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Posts: 23
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Location: from the deepest part of hell
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-11-2008, 02:55 PM
my sister in sin and i have lesbian sex together
Change my god damn name back to morticia and i will behave a little but not much
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Under Investigation
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Posts: 23
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: in my Fortress, all are welcome
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
03-02-2009, 02:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
Dearest Jesus! I pray Thee to defend, with Thy grace, chastity and purity in my soul as well as in my body.
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The power that the spirit has over the flesh should need no assistance. 'Course, having Jesus as a powerful wingman is one of the greater gifts from The Man, but sexual self-preservation I can handle solo
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
03-02-2009, 04:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir WhiteSox
The power that the spirit has over the flesh should need no assistance. 'Course, having Jesus as a powerful wingman is one of the greater gifts from The Man, but sexual self-preservation I can handle solo
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You can't handle anything "solo" heathen! Without Christ in your life, you're nothing but a steaming pile of unsaved bile. Look how screwed up your life is!
You can't even pick the right baseball team!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
06-12-2009, 10:51 PM
I pledge to be a sexually repressed, uptight, miserable wife who bows down to my husband as he spanks me because he walked in on me pleasuring myself with a tube of lipstick or anything else I could find...
I pledge to be sexually inexperienced enough so that my husband can relieve his sexual urges whenever he wants and then turn me into a baby making machine without me knowing that there is contraception available to prevent the pregnancies that stretch my vajayjay and sag my breasts.
Finally, I pledge to be such a bad lover that my husband will prefer to visit a rest stop bathroom and hump a hole in the wall using his godly member than have sex with me because it's so goddamn boring...
No, I think I'll have sex before marriage like men do and avoid a stale sex life.
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Unsaved trash, Greek Godmocker
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Posts: 47
Join Date: Jun 2009
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
06-25-2009, 11:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by IllLogicalBunny
I pledge to be a sexually repressed, uptight, miserable wife who bows down to my husband as he spanks me because he walked in on me pleasuring myself with a tube of lipstick or anything else I could find...
I pledge to be sexually inexperienced enough so that my husband can relieve his sexual urges whenever he wants and then turn me into a baby making machine without me knowing that there is contraception available to prevent the pregnancies that stretch my vajayjay and sag my breasts.
Finally, I pledge to be such a bad lover that my husband will prefer to visit a rest stop bathroom and hump a hole in the wall using his godly member than have sex with me because it's so goddamn boring...
No, I think I'll have sex before marriage like men do and avoid a stale sex life.
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Right on
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
06-25-2009, 01:33 PM
This is a thread about sexual purity, not a place to encourage impurity.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 289
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Freehold, here I am!
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
06-25-2009, 03:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by IllLogicalBunny
I pledge to be a sexually repressed, uptight, miserable wife who bows down to my husband as he spanks me because he walked in on me pleasuring myself with a tube of lipstick or anything else I could find...
I pledge to be sexually inexperienced enough so that my husband can relieve his sexual urges whenever he wants and then turn me into a baby making machine without me knowing that there is contraception available to prevent the pregnancies that stretch my vajayjay and sag my breasts.
Finally, I pledge to be such a bad lover that my husband will prefer to visit a rest stop bathroom and hump a hole in the wall using his godly member than have sex with me because it's so goddamn boring...
No, I think I'll have sex before marriage like men do and avoid a stale sex life.
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You and your womanly parts were put on this Earth specifically to make Soldiers of Christ and keep the house clean.
Matthew 7:15
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 70
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Connecticut...
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
07-04-2009, 12:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by IllLogicalBunny
I pledge to be a sexually repressed, uptight, miserable wife who bows down to my husband as he spanks me because he walked in on me pleasuring myself with a tube of lipstick or anything else I could find...
I pledge to be sexually inexperienced enough so that my husband can relieve his sexual urges whenever he wants and then turn me into a baby making machine without me knowing that there is contraception available to prevent the pregnancies that stretch my vajayjay and sag my breasts.
Finally, I pledge to be such a bad lover that my husband will prefer to visit a rest stop bathroom and hump a hole in the wall using his godly member than have sex with me because it's so goddamn boring...
No, I think I'll have sex before marriage like men do and avoid a stale sex life.
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Ummm... bad attitude. Of course, you are expected to be an inexperienced virgin, but you should welcome into your bed and strive to make him as pleasured as possible.
After all, is this not the duty of a good Christian wife. A good wife is happy to have her husband make Christian married love to her, so that he is not tempted to look elsewhere and stray with some fallen harlot, and also that you give birth to many fine Christian warriors.
Acts 3:24-25 "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else."
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Forum Member
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Posts: 145
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Godless Europistan
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-12-2011, 08:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
Many folks have come to me and expressed the need for help with their own sexual purity. I know all of you (who are worthy) want to be pure, but without GOD's help, you may find yourselves writhing in carnal knowledge like dogs in heat.
Anyway, by choosing an option in this poll you will be committing to LBC and GOD that you will remain pure. Please seal your agreement with our Lord by repeating the prayer below.
Dearest Jesus! I pray Thee to defend, with Thy grace, chastity and purity in my soul as well as in my body.
Amen.
PS Those of you who have the privilege, you may add options to the poll, as usual.
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I checked " Pure as Snow - Complete Sexual Purity "
I pray: Dearest Jesus! I pray Thee to defend, with Thy grace, chastity and purity in my soul as well as in my body.
Amen.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 294
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sweden :(
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-20-2011, 06:26 PM
I choose "Pure as snow", because I think that I am pure, God have helped me alot. But when I am married, ofcourse I must... do the naughty so that I can produce babies!
Yours in Christ
Elisabeth
Proverbs 14:1
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-20-2011, 06:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pure_Angel
I choose "Pure as snow", because I think that I am pure, God have helped me alot. But when I am married, ofcourse I must... do the naughty so that I can produce babies!
Yours in Christ
Elisabeth
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Not to worry. You won't even know about it most likely.
I always waited for Mrs. Porter to be deep in REM sleep before I did all the hard work of creating my four boys. There is nothing for the woman to do but simply receive the seed, so no reason for her to be awake. And if she started to stir, I would loudly recite my favorite Scripture from Judges to take her mind off any sinful enjoyment of the act.
It will all be okay.
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 294
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sweden :(
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-20-2011, 07:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter
Not to worry. You won't even know about it most likely.
I always waited for Mrs. Porter to be deep in REM sleep before I did all the hard work of creating my four boys. There is nothing for the woman to do but simply receive the seed, so no reason for her to be awake. And if she started to stir, I would loudly recite my favorite Scripture from Judges to take her mind off any sinful enjoyment of the act.
It will all be okay.
In Christ
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That is so very, very kind of you Brother Harold! That sounds like true love too me! I hope that my future husband will do the same to mee so I don't need to be aware of it!
YIC
Elisabeth
Proverbs 14:1
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 145
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Godless Europistan
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
06-12-2011, 06:23 PM
Dear Brothers or sisters.
Can you help me ?
I want to take a celibacy pledge.
" He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord... " (1stCor 7,32)
But I don't know how to tell this to the Lord.
Can you write me a pray here ?
Thanks
Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
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