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Easter is About Jesus - Period! A seasonal forum where we celebrate the true meaning of Easter. No bunnies allowed!

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Default Faithful Rise to Celebrate Jesus' Resurrection!! - 04-10-2007, 02:25 AM

GLORY to GOD!

According to this story, recently-dead corpses came back to life and wandered the streets of Eugene, Oregon yesterday, praising the Son of God's Resurrection!

Quote:
Zombies dead ahead: A group of friends takes a Sunday stroll
By Andrea Damewood
The Register-Guard
Published: Monday, April 9, 2007


A little exercise never killed anyone - especially if they're already dead.


This Easter Sunday, a small mob of Eugene zombies clambered from their graves to have a bloody good time witnessing Jesus' Resurrection to the living.

Beginning at Skinner Butte Cemetery, about 15 zombies staggered along Sixth Avenue on their way to Lane Transit District's Eugene Station and back, calling for brains and exhorting the living to "live their faith".

"People always ask if it's a religious statement," Christian Zombie Christopher Anglin said. "We have a message. We want them to know about Jesus and live in God's Word, so they may join Him in Heaven. This world isn't all there is."

"Excuse me a moment," he continued, bending down to pick up his left ear. "Keeps falling off, but Jesus always helps me find it and stick it back on again. Glory to God!"

While waiting for the grown-ups to convene, three young undead descended upon the Skinner Butte Park playground, mingling among the living children dressed in their Sunday best.

Some parents and children recoiled from the gray-faced youths, but most were just curious, if disgusted by the stench. Two children asked 14-year-old Isabella Zander what was wrong with her.

"I'm a zombie. God sent me back from the dead to tell you that Easter is a time to celebrate Jesus' resurrection, not to worship rabbits and eggs," she declared proudly, before hoisting a rock and ambling after a bald-headed jogger screeching, "Is Jesus in your brain? Let me see! Let me seeeee!"

As the clan commenced its parade of praise, drivers and pedestrians adopted different ways of dealing with the invasion of the undead.

A woman in a minivan stared, mouth agape. Some stopped to snap photographs on their camera phones. Others plugged their noses or held their breath. A bicyclist rode by, grabbed his face and pretended to scream.

Susie Schrock of Halsey and her brother, Ed Walburn, pulled over to ask what it was all about. The only response was a chorus of limping zombies groaning, "Meet! Jesus!"

"I said, `Maybe it's some kind of drama group from a church - after all, it's Easter,' " Schrock said. Added her brother, "I'm from Montana, and I said, `Sis, sis, we gotta go back home! That there's what city life does to ya!' "

Diners at the Keystone Cafe either shrieked in terror or smiled and waved as the horde pressed their faces against the glass, hungry for more than eggs Benedict.

Ambling into the densely populated bus station, the zombies increased their demand for human souls to save, pretending to smite those who refused a free Bible.

"They can be here as long as they don't cause any problems or disturb the buses," an LTD supervisor said. "I just think that they got their holidays confused."

Anglin's daughter, 9-year-old Roxanne Baggett, dragged her Zombie Jesus Doll by its hair, softly growling at the living.
"I like sharing Jesus with people," the deceased third-grader explained.

Not all of the undead were able to give their names and ages; however, a full list of those who were temporarily resurrected has been compiled by the City of Eugene Department of Public Safety, and will be posted in the Register-Guard following notification of family members.

Last edited by OnYourKnees; 04-10-2007 at 02:31 AM.
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Default Re: Faithful Rise to Celebrate Jesus' Resurrection!! - 04-10-2007, 02:47 AM

Brother OYK, I don't know how to tell you this, but I strongly suspect that this article depicts nothing more than a rag-tag band of God-mocking hippies who banded together on Easter Sunday with the express purpose of persecuting our Faith. If Oregon is the Canada of California, then Eugene is Red China.

I can tell you if they tried that around here, Brother BJ and his boys would be cracking some skulls for Christ.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Faithful Rise to Celebrate Jesus' Resurrection!! - 04-10-2007, 05:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Brother OYK, I don't know how to tell you this, but I strongly suspect that this article depicts nothing more than a rag-tag band of God-mocking hippies who banded together on Easter Sunday with the express purpose of persecuting our Faith. If Oregon is the Canada of California, then Eugene is Red China.

I can tell you if they tried that around here, Brother BJ and his boys would be cracking some skulls for Christ.
Shhhh, you're wrecking my late April Fool's Joke!

Pastor, I'm quite certain that these were real, honest-to-goodness zombies! Or maybe hippies who came out of drug-induced comas.

Either way . . .
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