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  • Current Freehold Ladies, Please

    Sisters,

    As the purchase of a condo for Mother and Father is nearing a close, I am trying to focus on a location where I can sell my pie (and other delights). His Honor the Mayor has expressed an interest in my business, and I want to satisfy his interest.

    I am told that a lovely storefront is located at 777 Paul Crouch Avenue. Can someone take time this weekend to stroll by and see if it looks like a place where my wares would be adequately displayed? Am I right that there is a Bible store at 779?

    If 777 is appropriate (7 is God's perfect number, after all), I want to be sure that I can have a reasonably sized kitchen, room for storage of ingredients, refrigeration, and a back alley. I want the back alley to not be too tight so men can enter there freely to bring me what I need, since I prefer larger trucks rather than a lot of tiny ones.

    The store area should be capable of being a bright, welcoming place. Room to display what I'm selling, along with a place where people can enjoy it on-site. I want to have a small prayer chapel there, if possible.

    I will pay a finder's fee to those that can help me out. Perhaps a few of you could make it a joint venture and have a lovely day walking the heated streets of Freehold. No worries about winter there!

    I plan to post (with permission) in the men's area to ask for some intelligent help regarding finances, management, etc. since my feeble mind just can't handle those things. And ladies, I hope you'll come to the decorating party! I may have a contest for window treatments. I'm puzzled about colors, etc.

    Drapes, carpet, etc. all have to be perfect and have a nice match, but not too one-sided. Thanks, Sisters! I love you all. I can't wait until we're neighbors.

    Your friend in Jesus,
    NRL
    1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
    Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
    Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
    Locations in 50 States and Canada
    !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
    Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
    Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

  • #2
    Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

    Hello, dear. I asked my husband, who asked Jimmy-Roy, who used to work for a company that delivered meat in downtown Freehold and learned his way around the back alleys that way. What I've been told is that that back alley should be entirely suitable for deliveries.
    1 Cor. 11:8-9: For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

      Excuse me ladies but I am not too comfortable with the idea of a decent White womans pie for sale on the streets of Freehold. The idea of the smell of fresh pie will cause young boys to waiver in thier daily trek to Bible school and will not doubt cause the blood of the savage nigras to boil. I now how those people are and once they have had a slice, you will not see them again until the next SNAP day. Mrs Peters is right, it would better provided on a outcall home delivery basis to the Freehold Westin.
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

        One word, ladies: Wild Negroes.

        They steal pies like a chinaman eats raw fish brains.

        You'll need security.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          ...You'll need security.
          Their pies will be quite safe with Bobby-Joe around.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            One word, ladies: Wild Negroes.
            Do you actually have them in Freehold? Has a gated community been considered to keep them and other undesirables out?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

              Sisters,

              In subservience to the men, I have decided not to open my shop in Freehold. I will continue to bake at home. My dividends from Google and other stocks will allow me to tithe locally rather than in Iowa, and the Lord will bless those efforts as I continue to provide my pie to hungry customers here. Why would the Landover Baptist church need my millions in tithes or the millions I was willing to invest in the community? I can think of no good reason. GLORY!

              NRL
              1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
              Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
              Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
              Locations in 50 States and Canada
              !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
              Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
              Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

                Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                I have decided not to open my shop in Freehold.
                I was looking forward to more hot juicy pie in Freehold.
                I Jesus!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

                  Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                  Sisters,

                  In subservience to the men, I have decided not to open my shop in Freehold. I will continue to bake at home. My dividends from Google and other stocks will allow me to tithe locally rather than in Iowa, and the Lord will bless those efforts as I continue to provide my pie to hungry customers here. Why would the Landover Baptist church need my millions in tithes or the millions I was willing to invest in the community? I can think of no good reason. GLORY!

                  NRL
                  Sister

                  You seem to have misconstrued our Pastors advice for your protection with a denial.

                  Where else but here would you please the LORD with your moist and warm pie?

                  Leviticus 26:31

                  And I will make your cities waste, and bring your sanctuaries unto desolation, and I will not smell the savour of your sweet odours.

                  Where but here can GOD stick HIS finger down and indent it deeply upon your pie? Where but here would JESUS's nostrils move to smell the lingering odor of a sliced pie, spreading as it flows to fill the hole left by the first cut?

                  PRAISE THE LORD!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

                    Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                    Sisters,

                    In subservience to the men, I have decided not to open my shop in Freehold. I will continue to bake at home. My dividends from Google and other stocks will allow me to tithe locally rather than in Iowa, and the Lord will bless those efforts as I continue to provide my pie to hungry customers here. Why would the Landover Baptist church need my millions in tithes or the millions I was willing to invest in the community? I can think of no good reason. GLORY!

                    NRL
                    That's so sad, Sister Naomi. I was considering seeking employment in your enterprise.
                    God created fossils to test our faith.

                    * * *

                    My favorite LBC sermons:
                    True Christians are Perfect!
                    True Christian™ Love.
                    Salvation™ made Easy!
                    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                    God HATES Rational Thinking!
                    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

                      I like pie.
                      God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

                        Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                        That's so sad, Sister Naomi. I was considering seeking employment in your enterprise.
                        Perhaps I could open a franchise where you are; in this way, you can praise the Lord with pie and earn money for yarn, oil soap, and other necessities. Is there a storefront nearby?

                        NRL
                        1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                        Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                        Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                        Locations in 50 States and Canada
                        !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                        Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                        Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

                          Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                          Perhaps I could open a franchise where you are; in this way, you can praise the Lord with pie and earn money for yarn, oil soap, and other necessities. Is there a storefront nearby?

                          NRL
                          Oh, Naomi, you would love my little town in Northern Michigan! I'm not aware of an existing pie store, and there is a great need, lots of potential clients in the area. There is an Indian casino nearby, and I'm sure we could attract it's clients, and in the surrounding rural areas we have lots of hunters who would always go for some pie, and we also have some Amish (or Mennonites, I can't tell the difference) - apparently, the Amish men don't get as much pie at home as they would like to. In addition, there are some colleges and a university nearby, and you know that pie is the only thing university students can think about.

                          God created fossils to test our faith.

                          * * *

                          My favorite LBC sermons:
                          True Christians are Perfect!
                          True Christian™ Love.
                          Salvation™ made Easy!
                          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                          Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                          God HATES Rational Thinking!
                          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

                            Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                            Oh, Naomi, you would love my little town in Northern Michigan! I'm not aware of an existing pie store, and there is a great need, lots of potential clients in the area. There is an Indian casino nearby, and I'm sure we could attract it's clients, and in the surrounding rural areas we have lots of hunters who would always go for some pie, and we also have some Amish (or Mennonites, I can't tell the difference) - apparently, the Amish men don't get as much pie at home as they would like to. In addition, there are some colleges and a university nearby, and you know that pie is the only thing university students can think about.

                            As some already stated wild negreos could still be a big problem, especially if there is a casino nearby.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please

                              Originally posted by KateSanders View Post
                              As some already stated wild negreos could still be a big problem, especially if there is a casino nearby.
                              Oh, dear, you don't know a thing about Michigan, do you. We keep all blacks safely locked up in that hell hole called Detroit and some other equally miserable places in the southern part of the state. Northern Michigan is 100% white. We are, after all, one of the most racially segregated states in our great Nation.
                              God created fossils to test our faith.

                              * * *

                              My favorite LBC sermons:
                              True Christians are Perfect!
                              True Christian™ Love.
                              Salvation™ made Easy!
                              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                              Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                              God HATES Rational Thinking!
                              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                              Comment

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