HOME WELCOME! FORUMS Register FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read
Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
Page 1 of 12 1 234511 Last »
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Bob4God's Avatar
Bob4God Bob4God is offline
Moderator
Arms Dealer for CHRIST
Hands folded for Jesus
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '06 2008 Witch Hunt Award Silver Tither Real American™ Heaven Bound Home Schooled Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Ex-Gay Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Christian Love Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off

 
Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 02:44 AM
Taste the rainbow, indeed! The homosexual agenda has taken many shapes and sizes, but we have been onto it at every turn of it's quest to recruit our children to the queer lifestyle!

This evening while I was expressing a high degree of intense revulsion at my own nakedness in the shower, the Holy Spirit came upon me and told me to write to all of you about the dangers of these nefarious little candies!

ATTENTION: WOMEN, CHILDREN, AND THOSE WITH WEAK SPIRITUAL CONSTITUTIONS SHOULD NOT CONTINUE!



Right off the bat we can see that these sodomite sweets are attractively decorated with the bright colors of the rainbow, which was long ago adopted as the homo calling card.

The term "Original Fruit" is splattered across the top of the packaging, which is homosexual code language for "virgin testicles." There was a 200% increase in Skittles sales when they started using that slogan. At the same time, incidents of homosexuals abducting and raping young Christian boys skyrocketed. Coincidence? I doubt it.



When we view Skittles closeup, it is obvious that they have been modeled after a) the male buttocks, or b) testicles.

Each color of Skittles has a different meaning. Homosexuals will keep a variety of these in their pockets, and when they see a potential homosexual or homosexual recruit, they will attempt to hand-feed it into their mouth. According to the color, that is what the "host" wants to do with the "guest."

GREEN: Fornicate in a public park

YELLOW: Abduct a christian man and take turns urinating on his face

RED: Spank the "guest's" behind with a leather strap

ORANGE: Fornicate with vegetables stolen from a True Christian farmer

BROWN: The "host" will insert Skittles candies 'up there' and then pay the "vendor" with a kiss every time he wants a pile of candies excreted into his palm or even directly into his mouth!

Friends, I am calling for a ban on ALL Skittles products, whether it be food, clothing or decorative ornaments! THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!

If you find your children eating these candies, TAKE THEM AWAY AT ONCE AND BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR EXPERIMENTING IN THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!

MAY GOD KEEP YOUR FAMILIES SAFE!


The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


Last edited by Bob4God; 01-24-2010 at 06:05 AM. Reason: Fixed a picture
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 07:48 AM
I was going to comment on this vile abomination..but fainted after reading it. You can better believe that NOOOOO Skittles will ever be purchased again at the Johnson Residence!

I can't click back on this thread (for fear that I will faint again) but will ALERT a GODLY Pastor.


In JESUS'S name Amen!



Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Shinigami's Avatar
Shinigami Shinigami is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
  
Posts: 116
Join Date: Dec 2008
Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 08:59 AM
I never liked the things. The flavors were completely gay and all that. Back in the day the real candy of real men was Warheads. You ate one and got hairs on your chest for doing it! Real man's "take the skin off the back of your throat" kind of sour. No queers and homers allowed!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Taylor's Avatar
Taylor Taylor is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
  
Posts: 98
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Gerrards Cross
Taylor is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Taylor is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Taylor is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 08-02-2010, 11:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinigami View Post
I never liked the things. The flavors were completely gay and all that. Back in the day the real candy of real men was Warheads. You ate one and got hairs on your chest for doing it! Real man's "take the skin off the back of your throat" kind of sour. No queers and homers allowed!
Are you allowed a username that means "Death God"? I'm not judging, I like Bleach!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 08-02-2010, 05:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taylor View Post
Are you allowed a username that means "Death God"? I'm not judging, I like Bleach!
A little girl needs some healthy hobbies. I don't think that worshipping slant death demons and drinking household chemicals counts.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Taylor's Avatar
Taylor Taylor is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
  
Posts: 98
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Gerrards Cross
Taylor is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Taylor is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Taylor is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 08-02-2010, 06:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
A little girl needs some healthy hobbies. I don't think that worshipping slant death demons and drinking household chemicals counts.
Ewww, I don't drink bleach, it's the name of... oh never mind
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
  
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 09:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Each color of Skittles has a different meaning. Homosexuals will keep a variety of these in their pockets, and when they see a potential homosexual or homosexual recruit, they will attempt to hand-feed it into their mouth. According to the color, that is what the "host" wants to do with the "guest."

GREEN: Fornicate in a public park

YELLOW: Abduct a christian man and take turns urinating on his face

RED: Spank the "guest's" behind with a leather strap

ORANGE: Fornicate with vegetables stolen from a True Christian farmer

BROWN: The "host" will insert Skittles candies 'up there' and then pay the "vendor" with a kiss every time he wants a pile of candies excreted into his palm or even directly into his mouth!

Friends, I am calling for a ban on ALL Skittles products, whether it be food, clothing or decorative ornaments! THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!

If you find your children eating these candies, TAKE THEM AWAY AT ONCE AND BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR EXPERIMENTING IN THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!

MAY GOD KEEP YOUR FAMILIES SAFE!
My GOD, brother! This post caught me right after dinner and I threw up reading it. In fact, I had heart palpitations and had to take a nitro tablet and drink a snifter of pre-French cognac.

It was a a waste of perfectly good fricasseed spotted-owl and sea-turtle soup. This is a wonderful example of the maniacal homer agenda, but PLEASE make your warning a bit clearer or post in red letters. Is there no limit to what qweers and goths will do to ruin our youth?

Have a care, Brother. Sea turtle is VERY expensive and will be as long as it's on the endangered species list. No one notices when a couple of owls go missing, but they are a taste treat as well!

Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
eliot mayfield's Avatar
eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
God Squad
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 3rd class Tin Tither Ribfest '06 Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 2nd class Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 01:00 PM
Candy has long been a way for the Homers too lure children into their grip.

Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 05:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Candy has long been a way for the Homers too lure children into their grip.
You can say that again!
Attached Images
  



Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Sir WhiteSox Sir WhiteSox is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
  
Posts: 23
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: in my Fortress, all are welcome
Sir WhiteSox is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sir WhiteSox is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 03-02-2009, 02:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Have a care, Brother. Sea turtle is VERY expensive and will be as long as it's on the endangered species list.
Because killing God's creation just to have a nice dinner is exactly what we need.

Rainbows are God's creation too, you guys. Gay people using it as a symbol are not even a tiny threat to The Man. What are you obsessing about?
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
SA Child of God's Avatar
SA Child of God SA Child of God is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
  
Posts: 49
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Doesn't matter. According to some, I have a place reserved in the lake of fire... NOT!!!
SA Child of God is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 09-04-2009, 04:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

Have a care, Brother. Sea turtle is VERY expensive and will be as long as it's on the endangered species list. No one notices when a couple of owls go missing, but they are a taste treat as well!
Is it legal to eat endangered species in the USA? Do we not encourage Christians to follow the law of their own countries?? Just asking. Where I live it would be illegal to go against the law, but I do not presume to know your laws over there in the US of A!
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,744
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 02:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!
After research at the Biblical Science Laboratory at Landover Christian University, we have narrowed this down to Canuba wax.
However, before I present our findings, let me remind you that, on average, there are 42 Skittles in a pack! And what is 42? According to the despicable atheist author of “The Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy,” it is “the answer to the world, the universe and everything”! Yes, dear reader, we know that God is the answer to the world, the universe and everything yet Skittles claim they are! They are “of The Devil”!

42? Coincidence? I think not!

And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

O the iniquity!




“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Bob4God's Avatar
Bob4God Bob4God is offline
Moderator
Arms Dealer for CHRIST
Hands folded for Jesus
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '06 2008 Witch Hunt Award Silver Tither Real American™ Heaven Bound Home Schooled Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Ex-Gay Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Christian Love Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off

 
Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 04:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

O the iniquity!
Indeed Brother Bathfire, but I suspect the debauchery runs deeper than that! It is possible that this canuba wax is the same kind of wax they use to purge themselves of the GODly mass of hair that the LORD has blessed all humans with to help hide their shame. With gleeful delight, homers RIP the hair from their bodies to shamelessly parade their dirty bits around for all to see with the help of canuba wax! MAY GOD EITHER REDEEM THEM OR BROIL THEM IN HELL FOREVER!


The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,744
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 04:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Indeed Brother Bathfire, but I suspect the debauchery runs deeper than that! It is possible that this canuba wax is the same kind of wax they use to purge themselves of the GODly mass of hair that the LORD has blessed all humans with to help hide their shame. With gleeful delight, homers RIP the hair from their bodies to shamelessly parade their dirty bits around for all to see with the help of canuba wax! MAY GOD EITHER REDEEM THEM OR BROIL THEM IN HELL FOREVER!
I think you have it right there Brother B4G! Your moderate reply does you credit.




“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
  
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 05:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

O the iniquity!
Lord of Hosts, Bathfire! It is only 8am here and the thought of Haysus rubbing carnuba wax on my new limo made me toss my soft-boiled eggs and toast.

Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
openmind's Avatar
openmind openmind is offline
Unsaved trash
 
  
Posts: 55
Join Date: Dec 2008
openmind is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Thumbs down Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 07:58 PM
I would like to point out that M&Ms are the same shape as skittles, as well as also being rainbow.
So, are they gay too?
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 08:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by openmind View Post
I would like to point out that M&Ms are the same shape as skittles, as well as also being rainbow.
So, are they gay too?
These ones sure are:

May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
openmind's Avatar
openmind openmind is offline
Unsaved trash
 
  
Posts: 55
Join Date: Dec 2008
openmind is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 08:06 PM
because they are pink?

it is just a color, how can it make something homosexual?
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Revrend Lovejoy Revrend Lovejoy is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
  
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2009
Revrend Lovejoy is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
These ones sure are:

You faggot! This man is a warlock!! EVIL EVIL EVIL. The proceeds of those pink candies goes towards funding breast cancer research. Something god has inflicted upon our wives breast because people like YOU walk the earth.

My wife died because of faggots like Nobar King and I am a God fearing American reverend from Nothumbs, Tennessee

I have been told that Nobar King may too be a terrorist planning to rape many innocent young christain boys anus's

HE SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED GOD TOLD ME SO
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
JohnMDeez's Avatar
JohnMDeez JohnMDeez is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
  
Posts: 1
Join Date: Jan 2009
JohnMDeez is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-17-2009, 08:09 AM
I love skittles and men.
Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 1 of 12 1 234511 Last »

Bookmarks

Tags
aids, anti-christian conspircies, candy, fag-enablers, food for thought:let's eat!, homosexual agenda, homosexual war on the family, perverts, skittles, skittles causes aid, spreading aids, super-virus

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Hybrid Mode Hybrid Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved

Send an email to the Senior Pastor - Landover Baptist Church - Top