Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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Unsaved trash, teenaged fool
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Posts: 389
Join Date: May 2012
Location: In bed with my fag boyfriend
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-15-2013, 09:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy The Penitent
Dear Mrs. SweatHog,
What is it about Men Only that you don't understand? Why are you here?
YIC
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Way to avoid her point. How do YOU justify this thread?
A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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Posts: 289
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Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-15-2013, 11:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeFromBrains
Way to avoid her point. How do YOU justify this thread?
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Hmmmm. I just read your Public Profile. Your quote:
Location
"In bed with my fag boyfriend"
Again, I quote from the Forum Rules,
"Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!"
YIC
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-16-2013, 03:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleSweatHog
These joke are offensive to women. No real woman would find them funny.
ThinksDesign
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Dear Godmocking Whore;
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping satan and spreading your legs for anyone with a dollar to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.
Quote:
Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
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Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!
YIC,
--Pastor Ezekiel
PS. If I catch you in the MEN's ONLY section of this Godly forum again, I'll throw you into Quarantine. Think I'm kidding?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Posts: 289
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-18-2013, 07:54 PM
Where were we.....Oh yea:
1. Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares? The important question is why is she not in the kitchen?
2. Why don't women need to drive?
Because there isn't a road between the kitchen and the bedroom.
3. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
4. Why are women's feet so short?
Enables them to get closer to the sink.
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Posts: 728
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Manalapan, FL
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-18-2013, 08:13 PM
Hello Landover Baptist Church. Here is my joke:
Q: What is the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?
A: Everybody wants to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day.
I should have told this to you yesterday.
Thank you.
Rusty
P.S. I also do not want to be Irish. They are drunks.
Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Mar 2013
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-20-2013, 12:22 AM
Who would win in a fight?
Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a dumb Negro, or a smart Negro
The dumb Negro because the others don't exist.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-20-2013, 02:03 AM
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best Toast of the Night"
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John," Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Posts: 289
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-21-2013, 05:21 PM
Altar Boy 1: Hi! I have to go to confession today and I'm a bit worried. You've known this priest for a long time. What will he give me for sodomy?
Altar Boy 2: Two chocolate bars.
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Posts: 289
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-22-2013, 05:35 PM
I will not be making any more jokes about a woman's menstrual cycle. Period.
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-22-2013, 05:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy The Penitent
I will not be making any more jokes about a woman's menstrual cycle. Period.
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Nor will I about inept cunnilinguists. They don't go down well.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-23-2013, 04:41 AM
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-23-2013, 04:49 PM
My barber told me this one.
What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Telephone, television, and tell a woman.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-24-2013, 06:46 PM
Most sexist joker EVER gets tech nerds fired!!:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21896442
Quote:
"While I did make a big dongle joke about a real piece of hardware that identified as male, no sexual jokes were made about forking," he wrote.
"My friends and I had decided forking someone's repo is a new form of flattery (the highest form being implementation) and we were excited about one of the presenter's projects; a friend said 'I would fork that guys repo'.
"The sexual context was applied by Adria, and not us.
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Quote:
'Crossed the line'
"A SendGrid developer evangelist's responsibility is to build and strengthen our developer community across the globe," wrote SendGrid chief executive Jim Franklin in a blog post. "In light of the events over the last 48+ hours, it has become obvious that (Adria's) actions have strongly divided the same community she was supposed to unite. As a result, she can no longer be effective in her role at SendGrid.
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Take that, you sexist, atheist nerds!
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Posts: 289
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Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-25-2013, 04:20 PM
Q: What happens when a joo with an erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-26-2013, 10:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy The Penitent
Q: What happens when a joo with an erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.
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That isn't funny.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Posts: 289
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-26-2013, 05:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
That isn't funny.
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...On another topic:
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,565
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-26-2013, 09:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy The Penitent
...On another topic:
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."
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That woman needs the sweet-tea treatment mentioned further back
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Posts: 289
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Re: Manly Jokes -
03-29-2013, 06:48 AM
Q: Why don't women in San Francisco wear short skirts?
A: Because their balls will show.
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
04-06-2013, 11:20 PM
Father Mo told me this joke the other day. It just goes to show how depraved the papists are, with their "holy water" nonsense.
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? Tiffany giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger. St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and then you may pass through the Pearly Gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?" Jennifer is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St. Peter says, "Ruth, What seems to be the rush?"
Ruth replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Forum Member
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Posts: 289
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
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Re: Manly Jokes -
04-07-2013, 12:11 AM
Q: What do you give a pedophile who has everything?
A: Another parish.
2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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