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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 12:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
That's right. He had GOD on his side. With God, all things are possible, harlot. God created the universe in 6 days and then slept in on the 7th. what is that compared with building a toy boat?
Well, if through 'god' all things are possible, wouldn't he have an answer to the oil crisis, global warming, and the fact that our air is slowly becoming unbreathable?
I don't see these things improving, do you?



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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 12:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Well, if through 'god' all things are possible, wouldn't he have an answer to the oil crisis, global warming, and the fact that our air is slowly becoming unbreathable?
I don't see these things improving, do you?
God's will is God's will. Relax! God is in charge!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 12:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Well, if through 'god' all things are possible, wouldn't he have an answer to the oil crisis, global warming, and the fact that our air is slowly becoming unbreathable?
I don't see these things improving, do you?
Matthew 8:26 And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.

Jesus has everything under control, witch. I have plenty of gasoline for my Escalades, and so would you if you loved Jesus.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 12:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Look, if you are going to go down THAT road, why not say that Noah didn't have any metal tools or engineering knowledge, nor had he probably even SEEN a boat before. !
You took the words right out of my mouth, my dear Pastor Al. You brought up some very good points there, points I would have brought up myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al
We keep trying to tell you that IT DOESN'T MATTER! GOD DID IT
The bible claims that Noah did it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al
God's will is God's will. Relax! God is in charge!
And just why do I get the feeling that exactly the same results would be had if people started to pray to Tinky Winky and the rest of the teletubbies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Matthew 8:26 And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.

Jesus has everything under control, witch. I have plenty of gasoline for my Escalades, and so would you if you loved Jesus.
Yeah, you have plenty. For about 5 more years, anyway. Then it'll be horse and cart for you.



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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 12:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Yeah, you have plenty. For about 5 more years, anyway. Then it'll be horse and cart for you.
Oh don't worry your empty little head about me. Long before it comes to that, the four horsemen of the apocalypse will be riding across your front yard, dropping a steaming load on your heathen rosebushes. Those are the only horsies you need to think about.

Revelation 6:1 And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. 6:2 And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer. 6:3 And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see. 6:4 And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. 6:5 And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. 6:6 And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.
6:7 And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. 6:8 And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.


That is how much Jesus loves us. GLORY!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 01:02 AM

Mmm hmm. Remind me to remind you of this conversation in 5 years when you're riding a mule-driven buggy to work.



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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 01:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
You took the words right out of my mouth, my dear Pastor Al. You brought up some very good points there, points I would have brought up myself.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda, but didn't. Because I have the answers!

The bible claims that Noah did it.

Yes, Noah did it through Divine Inspiration. The same way I post.

And just why do I get the feeling that exactly the same results would be had if people started to pray to Tinky Winky and the rest of the teletubbies?

Simple. Because you have not tithed enough to the TRUE CHRISTIAN™ faith to have a vested interest. Believe me, when we finally get your daughter, you will be praying every day!

Yeah, you have plenty. For about 5 more years, anyway. Then it'll be horse and cart for you.
Funny you should mention that. We have provisions for horses and carts at our Landover West Rapture-ready property.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 01:19 AM

[quote=Pastor Al E Pistle;12812]
Quote:
Woulda, coulda, shoulda, but didn't. Because I have the answers!
Quote:
I would have gotten around to it, Pastor.

Quote:
Yes, Noah did it through Divine Inspiration. The same way I post.

I do not believe in your god, or your bible, but let's look at this as if it really had happened. Impossible is impossible, and he was meant to be an old, old man.
As to the 'divine inspiration thing....so many things I could say there....so little time

Quote:
Simple. Because you have not tithed enough to the TRUE CHRISTIAN™ faith to have a vested interest. Believe me, when we finally get your daughter, you will be praying every day!

Heh. You'll never get her. You keep threatening to get Lilith and I, and so far all you've provided is missionaries who keep my rottweilers in good shape.
And Daisy and Raptor are as protective as my husband and I.

Quote:
Funny you should mention that. We have provisions for horses and carts at our Landover West Rapture-ready property.
Haha!
Isn't it a little ironic to prepare for an event you don't think will happen? (ie the oil crisis)?



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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 12:08 PM

My poor hellbound.
I really believe you aren't beyond saving. Your interest in the Bible is a good start. Now regarding the topic at hand may I direct you to these words:
"
John 3:16 KJV For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16 is quoted more than any other verse in the Bible, at least by Christians and other church-goers. There may be no verse that is more frequently perverted than this one, but most people still know the full verse as presented by the KJV. Why then, is it so hard to find the word 'begotten' in other versions? The word in question is 'monogenes'. This is a compound of two words monos and genes, the latter being drawn from the verb genao, which means to beget or cause to be produced. Monos means only or single, as is clear by its many appearances in English, such as monotony, monopoly, monotone, etc. Genao has come into the English language as well in words like generation, genesis, genes, generate, and so forth. The two words together mean only-begotten"


This is written by a man with not only Godly Bible knowledge, he has a PHD! This man is John Hinton and he knows what he's talking about!
Here is the complete article:
http://av1611.com/kjbp/ridiculous-kj...-Begotten.html


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 11:18 PM

But Eliot, it doesn't change the argument I made at the beginning of the thread. The angel 'came in unto Mary', and I provided a few examples of just what the bible meant when it said 'came in unto'. Therefore it would seem like the angel in the story, and not 'god', did the begetting.

Which would make John 3:16 untrue.

Not to mention those other 'sons of god' that were mentioned earlier.



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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 10-31-2006, 11:56 PM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
But Eliot, it doesn't change the argument I made at the beginning of the thread. The angel 'came in unto Mary', and I provided a few examples of just what the bible meant when it said 'came in unto'. Therefore it would seem like the angel in the story, and not 'god', did the begetting.

Which would make John 3:16 untrue.

Not to mention those other 'sons of god' that were mentioned earlier.
You are making the entire miracle seem less important than it was by nit-picking at it! Can't you understand that God begat JESUS, that is, Himself, by sending a Holy Spirit to go in unto Mary in order that JESUS could live to be crucified so that by dying He was actually killing Himself to change a law that He had made? WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? DOES IT MATTER THAT GOD CHOSE A MARRIED WOMAN? NO! DOES IT MATTER THAT YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS GREAT MIRACLE? NO!!!!


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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 11-01-2006, 12:11 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
You are making the entire miracle seem less important than it was by nit-picking at it! Can't you understand that God begat JESUS, that is, Himself, by sending a Holy Spirit to go in unto Mary in order that JESUS could live to be crucified so that by dying He was actually killing Himself to change a law that He had made? WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? DOES IT MATTER THAT GOD CHOSE A MARRIED WOMAN? NO! DOES IT MATTER THAT YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS GREAT MIRACLE? NO!!!!
Pastor Pistle, everything in this harlot's life is depraved and vile, which explains why she insists on painting graphic images of a sweaty God humping and pumping away at the nubile young Mary, a funky music track playing in the background, and a host of angels watching the pair rut while their robes flutter rhythmically. Her daily reality is nothing but a porn movie, so of course that's the way she sees the Holy Bible.

Or, in the Words of Jesus himself:

John 8:43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word.8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. 8:45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 11-01-2006, 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
You are making the entire miracle seem less important than it was by nit-picking at it! Can't you understand that God begat JESUS, that is, Himself, by sending a Holy Spirit to go in unto Mary in order that JESUS could live to be crucified so that by dying He was actually killing Himself to change a law that He had made? WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? DOES IT MATTER THAT GOD CHOSE A MARRIED WOMAN? NO! DOES IT MATTER THAT YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS GREAT MIRACLE? NO!!!!
My dear Pastor Al, it clearly says in that passage that an ANGEL went in unto Mary, not 'god', so therefore, how could jesus have been god's 'only begotten son' not to mention the fact that genesis mentions other sons!

Therefore John 3:16 cannot be true!

Quote:
Pastor Pistle, everything in this harlot's life is depraved and vile, which explains why she insists on painting graphic images of a sweaty God humping and pumping away at the nubile young Mary, a funky music track playing in the background, and a host of angels watching the pair rut while their robes flutter rhythmically. Her daily reality is nothing but a porn movie, so of course that's the way she sees the Holy Bible.
My dear Zeke,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Anyway....see my above response to Pastor Al. The bible says an angel went in unto Mary, not 'god'.

And I worry what's in YOUR mind, thinking of those images! Personally I could have done without reading that!!!!



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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 11-01-2006, 12:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
My dear Pastor Al, it clearly says in that passage that an ANGEL went in unto Mary, not 'god', so therefore, how could jesus have been god's 'only begotten son' not to mention the fact that genesis mentions other sons!

But it does not mention any BEGOTTEN SONS, now does it!?

Therefore John 3:16 cannot be true!

So you are like the mary-worshippers, then. You pick and choose and rewrite the parts of the Holy Bible that don't suit you. Disgusting.

Listen up harlot: THE HOLY KJV1611 BIBLE is the LITERAL Word of God, and therefore is 100% TRUE.


My dear Zeke,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Anyway....see my above response to Pastor Al. The bible says an angel went in unto Mary, not 'god'.

And as I stated before, your mind is in the gutter. "Go unto" could mean that God had the Angel ring Mary's doorbell and tell the servants that God wanted a word with her.....He uses Angels as His personal emissaries quite often, FYI. to assume that God sent an Angel to fornicate with Mary in order to open the way for Him is revolting and completely unBiblical.

God used His magic powers to deposit His Holy seed in Mary's womb. No heavy breathing or soiled bedsheets were involved, got that?


And I worry what's in YOUR mind, thinking of those images! Personally I could have done without reading that!!!!
You could do with Jesus in your heart, pervert! Now move on!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 11-01-2006, 01:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
But it does not mention any BEGOTTEN SONS, now does it!?

However it does mention sons.

Quote:
So you are like the mary-worshippers, then. You pick and choose and rewrite the parts of the Holy Bible that don't suit you. Disgusting.

No, there's a difference. I don't believe in ANY of the bible. What I'm doing is pointing out contradictions for those of you who DO believe it.

Quote:
Listen up harlot: THE HOLY KJV1611 BIBLE is the LITERAL Word of God, and therefore is 100% TRUE.

You weren't there when it was written. For all you know it could have been written by a monkey with a typewriter (I know, no typewriters back them but you get my gist)

Quote:
And as I stated before, your mind is in the gutter. "Go unto" could mean that God had the Angel ring Mary's doorbell and tell the servants that God wanted a word with her.....He uses Angels as His personal emissaries quite often, FYI. to assume that God sent an Angel to fornicate with Mary in order to open the way for Him is revolting and completely unBiblical.

It clearly said the angel went IN unto Mary, not 'unto Mary'. Think of it what you like, it still says what it says and I provided other examples of what 'going in unto' means in the bible.

Quote:
God used His magic powers to deposit His Holy seed in Mary's womb. No heavy breathing or soiled bedsheets were involved, got that?

It doesn't say that in the bible. It omits, and implies.

Quote:
You could do with Jesus in your heart, pervert! Now move on!

No thanks. I'm a happy Pagan

And I'm clearly right here, so there.



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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 11-01-2006, 01:24 AM

Mrs Hellschwanker, you are a sick and disgusting person. SICK AND DISGUSTING! How DARE you attempt to equate the Immaculate Conception of our Dear Lord with a couple of grimy JOOS having a wank in the back of some rat-infested stable?!?!?

I REBUKE THEE IN THE HOLY NAME OF JESUS, AMEN, and ORDER THE DEMONS TO COME OUT OF YOU, AMEN, AND ASK GOD TO HOLD BACK THE RAIN FROM YOUR COUNTRY FOREVER, AMEN!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 11-01-2006, 01:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Mrs Hellschwanker, you are a sick and disgusting person. SICK AND DISGUSTING! How DARE you attempt to equate the Immaculate Conception of our Dear Lord with a couple of grimy JOOS having a wank in the back of some rat-infested stable?!?!?
Because I am just going by what the BIBLE says here. You know, the same book that you guys follow to the letter?
It's all in there and you know it, Pastor Al, as I must admit your biblical knowledge does exceed my own.

Quote:
I REBUKE THEE IN THE HOLY NAME OF JESUS, AMEN, and ORDER THE DEMONS TO COME OUT OF YOU, AMEN, AND ASK GOD TO HOLD BACK THE RAIN FROM YOUR COUNTRY FOREVER, AMEN!
El nino is not funny you horrible old meanie!!!!! Water levels are at an all time low (or close to anyway)....bah...what would you care...
Anyway, you=MEANIE



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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 11-01-2006, 01:35 AM

Sorry, but for denying JESUS I have prayed for your country to turn into a dust bowl. Except the very northern part which will flood for forty days and forty nights. The alligators and crocodiles will overflow the riverbanks and become a plague upon the land!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 11-01-2006, 01:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Sorry, but for denying JESUS I have prayed for your country to turn into a dust bowl. Except the very northern part which will flood for forty days and forty nights. The alligators and crocodiles will overflow the riverbanks and become a plague upon the land!
Oh you prayed to jesus? Why didn't you say so? In other words, I needn't worry any more than if you'd told me you'd prayed to Snow White and the seven dwarves. Heh.



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Default Re: John 3:16, how could it be true? - 11-01-2006, 01:50 AM

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Oh you prayed to jesus? Why didn't you say so? In other words, I needn't worry any more than if you'd told me you'd prayed to Snow White and the seven dwarves. Heh.
Missy, you had BETTER hope that saucy attitude plays well when you are at SATAN'S GATE auditioning for your eternal torment in HELL!


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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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