The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 13
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: In Jesus' heart.
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Help! I need Salvation! -
07-28-2018, 01:28 AM
Help! I need all the salvation and prayers possible. My evil twin likes to possess my account and post all kinds of non sense. I need you all to pray for his soul. Only then shall I'll be free from his chains and return him back to hell where he belongs.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-28-2018, 02:32 AM
What you need is a good whooping from a mother who loves you.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 13
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: In Jesus' heart.
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-28-2018, 05:24 AM
Oh, Mary...
I don't have a problem related to homosexuality. I was raised by pagans, who practiced witchcraft. They would ring the bells from hell and unleash the devil from jail. That way, all you baptist could go around playing demon hunters.
Oh, but I swear now, your good o' spanking has given me a new outlook on life. I can see clearly now that the fire and brimstones have stopped. No obstacles in my way. It's going to be a bright, bright, sunshiny day.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-28-2018, 05:33 AM
Well excuse me while I clutch my pearls and swoon over here in the corner.
When you decide to let go of the silly troll façade and find out who we really are and what we really stand for, we'll be here. Jesus led you here for a reason, dear, and far be it from me to get in His Way.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 13
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: In Jesus' heart.
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-28-2018, 02:29 PM
Please mother number two. I'll read the regulations and learn the proper behavior for a Christian forum. My only request is for someone to rid this filthy user name given upon me by one of the pastors or staff. I promise. I'm ready to receive Jesus in my heart. No more mockery.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-28-2018, 03:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Humpin'Dead
...I promise. I'm ready to receive Jesus in my heart. No more mockery.
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So you're gonna read the KJV? Cool. 66 books, read two a day, should take about an hour on average (some are really short), and you'll be done in about a month! Take lots of notes, and we'll discuss.
When you're done. Until then, quiet little mousie mode, k?
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Forum member
Forum Member
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Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-29-2018, 04:23 AM
Sounds like you have demons. Have you prayed the demons away?
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 42
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Duluth, MN
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-29-2018, 07:46 AM
Dana,
I am thinking he's a tad Psychotic.
In Jesus' Service,
Scott Merriweather
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-29-2018, 11:01 AM
" psychotic" means demons
Satan caused in certain Europeans from time to time the desire to explain demons in terms of unconscious urges or gaudy mythologies. One of these concerned Psyche, a heathen trollop pawed at by equally heathen men to the consternation of Aphrodite, the goddess of being a slut.
Freudian down to her least toenail what could Aphrodite do? Why, send her son down to fire off aphrodisiac missiles at Psyche of course. Adler would nod, sneering perhaps, but the interests of an individual were involved and he'd stand well back; not so Jung! When firing off aphrodisiacs (I won't dwell further on etymology) it's important to allow for windage and surely Jung would anticipate likely accidents such as Eros .— .the son .— .eroticising himself had he been around. But Jung's demonolatry was a much later manifestation, even though the demons are the same.
Did Psyche mind? Well she allowed Eros to creep around veiled in darkness and I'm sure Freud has many examples of Aphrodite operating under whatever soubriquet he fancied in similar circumstances but all these antics are manifestations of demonic possession as we know from The Bible and from the origins of the deceptions themselves.
I Timothy 4:1, 7 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils..….but refuse profane and old wives' fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness. Nothing resulting from involvement with the psych- fraternity ever leads to Godliness. And whether you call them psychoses or demons, whether you identify as a pagan or a materialist, whether you imagine unconscious urges to be running the show or think that the little magnetic fields surrounding your heads are nested in the overarching geomagnetic field and controlled that way, there is only one controller to choose from. Satan.
But Jesus makes us free.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 13
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: In Jesus' heart.
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-29-2018, 07:51 PM
I'm not psychotic nor possessed by demons. I was sent to boil the rage that resides inside all of you. Unlike you religious nutjobs, I don't believe in imaginary friends such as angels, demons or spirits.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-29-2018, 09:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Humpin'Dead
I'm not psychotic nor possessed by demons. I was sent to boil the rage that resides inside all of you. Unlike you religious nutjobs, I don't believe in imaginary friends such as angels, demons or spirits.
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So you're not going to read the Bible as promised, but instead are here to attempt (and inevitably fail at) some sort of troll?
Psalm 119:165 "Great peace have they which love thy law: And nothing shall offend them." You have no idea how far out of your league you are.
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-29-2018, 10:13 PM
Brother Humpin',
As young, lithe and hormonal boys, we tend to rebel against the One Who Made Us - God Almighty - but eventually, this rebellion will catch up with you. It may be when the Church realizes you are not all you say you are and they revile you because of your sexual sin, revoking your access to private messages and unsupervised contact.
It may be because you dressed up as a female on Fridays and Saturdays at "Illusions," the local drag bar. One of the congregation is brought to the show as part of her bachelorette party and there you are, dressed as Nicki Minaj, writhing on the floor in a lustful dance. Your eyes lock and the rest is pain and misery.
It could be that you thought the Roman Pope was the vicar of Christ and then through the love of Baptists you see your evil ways and renounce the idolatry that is the catholic church.
However it happens, it happens because the LORD GOD sees all and works to bring you closer to Him. You found this site because Christ is reaching out His Nail Scarred Hand to you, and I would love to add you to my prayer list of potential soldiers for the Lord. In fact, I've just done so. Your name will be heard at the Throne of Grace for your soon acceptance of His temporary sacrifice on Cavalry.
Praise God that He has led you to us!
BrotherLarry
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Forum member
Forum Member
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Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-30-2018, 12:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Humpin'Dead
I'm not psychotic nor possessed by demons. I was sent to boil the rage that resides inside all of you. Unlike you religious nutjobs, I don't believe in imaginary friends such as angels, demons or spirits.
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That sounds exactly like what someone who is possessed by demons would say.
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
Forum Member
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Posts: 334
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pineville, NC
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-30-2018, 05:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Well excuse me while I clutch my pearls and swoon over here in the corner.
When you decide to let go of the silly troll façade and find out who we really are and what we really stand for, we'll be here. Jesus led you here for a reason, dear, and far be it from me to get in His Way.
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I firmly believe that, that is why I changed my trolling ways, and picked up the KJV1611.
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
Forum Member
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Posts: 334
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pineville, NC
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-30-2018, 05:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Humpin'Dead
I'm not psychotic nor possessed by demons. I was sent to boil the rage that resides inside all of you. Unlike you religious nutjobs, I don't believe in imaginary friends such as angels, demons or spirits.
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so you want to try to and upset these Godly people? Take it from me start reading the Bible KJV1611 or give Daddy back his computer/phone.
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
07-30-2018, 10:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana723
Quote:
Originally Posted by Humpin'Dead
I'm not psychotic nor possessed by demons. I was sent to boil the rage that resides inside all of you. Unlike you religious nutjobs, I don't believe in imaginary friends such as angels, demons or spirits.
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That sounds exactly like what someone who is possessed by demons would say.
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It's funny isn't it how people claiming disbelief are so upbeat? They ignore the spiritual dimension, astronomical demons for instance publishing horoscopes, at their peril. Secularism has a similar origin, as does multiculturalism. Allah and Ganesh are the same thing, no-God, Confucius, one and the same they'd have us believe. Satan likes it that way, for now: James 2:19 Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
Forum Member
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Posts: 334
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pineville, NC
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
08-05-2018, 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
It's funny isn't it how people claiming disbelief are so upbeat? They ignore the spiritual dimension, astronomical demons for instance publishing horoscopes, at their peril. Secularism has a similar origin, as does multiculturalism. Allah and Ganesh are the same thing, no-God, Confucius, one and the same they'd have us believe. Satan likes it that way, for now: James 2:19 Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble
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he's not possessed the possessed are slightly smarter they wouldn't come here to get followers 7 billion people would be a better target
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
08-07-2018, 04:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vengeance Puriel
he's not possessed the possessed are slightly smarter they wouldn't come here to get followers 7 billion people would be a better target
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Well, dear, you have to start somewhere if your target is seven billion people, and these days, internet is a good place to do so, don't you think?
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 13
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: In Jesus' heart.
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
08-07-2018, 11:04 PM
I don't want to convert you all. It's your choice to believe in God. I was foolish and stupid to mock you all. I apologize. *waves white flag*
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Help! I need Salvation! -
08-08-2018, 09:09 AM
Christians have already been converted. God knew who would cry out to Him for forgiveness and was ready to answer just as He answered King David:
Psalm 51:10-13 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. Christians know about God in the same way that heathens know about the wind or sky. Try imagining that you believe there is no sky. Or no wind. Unless you lived in a box or were blind and had leprosy it would be obvious that there was wind and sky. We used to live in a box like that but when we understood The Truth the real nature of the world we live in became clear. That's why it's so difficult to convert us back to where we were before, even if you live there and think that's all there is to the world.
I can recommend the Book of Judges where God's mercy is explained quite clearly as are the consequences for people who disbelieve His Inerrant Word.
Judges 1:1 – 21:25
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