700 Club or Joel Osteen's church just because God has blessed Pastor Zeke with a modest income. Landover just wouldn't be Landover without him.
Besides, he knows too much. About Jesus.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-10-2014, 06:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles
I think people need to calm down somewhat here and think about what is important here.
That's right: getting the message of Jesus out to the world in it's literal form. To do this one as to have confidence in the speaker.
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Of course, this is what it's all about.
We within Landover have to show that our little church in Freehold is the best church IN THE WORLD....and that means First Class all the way. We are the best - - why not show it?
But I think I can shed some light on why the church accountings are difficult to understand for outsiders. It's because all of us within the church offices pitch in and do the books, as time allows. And there's so many different accounts, with all of us having access cards to most of them...that until till we all meet up at the biennial business meeting, the Good Lord™ Himself only knows what's being put in or being taken out at any given time.
We're a victim of our own success!
(Also, Brother Free Market Fred was acting as the church's "investment officer liason" for a time, which created a lot of overseas accounts we're still finding out about. PRAISE!)
Sometimes when it's my turn with the bank files and dusty boxes of chits and IOUs, they're just so confusing I'll just throw them in a drawer or a closet. But they always come spilling out from somewhere, in the end... that's the miracle!
Last edited by Pim Pendergast; 07-11-2014 at 09:57 AM.
Reason: Clerical revision
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-10-2014, 06:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
A FOCUS??? Those are made by UNION MEMBERS!!!
Say the word Zeke and I can be on the next flight to California with a roll of piano wire for this hippy freak and his commie eco mobile. This civi will never know what will hit him.
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Friend, I'm sure you didn't mean for that to sound like a death threat. Perhaps you should ask a moderator to edit your post so people don't get the wrong idea.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Tin Tither
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Posts: 234
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: pastors garage
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-10-2014, 12:11 PM
Pastor Ezekal is a holy man of God i am proud to tithe to support what ever he needs he told me hed' pray for me to get a second job so i could tithe more thats' how much he loves the people in his church and on top of that i know how much a nice car matters cause i use to be his shoffer (sp?) before that little miss understanding i took real good care of him and important visitors in that eslcade.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-10-2014, 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Friend, I'm sure you didn't mean for that to sound like a death threat. Perhaps you should ask a moderator to edit your post so people don't get the wrong idea.
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Oh that was no death threat Faith,..
you union loving roster lover
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-10-2014, 04:43 PM
I hope none of you Judases have a problem with the pastor's parking privileges, either.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-10-2014, 07:09 PM
I hope our kind and generous congregation takes into mind that when we do finally marry, Pastor Zeke said I will need my own entire wing on his house. He said he doesn't want me meddling in his business. I'm sure that means his prayer sessions with impressionable young men, etc. - or even that damn mean old she bear in his basement.
Please say a prayer for us! And, please try to think about being a tad more generous!
BLESSINGS!
Sister Thumper
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-12-2014, 04:39 PM
Oh, poor, dear Sister Daisy:
Sometimes I think the chandelier is missing a few bulbs, hon. Bless your heart.
While I am sure that one day - perhaps when you're 90 or so - Ol' Zeke will come to call with a ring in his hand, I wouldn't be ordering the flowers just yet.
You know there are just tons of eligible titanium tithers in the congregation, sweetheart. Why not wake up and smell the Folgers?
Praying,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-12-2014, 04:44 PM
Bobby Joe,
I'm concerned about Sister Slingfish. Her car is still in the lot from Wednesday's prayer meeting. I recall a group of us were gathered discussing Ezekiel's package when Sister Slingfish said something about how she thought a Toyota Tercel would be good enough for a man of God. Sister Cookie shrieked, I turned around and Sister Slingfish was no where to be found. Maybe someone offered her a ride home? I know she was having trouble with her transmission.
Maybe I'll run down to her house a bit later.
Thanks Bobby!
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-12-2014, 06:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
Bobby Joe,
I'm concerned about Sister Slingfish. Her car is still in the lot from Wednesday's prayer meeting. I recall a group of us were gathered discussing Ezekiel's package when Sister Slingfish said something about how she thought a Toyota Tercel would be good enough for a man of God. Sister Cookie shrieked, I turned around and Sister Slingfish was no where to be found. Maybe someone offered her a ride home? I know she was having trouble with her transmission.
Maybe I'll run down to her house a bit later.
Thanks Bobby!
NRL
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Sister Naomi,
We have our top people looking on but, but going by past experience with people like Sister Slingfish may have killed herself. I have seen it dozens of times were they end up so overcome with remorse they will start drinking and end up wandering naked and drunk out on I-5 only to get hit by a semi going 70.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-12-2014, 07:06 PM
Bobby-Joe, while you're here, there's a forum member in Finland with a possible security issue re some gold bar with a bird on it. We may be able to lend a hand, right? He seems keen to accept our help.
(Probably wouldn't do Pastor Zeke's cash-flow any problems, either.)
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-12-2014, 10:40 PM
There seem to be a number of concerns, broadly security related as might be expected in an entitlement culture such as would be promoted in the USSA, and I have always found my contact with members of the congregation in the East to be satisfactory in that respect.
They have these quaint laws, at least in some places, where one must sound the horn before moving and although cacophonous does provide for road safety. With universal health care however, since there is no impediment to visiting a hospital for the merest trifle and demanding a private room, why not drive like a maniac? This is not a million miles from what Jojo Stalin tried to do..
But I am raving. My suggestion was to see if there's an alternative source for appropriate transport. I've always been happy with English vehicles and know there are some very favourable deals available in Shanghai just now, so I've sent a note and (maybe) there'll be some light in this dark moment for us all
II Peter 1:19 We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts: KJV
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-12-2014, 10:58 PM
I don't get it. It almost sounds like "Guys, Jesus is too expensive for us, let's settle for Manuel, the organic gardener, instead."
You should be ashamed of yourselves (you know who you are!).
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). -
07-13-2014, 12:10 AM
As a Republican, I believe in fiscal responsibility. How can we advocate for an end to deficit spending in government if we're not able to set a good example in our own church?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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