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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-09-2011, 06:22 PM

While we know that the vast majority of sodomites are mincing nancyboys who lisp and try to walk like women, there are some who attempt to disguise themselves as real men in order to hide their homosexual agenda recruitment from the eyes of normal people.
Because of this, it's useful for True Christians™ to have a guide to help them tell who is an unrepentant sodomite that needs to be kept far away from our children.
There are two categories for these signs, obvious and not so obvious. Remember, any one of these can mean that you are looking at a raging queer who will stop at nothing to destroy America and the traditional family.

Obvious
Lisps
Minces
Wears women clothing
Enjoys the WNBA
Wears pink
Goes to live theater
Watches "chick flicks"
Doesn't care for John Wayne movies
Votes Democrat
The only picture of a woman he has is of Rachel Maddow, Liza Minnelli, or Cher
Works at a beauty parlor
Works as a stewardess
Works as an interior decorator
Works as a nurse
Liberal

Not so obvious
Enjoys gardening but isn't a Mexican't or Oriental
Goes to proper sporting events but just stares at the players instead of cheering
Goes to "hair salons" instead of barber shops
"Metros*xual"
Over 25 and not yet married
Does anything with flowers, including being submissive enough to give them to his "wife"
Goes to a gym (that isn't The Taut Christian)
Votes Republican, but only for "moderates"
Watches MSNBC
Complains about Fox News
Listens to "pop" music
Is a public school teacher
Claims to be an "atheist"
Claims to be a "buddhist"
Claims to be a "catholic"
Let's face it, if he's not a True Christian™, he probably relishes any chance he has to spit in the face of Jesus
Cooks in the kitchen instead of on a BBQ
Only plays touch football
Is against hunting
Hates guns
Paints his walls any color except white
Can tell the difference between "white" and "off-white"
Is anti-American
Doesn't want to be American
Protests against wars
Anti-capital punishment (no surprise, because once God's Law is back in effect in this country...)
Wears any jewelry other than a manly watch
Yes, that includes a "wedding ring", something only today's feminized men insist on wearing


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-09-2011, 07:12 PM

More signs of a Homosexual

Refuses a side of ranch with his dinner at Applebees
Wears sandals
Belongs to a union
Has long hair
Owns a model train set
Has ever been on unemployment
Owns a car that is considered mid size or smaller
Has ever cried.
Knows how to "manscape"



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-09-2011, 07:23 PM

Even more signs

Pretends to be "tolerant" and says "to each their own"
Calls negras "African Americans"
Doesn't know how to fix an engine
Calls dogs "cute"
Watches musicals
Likes "ethnic music"
Doesn't believe in home schooling
Has S*x And The City on DVD


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-09-2011, 07:47 PM

  • Listens to NPR
  • Doesn't drive an SUV (bonus faggotry points if he uses public transportation)
  • Reads the JYT
  • Over 18 but still has a waist size of 30 or less
  • Wears clothing from Abercrombie & Fitch or American Apparel (bonus faggotry points if it fits correctly)
  • Vacations in Christ-hating Europistan
  • Enters the city limits of any city of 500,000 or more for any reason other than work or evangelism
  • Likes ethnic food
  • Actually enjoys clothes shopping


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-09-2011, 07:56 PM

Yet More Signs

- owns a MacBook
- has a Twitter account
- does anything whatsoever with his eyebrows
- collects anything (other than firearms)
- has had more than one prostate exam


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-09-2011, 08:03 PM

Enjoys professional wrestling
Doesn't care for decent, good old amateur wrestling
Has muscles too big to come from farm work or other honest labor
Puts anything in his hair other than classic Brylcreem and a comb
Plays with children
Eats fruit (especially bananas)
Knows what kind of mushroom that is on his plate
Dances


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
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My Ladies of Landover profile!
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-09-2011, 08:07 PM

Boy uses girl's bathroom.
Those pink triangles are located in front of the house:

Oral Herpes.
Smokes the Marijuana.

Mac Users.
Plays Super Mario.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-14-2011, 05:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Yet More Signs

- owns a MacBook
- has a Twitter account
- does anything whatsoever with his eyebrows
- collects anything (other than firearms)
- has had more than one prostate exam
uhm...just a question. if people who have twitter are gay...why do some of your people (e.g. Daisy Mae Johnson or Cranky Old Man) have twitter???
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Default 06-30-2011, 08:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
More signs of a Homosexual
Has long hair

Knows how to "manscape"
dont forget jesus had long hair... you should know your stuff (im not saying hes gay though im thankful he gave his life for everyone)
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 06-30-2011, 10:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nickbailey View Post
dont forget jesus had long hair... you should know your stuff (im not saying hes gay though im thankful he gave his life for everyone)
Posted via Mobile Device
Scripture or it didn't happen.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 06-30-2011, 10:26 AM

Remember THIS POST?

Quote:
im not even gonna reply, say all you want cause im not even gonna read your posts anymore because ill be having fun and not be sitting at a computer all day complaining about music ill even delete my account so i CANT reply
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. 1hour 25minutes later

POOF! he's back
Quote:
Originally Posted by nickbailey View Post
dont forget jesus had long hair... you should know your stuff (im not saying hes gay though im thankful he gave his life for everyone)
I thought you might have read The Bible to find something in support of your claim that Jesus died for everyone? I will find one for you:





__________________________________________________


JOHN 3:i6
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.
__________________________________________________





Oh - that verse is not suitable: it says that ONLY SOME PEOPLE are covered: the ones that BELIEVE IN HIM.

Let's try Matthew.. ..




__________________________________________________


MATTHEW 7:13-14
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it
__________________________________________________




Hmmm .. .. maybe I'm reading the wrong Bible; which one are you reading????????
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nickbailey nickbailey is offline
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Default 06-30-2011, 04:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
Remember THIS POST?

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. 1hour 25minutes later

POOF! he's back


I thought you might have read The Bible to find something in support of your claim that Jesus died for everyone? I will find one for you:





__________________________________________________


JOHN 3:i6
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.
__________________________________________________





Oh - that verse is not suitable: it says that ONLY SOME PEOPLE are covered: the ones that BELIEVE IN HIM.

Let's try Matthew.. ..




__________________________________________________


MATTHEW 7:13-14
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it
__________________________________________________




Hmmm .. .. maybe I'm reading the wrong Bible; which one are you reading????????
my friend and i share a account i told him not to post anything and he posted that
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 06-30-2011, 08:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nickbailey View Post
my friend and i share a account i told him not to post anything and he posted that
Posted via Mobile Device
Aren't shared accounts a violation of the TOS?


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 06-30-2011, 09:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nickbailey View Post
my friend and i share a account
Is "your friend" gay?


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 07-01-2011, 05:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nickbailey View Post
.. .. [rot deleted] .. ..
Remember THIS POST?
Quote:
im not even gonna reply, say all you want cause im not even gonna read your posts anymore because ill be having fun and not be sitting at a computer all day complaining about music ill even delete my account so i CANT reply
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. 1hour 25minutes 10hours 9minutes later

POOF! he's back


Have you read The Bible yet?
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-29-2022, 01:45 PM

Sits with his legs crossed
Enjoys “rom com”
Drinks any kind of clear alcohol or non-brown alcohol
Gets uncomfortable when you bring up “breasts” or “hell”
Eats Lemmon bars
“I actually think Biden is doing a decent job”


-Your dear friend in Christ our lord n savior, forever and always amen to him our father, SouthernAndSaved
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Jesus Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-29-2022, 07:52 PM

I disagree with this, Friend.

I have had many homers in front of me. I love them and I love their sweet muscular souls. The only way to determine if a man is gay is ask him. I use the masculine terms here because there are no female gays. Two women loving each other until they meet the man who can change their lezbeanery is not as disgusting as two hot, hairy, macho, lithe, undulating men engaged in that which is unseemly.

Perhaps you would benefit from my book, “Loving Men Inside and Out,” with a foreword by Dr. Laurence Niles. It is only 49.99 at better baptist bookstores.

One with the Master,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 04-04-2022, 02:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernAndSaved View Post
Sits with his legs crossed
Enjoys “rom com”
Drinks any kind of clear alcohol or non-brown alcohol
Gets uncomfortable when you bring up “breasts” or “hell”
Eats Lemmon bars
“I actually think Biden is doing a decent job”
Does that mean like an Indian guru on a satin pillow?
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-12-2011, 08:56 PM

You can recognize them by there luscious lips and shiny coat. Many homosexuals stay in the closet by pretending to be Baptist ministers. You may recognize a homosexual if he has testicles and is found antiquing various other homosexuals(hence the "back door" christians)
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 03-12-2011, 09:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialistAtheist View Post
blah, blah who cared? blah
  • anyone who is a communist is gay
  • anyone who doesn't own a corporation and donates to a political candidate is gay.
  • Anyone who publishes embarrassing taped conservations with conservative politicians is gay (note, this correct heterosexual behavior to tap liberal politicians in secret)
  • Anyone who is a public school teacher is gay.



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