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Default ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-25-2007, 05:56 PM

Hello my friends at Landover Baptist Church and peace be upon you all.
It is a long time since I was last here and much has happened after I was released from your Freehold Detention Center.
My Cousins escorted me back to Pakistan where I have been cleansed of my wish to become a Christian American.

Thankfully I have seen the light and I am back with my one True God (piss be upon him).
I have found your Christian Faith to be too barbaric compared to the Peace that is Islam and as you will see from my IP Address I am presently still in Pakistan where I am helping with certain Internal Affairs.

I shall soon be returning to America where I plan to use my family money to open a Mosque for the many Muslim people who reside in Iowa. We shall from there pass out the Merciful word of Allah. (piss be upon him) to many American people.


As you will see from your news, the people of my faith are loyal to the word of Allah and we do not allow our Women to disobey our Sunni Islamic Law. This Woman clearly disobeyed the Law, but thankfully the Saudi Judge showed mercy.

Jazallah khair
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-25-2007, 08:59 PM

Islam=
Allah is the Devil.


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-25-2007, 09:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abdul-Khaaliq View Post
Hello my friends at Landover Baptist Church and peace be upon you all.
It is a long time since I was last here and much has happened after I was released from your Freehold Detention Center.
My Cousins escorted me back to Pakistan where I have been cleansed of my wish to become a Christian American.

Thankfully I have seen the light and I am back with my one True God (piss be upon him).
I have found your Christian Faith to be too barbaric compared to the Peace that is Islam and as you will see from my IP Address I am presently still in Pakistan where I am helping with certain Internal Affairs.

I shall soon be returning to America where I plan to use my family money to open a Mosque for the many Muslim people who reside in Iowa. We shall from there pass out the Merciful word of Allah. (piss be upon him) to many American people.


As you will see from your news, the people of my faith are loyal to the word of Allah and we do not allow our Women to disobey our Sunni Islamic Law. This Woman clearly disobeyed the Law, but thankfully the Saudi Judge showed mercy.

Jazallah khair
Ah, Brother Jazallah!
It is good to see a fellow tent dweller on this forum. I too was one until Pastor Pistle and Godly Sister Noddy showed me the light, Praise Jesus!(except I have problems with daylight). Yes indeed, my hands smelt of semtex mixed with Christian blood (like in fe fi fo fum) for many years, now they smell of moldy biblical passages from scrounging around in the cellars of LB.
In fact, I have taken up residence underneath the Godly LB main sanctuary.

Sorry to hear you're off to Paki. There's good eating here at Landover in the crypts.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-25-2007, 10:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Lindh View Post

Ah, Brother Jazallah!
It is good to see a fellow tent dweller on this forum. I too was one until Pastor Pistle and Godly Sister Noddy showed me the light, Praise Jesus!(except I have problems with daylight). Yes indeed, my hands smelt of semtex mixed with Christian blood (like in fe fi fo fum) for many years, now they smell of moldy biblical passages from scrounging around in the cellars of LB.
In fact, I have taken up residence underneath the Godly LB main sanctuary.

Sorry to hear you're off to Paki. There's good eating here at Landover in the crypts.
Indeed, brother! in the basement, in your coffin, with your fangs, in the dark! (fe fi fo fum)


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-25-2007, 11:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Lindh View Post
Sorry to hear you're off to Paki. There's good eating here at Landover in the crypts.
Y'all have some disturbing tendencies, Brother Lindh.

Quote:
Hello my friends at Landover Baptist Church and peace be upon you all.
It is a long time since I was last here and much has happened after I was released from your Freehold Detention Center.
My Cousins escorted me back to Pakistan where I have been cleansed of my wish to become a Christian American.
Oh, my goodness, I'm sorry to hear that. It would seem the devil has taken possession of your soul, sugar. Why would you choose to be damned when you could be saved?
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-25-2007, 11:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
Islam=
Allah is the Devil.
Sooo.... Islam equals a guy taking a crap so big he explodes? You guys really are crazy.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-25-2007, 11:29 PM

I see I have been Blessed by Allah (PBOH) so many of your Ladies flocking to me like Bees to Honey.
Ladies, I have the strength for many Wives so please contact me and we can talk regarding Marriage. I am wealthy young gifted and Muslim.

Pastor Marshall, Peace be upon you. You seem like a Military man. A fighter for the cause of your Religion if you will. Why not be a fighter for Islam? We not only offer you a guaranteed place with your Savior in Heaven but also many Virgins to keep you happy.

Brother Lindh, *Pagan greeting deleted*. I can only hope that you escape from your basement and come back to find the truth that is Islam.
I shall Pray for you.

*Pagan Greeting Deleted*

Last edited by Pastor Billy-Reuben; 11-25-2007 at 11:36 PM. Reason: Please do not use pagan greetings on our forum.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-25-2007, 11:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abdul-Khaaliq View Post
I see I have been Blessed by Allah (PBOH) so many of your Ladies flocking to me like Bees to Honey.
Ladies, I have the strength for many Wives so please contact me and we can talk regarding Marriage. I am wealthy young gifted and Muslim.
Sorry, sugar, I already am betrothed to a real man who is currently fighting in God's war in Iraq.

But if you expect to attract one of the ladies here, even though y'all mentioned you have a wealthy and fine estate, no True Christian woman would accept your courtship unless you renounced your Godless Allah-worshipping and turned to the Lord.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-26-2007, 12:51 AM

Maybe by "merciful" he means that explosive murder is instantaneous thus sparing the victims from undue suffering.
Then again having your head sawed off on TV looks rather protracted and painful so it seems we have a paradox.

Which is it PooBuht? How is Islam "merciful"? The end result is death either way.


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-26-2007, 01:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
Sooo.... Islam equals a guy taking a crap so big he explodes? You guys really are crazy.
So, did they let you out of the nuthouse again? Don't tell me that you've converted to Islamofacism.

That would be low, even for you.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-26-2007, 07:42 AM

Through some thorough research of my own, I have found Islam is linked to deprivation of Kool-Aid, fresh baked cookies and apple pie in the early years of childhood. So, Abraham, (much better than this Abdul nonsense, we speak English here) I was just wondering, what were you fed as a child?

Also, the insect enthusiast within me feels the need to question your simile of women flocking to you like "bees to honey". Ignoring the fact prostitutes are not in fact women, this simile is on the ridiculous side. Honey is made by bees therefore bees do not flock to it, but are naturally around it as they MAKE it. That would be like saying terrorists flock to Islam, when we all know it's Islam that produces the terrorists!


"She was of a great age, and had lived with a husband seven years from her virginity; And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day" - Luke 2:36-37
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-26-2007, 06:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Widow Anna View Post
Through some thorough research of my own, I have found Islam is linked to deprivation of Kool-Aid, fresh baked cookies and apple pie in the early years of childhood. So, Abraham, (much better than this Abdul nonsense, we speak English here) I was just wondering, what were you fed as a child?

Also, the insect enthusiast within me feels the need to question your simile of women flocking to you like "bees to honey". Ignoring the fact prostitutes are not in fact women, this simile is on the ridiculous side. Honey is made by bees therefore bees do not flock to it, but are naturally around it as they MAKE it. That would be like saying terrorists flock to Islam, when we all know it's Islam that produces the terrorists!
Amen Sister Anna. That is very smart and insightful for a mere woman.


Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-26-2007, 06:38 PM

Hey Abdul, I have a question for you.

During your month of Ramadan, you folks can only eat when it's dark outside, right? Your Muslim calendar is about 20 days shorter than the real calendar, which means Ramadan comes earlier and earlier each year. When Ramadan falls in the summertime, what do Muslims who live in extreme latitudes do when the sun doesn't set at all?

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-26-2007, 08:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Widow Anna View Post

Also, the insect enthusiast within me feels the need to question your simile of women flocking to you like "bees to honey" ...

Honey is made by bees therefore bees do not flock to it, but are naturally around it as they MAKE it ...
This is because sand-crawlers really don't know much of anything about nature and God's creatures (they eat sand and crawl along in the dark, and pray to a false moon god) O most wise Widow Anna (honey)


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-26-2007, 08:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
Hey Abdul, I have a question for you.

During your month of Ramadan, you folks can only eat when it's dark outside, right? Your Muslim calendar is about 20 days shorter than the real calendar, which means Ramadan comes earlier and earlier each year. When Ramadan falls in the summertime, what do Muslims who live in extreme latitudes do when the sun doesn't set at all?

Pastor Billy-Reuben
Peace be upon you Pastor Reuben. I am honored that you are taking such an interest in my Faith.

During Ramadan, Paradise Opens its Doors, Hell Closes its and Satan's are Chained so it is a very important time.
The strict guidelines generally apply to men and to Women who are clean at that time. A woman should not fast during menstruation and should make up the missed days by fasting later throughout the year, first seeking her husband's permission before beginning her fast".

Muslims generally break their fast by eating dates.
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) is reported to have said: “if anyone of you is fasting,
let him break his fast with dates”.
The Prophet likened a good Muslim to the date palm, saying, “Among trees, there is a tree like a Muslim.
Its leaves do not fall.”

Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds, and peace and blessings be upon the Trustworthy Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-26-2007, 10:37 PM

I could use a few more dates. Not those lousy ones where you buy a chick dinner and then she doesn't want to make out after.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-27-2007, 12:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Noddy View Post
This is because sand-crawlers really don't know much of anything about nature and God's creatures (they eat sand and crawl along in the dark, and pray to a false moon god) O most wise Widow Anna (honey)
Oh silly me, I thought being so close to the ground and all the little bugs would have made them take notice, but you're completely right. Moozlimbs are too busy fasting and praying and plotting with their false god, to wake up and see the evidence of the one true God, which is scuttling right by them on its teeny tiny little legs!


"She was of a great age, and had lived with a husband seven years from her virginity; And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day" - Luke 2:36-37
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 11-27-2007, 12:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abdul-Khaaliq View Post
Muslims generally break their fast by eating dates.
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) is reported to have said: “if anyone of you is fasting,
let him break his fast with dates”.
The Prophet likened a good Muslim to the date palm, saying, “Among trees, there is a tree like a Muslim.
Its leaves do not fall.”
Yes, but date palms don't blow up buses full of schoolchildren, so it would appear that Moo-Ham-Head (piss be upon him) sucked almost as bad at making comparisons as he did at accepting Christ and not being a filthy moon-crazed paedophile.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 12-03-2007, 04:20 PM

Will you people stop flaming each other's religion!
Love thy neighbour!


For your information, I did not betray Jesus. He requested it. Jesus said to me once: "Tolerance is everything. Remember this." To stop all this confusion, Jesus is NOT the son of God. He himself never EVER said this. He was just simply a very smart man. Live with it. "Women stand above men," as quoted by Jesus when he spoke to me in private, "because God gave them the power to give life."
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Default Re: ISLAM IS MERCIFUL! - 12-03-2007, 04:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
When Ramadan falls in the summertime, what do Muslims who live in extreme latitudes do when the sun doesn't set at all?

Pastor Billy-Reuben
Forgive me for addressing you directly and answering this question, Pastor Billy-Reuben, but apparently the towelheads in extreme latitudes orient themselves on Saudi-Arabia times.

I'll now erase this tidbit of information from my memory forever
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