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Default Re: THE PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON IS A SACM! - 01-18-2007, 12:31 PM

Moreover the Paypal button is

a Sinless Acolyte Collecting Money
for the builder known as God

We roof his house
with gold—not sod
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Default Re: THE PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON IS A SACM! - 01-19-2007, 07:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Moreover the Paypal button is

a Sinless Acolyte Collecting Money
for the builder known as God

We roof his house
with gold—not sod
I'd like to tithe to God's favorite Church™ but I don't currently have access to a credit card.
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Default Re: THE PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON IS A SACM! - 01-20-2007, 07:27 AM

just out of curiosity, since I'm still working minimum wage jobs and can't afford a 2,000 dollar donation, what IS the minimum donation?
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Default Re: THE PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON IS A SACM! - 01-20-2007, 12:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Patience View Post
just out of curiosity, since I'm still working minimum wage jobs and can't afford a 2,000 dollar donation, what IS the minimum donation?
Well friend, we can look to the Holy Bible for answers to any questions at all. As far as Tithing goes, Jesus generally recommends 10% of your net income.

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.


We certainly don't want to rob God, now do we?

However, your case is a bit unique, being dirt poor and all. Jesus gives us an example to serve as a guide for those who haven't been blessed with the riches Jesus bestows upon True Christians™.

Mark 12:41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. Mark 12:42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. Mark 12:43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: Mark 12:44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

See? Jesus demands that poor trash like yourself donate ALL of their money, and in return He will bestow you with a rich multitude of Blessings. The Bible couldn't be more clear. So just hit that Paypal button now, send in every penny you can lay your hands on, even next month's rent, and rest assured that Jesus will take care of you. I'll be waiting to receive your love offering. Don't try and rob Jesus.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: THE PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON IS A SACM! - 01-21-2007, 05:22 AM

Yeah i currently have no income. Will jesus be mad at me that i give him 10% of nothing?
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Default Re: THE PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON IS A SACM! - 01-21-2007, 06:09 AM

He most certainly will be, SISSYKEEPER!
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Default Re: THE PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON IS A SACM! - 01-21-2007, 11:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacekeeper View Post
Yeah i currently have no income. Will jesus be mad at me that i give him 10% of nothing?
You oviously have access to a computer and electricity. Someone provides you with food and shelter I presume. Funds can be had, if your heart is into the task. If, however, you are here to mock Christ, then I know you'll just give up and accept your eternal damnation from Jesus like a man, right?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: THE PAYPAL DONATION BUTTON IS A SACM! - 01-21-2007, 01:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Patience View Post
just out of curiosity, since I'm still working minimum wage jobs and can't afford a 2,000 dollar donation, what IS the minimum donation?
Give EVERY cent you have! It's a matter of FAITH and TRUST in the Lord! Don't you know what Jesus said about how God takes care of the lilies of the valley and all his creatures?

Give every cent you have and don't worry about your rent or bills just place your FAITH in JESUS and He will take care of EVERYTHING else. If they come turn off your electric DON'T worry! If your landlord evicts you DON'T worry! Don't worry becasue it is ALL in God's PLAN for YOU! Maybe you are meant to be homeless scum so JESUS can teach you a thing or two.

Now, enough of all the excuses! HIT THE BUTTON SINNER and give to JESUS!!


Evangelist for Jesus and The Word!!

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15


"Prayer should be your first resource. Not your last resort!!"
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