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Reload this Page Hello from a Saved Bastard
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Bible Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-04-2017, 01:58 PM
I just wanted to say hi, this seems to be quite an interesting forum. In case you're wondering about the bastard part, it's because as far as I can tell I'm not just mixed-race, but also part demon. It's not hard to figure out, the Bible even states that after the flood there were women who still slept with fallen angels, and considering how many different countries my lineage comes from, it wouldn't be surprising if I was a bit less human than most people. It's the best explanation I've found for why I'm as tall and strong as I am, as well as why my mind and perceptive abilities are unnaturally faster and stronger than everyone else around me.

Lineage aside, I am without doubt a sinner saved through the grace of God. I have gone from growing up scared of Hell to admiring it. I am awestruck by the wisdom, power, and glory of the One who sent His Son to die for me and save me from the terrible consequences of my sin.


Yours in Christ,
A Bastard Son of God
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Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation Alan Swallows is offline
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-04-2017, 02:11 PM
Hi.

Are you saying you're illegitimate or mixed race?

Because if you're illegitimate, that could be a problem.

Deuteronomy 23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord.

But if you're mixed race, then there could be some hope. The Samaritans were a mixed race and some of them believed in Jesus (John 4:39-42).

So why don't you share with us your testimony? How did you find Jesus? What's your favorite Bible passage? Where do you now go to church?
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-04-2017, 02:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan Swallows View Post
Hi.

Are you saying you're illegitimate or mixed race?

Because if you're illegitimate, that could be a problem.

Deuteronomy 23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord.

But if you're mixed race, then there could be some hope. The Samaritans were a mixed race and some of them believed in Jesus (John 4:39-42).

So why don't you share with us your testimony? How did you find Jesus? What's your favorite Bible passage? Where do you now go to church?
Oh I'm legitimate, just very mixed. I came to know Christ at a young age, my favourite verse is Joshua 1:9, and I currently go to a Presbyterian Church in central Pennsylvania.
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Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation Alan Swallows is offline
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-04-2017, 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
Oh I'm legitimate, just very mixed.
So how has the Lord scourged you lately?

Hebrews 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
Hebrews 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
Hebrews 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.


And there are other things we want to know. How many sons have issued from your loins? What kind of funeral plan do you currently have?
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-04-2017, 02:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Alan Swallows View Post
So how has the Lord scourged you lately?

Hebrews 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
Hebrews 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
Hebrews 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.


And there are other things we want to know. How many sons have issued from your loins? What kind of funeral plan do you currently have?
Defined chastened.


No sons (I'm only 18), and I don't see how my funeral plan is any of your business. Probably cremation though.
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-04-2017, 02:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
I don't see how my funeral plan is any of your business.
It's his business, literally. Have you seen his signature? Are those your perception powers you were braggin about in your OP?

1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation Alan Swallows is offline
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-04-2017, 02:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
Defined chastened.
What kind of trials have you had?

Quote:
No sons (I'm only 18), and I don't see how my funeral plan is any of your business. Probably cremation though.
A lot of people don't like to think about it, but we're all going to die one day.

Hebrews 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:

Except those who are alive when Jesus comes back.

First Corinthians 15:51 Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,

So what drew you to the Presbyterians?
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-04-2017, 05:40 PM
Hi, welcome to the forum.

Concerning your user name, it would be necessary to establish whether any of your forebears were illegitimate too. If your great-great-great-great-great-grandfather for example had been born out of wedlock or to parents whose wedding ceremony was not one recognised by God the bastard curse would still have a few generations to run. Similarly if 9 generations had remained continent but grandmother slipped up just that once when producing one of your parents then it's beck to 10 generations.

With very mixed ancestry a heathen strand is almost inevitable: 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, 32 great-great-great grandparents, 128 great-great-great-great-great-grandparents, how far back are we? About half way, so you see there's quite a lot of ancestors involved and just one is enough.

I hope you find the answers you're looking for here.
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
It's his business, literally. Have you seen his signature? Are those your perception powers you were braggin about in your OP?
Why would I make my funeral plans with someone who lives halfway across the country? Plus, his signature also says "NO cremations", while my post says I plan on being cremated. Two things which your powers of perception obviously missed.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan Swallows View Post
What kind of trials have you had?


A lot of people don't like to think about it, but we're all going to die one day.


So what drew you to the Presbyterians?

Let's see, family troubles, illness, near-death, death of relatives, I've had just a few.


My breath once stopped in my sleep due to my throat closing from an allergic reaction, so I think I understand death pretty well.


I grew up in a Presbyterian church.
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
[...]

My breath once stopped in my sleep due to my throat closing from an allergic reaction, so I think I understand death pretty well.
[...]
Hello Bastard,

How did you recover from that ordeal? Did someone save you?

Kind regards,

Roland

Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
Why would I make my funeral plans with someone who lives halfway across the country? Plus, his signature also says "NO cremations", while my post says I plan on being cremated. Two things which your powers of perception obviously missed.
Hey, what's with the hostility? This is a friendly place, a family if you will! We're a peaceful and hospitable community and you might hurt someone's feelings with that kind of mean talk.

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
Hi, welcome to the forum.

Concerning your user name, it would be necessary to establish whether any of your forebears were illegitimate too. If your great-great-great-great-great-grandfather for example had been born out of wedlock or to parents whose wedding ceremony was not one recognised by God the bastard curse would still have a few generations to run. Similarly if 9 generations had remained continent but grandmother slipped up just that once when producing one of your parents then it's beck to 10 generations.

With very mixed ancestry a heathen strand is almost inevitable: 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, 32 great-great-great grandparents, 128 great-great-great-great-great-grandparents, how far back are we? About half way, so you see there's quite a lot of ancestors involved and just one is enough.

I hope you find the answers you're looking for here.
2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024, 2048, 4096, 8192
Yes, I think I understand binary expansion with regard to ancestry.


I don't think you however understood my original post; I'm a bastard not necessarily because of any marital illegitimacy, but because of certain of my distant ancestors being demons.
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
...I grew up in a Presbyterian church.
Hello Bastard,

How did you recover from that ordeal? Did someone save you?

Kind regards,

Roland Didymus

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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Hey, what's with the hostility? This is a friendly place, a family if you will! We're a peaceful and hospitable community and you might hurt someone's feelings with that kind of mean talk.
Don't take it personally, that's my normal dry, sarcastic sense of humour.
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
Don't take it personally, that's my normal dry, sarcastic sense of humour.
It almost made me cry.

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
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Posts: 13,151
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024, 2048, 4096, 8192
Yes, I think I understand binary expansion with regard to ancestry.


I don't think you however understood my original post; I'm a bastard not necessarily because of any marital illegitimacy, but because of certain of my distant ancestors being demons.
As cited before, God doesn't care about your ancestry past the last 10 generations. Why should we?

God created fossils to test our faith.

* * *

My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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Roland Roland is offline
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Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
[...]
I don't think you however understood my original post; I'm a bastard not necessarily because of any marital illegitimacy, but because of certain of my distant ancestors being demons.
Hello Bastard,

How can you be a bastard demon? You either are a demon or not. Do you think you are a demon and if so, what has it to do with your lineage?

Awaiting your answer,

Roland

Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Bastard1212 Bastard1212 is offline
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Bastard1212 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Hello Bastard,

How did you recover from that ordeal? Did someone save you?

Kind regards,

Roland Didymus
I suffocated and then I woke up with a sore throat. The doctor confirmed that I had an allergic reaction. I guess God isn't done with me yet.
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Bastard1212 Bastard1212 is offline
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Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
Hello Bastard,

How can you be a bastard demon? You either are a demon or not. Do you think you are a demon and if so, what has it to do with your lineage?

Awaiting your answer,

Roland
The Bible answers your first question for you. I'm sure you've heard of nephilim. That's where my lineage comes in; because of it I'm not fully a demon, but not fully human either
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Roland Roland is offline
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Nutjob Meatball Worshiper Beastiality Hellbound Heathen Bleeding heart liebral Eurotrash Glutton Condemned Reaper Frenchie Barney Spaghettarian Piratefish Grammar Nazi Drunk Numbers Nazi Perv Stalker Panda Sinner Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars One Year/1000 posts Probing for Jesus Chili Chemtrail Confused about midget porn

 
Posts: 2,207
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Hello from a Saved Bastard - 01-05-2017, 03:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bastard1212 View Post
I suffocated and then I woke up with a sore throat. The doctor confirmed that I had an allergic reaction. I guess God isn't done with me yet.
Hello Bastard,

I´ll respond to this answer although it was not the question Didymus asked. How can you suffocate, die and then wake up? This does not make any sense. Suffocating and subsequently dying does, the waking up after that does not.

Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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