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Default Random guy from the internet wants money from me or he tells God I am gay - 04-21-2017, 09:54 PM

I am not gay but this horrible guy just send me a message. Either I pay him or he will tell God I am gay so God sends me to hell. What does the Bible say about this can one person really tell God bad stuff about me? And how do I know God doesn't at least now has a little bit of worry about this even thought he knows I'm not gay.
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Default Re: Random guy from the internet wants money from me or he tells God I am gay - 04-21-2017, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
I am not gay but this horrible guy just send me a message. Either I pay him or he will tell God I am gay so God sends me to hell. What does the Bible say about this can one person really tell God bad stuff about me? And how do I know God doesn't at least now has a little bit of worry about this even thought he knows I'm not gay.

Titus, my Brother,


Jeremiah 1:5 tells us that God knew us even before He placed you in your mother's naughty private place. He knew the very sperm cell that carried you to unite with the egg, resulting in the miracle of life seconds later. I can picture Jesus surfing along, making sure that the other spermatozins were dying off or missing the mark, and then pushing you inside the egg at just the right moment. Now, do you think if He knew you back then, that He would not know you completely today?


Rest your weary soul, my dear friend. Just as you can't walk into a courtroom and accuse someone falsely and expect to prevail, it is much more difficult to convince God of something since He knows everything. I am aware of many things relative to the homer "problem" through my brave ministry to them not only in South America, but in many of the homer establishments in Godless New York City, where I try to bring men to their knees on an almost daily basis. (PRAISE GOD, I am usually successful!)


I can therefore tell through your spirit communing with mine that you are most certainly not a homer. HAVE FAITH IN GOD! He knows your heart (Psalm 44:21) (Acts 15:8) and has made you His Child. He isn't going to be fooled by some idiot you talked to in some gay chat room. So relax. We'll be throwing our crowns at Jesus feet one day soon (Revelation 4:10-11)


Your Fellow Servant of Jesus,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Random guy from the internet wants money from me or he tells God I am gay - 04-21-2017, 11:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
I am not gay but this horrible guy just send me a message. Either I pay him or he will tell God I am gay so God sends me to hell. What does the Bible say about this can one person really tell God bad stuff about me? And how do I know God doesn't at least now has a little bit of worry about this even thought he knows I'm not gay.
If he tries to tell God anything about you, you should just tell God something about him.


Our own president knows that all the nonsense about his ties to Russia is not nearly as critical as Hillary Clinton's hand off of our Godly-supplied uranium to some other country.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: Random guy from the internet wants money from me or he tells God I am gay - 04-22-2017, 12:02 AM

Brother Titus--I agree this is unfair and that blackmail is a terrible thing.

But, let's think this through. What is he demanding, $10 or a million dollars? If you were guilty, avoiding hell certainly is worth $10. For $10 you might save yourself having to explain complicated matters with God. Avoiding problems with God is important, even if justice in a worldly sense is not served.

No matter the circumstances, God does not want to hear that his True Christians™ sin.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Random guy from the internet wants money from me or he tells God I am gay - 04-22-2017, 06:26 AM

Once I faced a similar issue. My distant rural neighbor overheard my fears of the homosexual race and attempted to take advantage of this weakness, before I was empowered with the protective forces of the Christ. Thank heavens he stumbled into a bear pit and was impaled to death. Whenever misfortune befalls my enemies I attribute it to the will of my creator to destroy homosexuals. I strongly suspect that anyone the Lord would damn has the gay impulse which confounds conscience and delicately teases the semen from within us gently into the rectum of our fellow man.

I cannot bear to imagine what misdeeds are perpetrated between consenting, nubile, ample, male adults. God has made clear:

Leviticus 20:13King James Version (KJV)

13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.




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Default Re: Random guy from the internet wants money from me or he tells God I am gay - 04-26-2017, 01:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Once I faced a similar issue. My distant rural neighbor overheard my fears of the homosexual race and attempted to take advantage of this weakness, before I was empowered with the protective forces of the Christ. Thank heavens he stumbled into a bear pit and was impaled to death. Whenever misfortune befalls my enemies I attribute it to the will of my creator to destroy homosexuals. I strongly suspect that anyone the Lord would damn has the gay impulse which confounds conscience and delicately teases the semen from within us gently into the rectum of our fellow man.

I cannot bear to imagine what misdeeds are perpetrated between consenting, nubile, ample, male adults. God has made clear:

Leviticus 20:13King James Version (KJV)

13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.


So are you saying, if a Bear didn't eat your neighbour you and him would have had gay anal penetration sex.
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Default Re: Random guy from the internet wants money from me or he tells God I am gay - 04-26-2017, 01:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm on crack View Post
So are you saying, if a Bear didn't eat your neighbour you and him would have had gay anal penetration sex.


No. Mr. Jenkins was hypothetically speaking that maybe he could have been taken advantage of. Yuge difference.
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Default Re: Random guy from the internet wants money from me or he tells God I am gay - 04-26-2017, 01:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
. . . My distant rural neighbor overheard my fears of the homosexual race and attempted to take advantage of this weakness,.. . . Thank heavens he stumbled into a bear pit and was impaled to death. Whenever misfortune befalls my enemies I attribute it to the will of my creator . . . God has made clear:

Leviticus 20:13King James Version (KJV)

13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.


Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm on crack View Post
So are you saying, if a Bear didn't eat your neighbour you and him would have had gay anal penetration sex.
What Brother Jenkins actually wrote is that his neighbor fell into a bear pit and was impaled to death. It's right there, displayed on the screen in black and white, in his original post.


If you care to read a narrative in which bears actually kill people, feel free to look up 2 Kings 2:24.


It's very important to read closely and carefully before you comment on something. Needless to say, being on crack makes this particularly difficult.


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