[Citadel]

Haha. You can do both. I don't like life anyway.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Citadel

Haha. You can do both. I don't like life anyway.

That surely explains your eagerness to enter Hell, friend.

But, you know, if things aren't going your way, all you have to do is turn to Jesus. He can fix ANY problem you might have, if He so chooses!

Why, just check out our new friend Klairebear! She's cursed with dyslexia and writes like a drooling retarded, yet she still praises Jesus, crying out a hearty "Halfalujha!" (Halleluja.) She knows that He doesn't "fix" her because that would make her less creative; the two are inextricably linked, and she tells us that God can't take away one without taking the other as well.

(We're concerned that she's worshipping a false God who is NOT all-powerful, because God could easily remove His curse without making her less creative . . . but don't tell her that. She's INCHES from Salvation!)

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Citadel

Haha. You can do both. I don't like life anyway.

That's the differnce between True Christians™ and unsaved scum like you boy; We LOVE the life that Jesus gave us. We aren't hateful, bitter, angry people like you atheistic monkey-worshipers have nothing worth living for. That's why you spend your time looking for ways to mock Jesus and disprove His existance. Good luck with that!

I have never met a happy atheist in my life! I'll bet you're one of these emo queers who cuts himself for fun.

[Citadel]

Now there's proof that Jesus isn't real. My therapist's name is Jonathan.

Well in any case. Thanks for giving me a place to vent out my antireligious garbage. I shall get back to drunkenly masturbating while lying about having cheated on my wife to my retarded gay lover (who's wife i've mudered) on the phone.

Have a wonderful day o/

[Citadel]

>.>
<.<

Wait.

If God watches everything then he should be watching my wretched unsaved ass posting all of this. Smite me now!

...
...
go go go!

[Citadel]

Is double-posting a sin?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Citadel

Now there's proof that Jesus isn't real. My therapist's name is Jonathan.

Well in any case. Thanks for giving me a place to vent out my antireligious garbage. I shall get back to drunkenly masturbating while lying about having cheated on my wife to my retarded gay lover (who's wife i've mudered) on the phone.

Have a wonderful day o/

Were you trying to shock us, kid?

What are you, 12?

[Citadel]

No I'm 11.

Close though.

[Citadel]

Holy shit, i AM 11, and I just realized i lied when the forum sign up script asked me for my age!

:'(

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Citadel

Holy shit, i AM 11, and I just realized i lied when the forum sign up script asked me for my age!

:'(

Oh, dear.

Jesus hates people who lie.

It was nice knowing you . . . enjoy Hell.

[trashkitty]

I know all of you are sure you know in the depths of your soul that God is real. I agree that must be wonderful for you, I am happy for all of you. But no one on this earth will ever be able to prove who is right. No one will ever have an answer. so why do you feel the need to impose your faith on others? To spread your so called truth and condemn those that don't agree with you to hell?
and please spare me the bible bit - it is the creation of man and subject to as much doubt as any other religious text.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by trashykitty

I know all of you are sure you know in the depths of your soul that God is real. I agree that must be wonderful for you, I am happy for all of you. But no one on this earth will ever be able to prove who is right. No one will ever have an answer. so why do you feel the need to impose your faith on others? To spread your so called truth and condemn those that don't agree with you to hell?
and please spare me the bible bit - it is the creation of man and subject to as much doubt as any other religious text.

It is quite simple, Sister. If you believe, you are Saved™. If you are wrong, you have lost nothing.

[trashkitty]

You will never know what you have lost

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by trashykitty

You will never know what you have lost

Well you're going to find out what you've lost the moment you wake up in hell.


Let me explain to you how being unsaved trash works when you die.

You're dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Hit that Paypal button at the bottom of this page at once to set up a Salvation™ guaranteeing tithing schedule.
Surrender you soul to Jesus and
JOIN US.
Praise Jesus!

[trashkitty]

You're sounding a bit like a cult now preacher man

You're asking me for money?


now that's a laugh

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by trashykitty

I know all of you are sure you know in the depths of your soul that God is real. I agree that must be wonderful for you, I am happy for all of you.

No, you're not. You're trying to prevent us sharing God's Love with others, because you hate them and want them to go to Hell along with you.

why do you feel the need to impose your faith on others? To spread your so called truth and condemn those that don't agree with you to hell?

We don't condemn anyone to anything. We tell them what the Bible says.

God commands us to share His Word with the whole world. He also tells us that anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus will go to Hell.

What sort of people would we be if we allowed sodomites to continue sodomizing, without telling them that God calls them abominations? What would we be to let adulterers adulterate, fornicators fornicate, or women preach in church, without telling them God's Word on the matter? We'd be HELPING them go to Hell!

Why do you hate your fellow man so much?

Why did you join our Christian church forum to attack God and insult us? We didn't come to you; you're the one trying to impose your lack of faith upon US.

[trashkitty]

Excuse me ?

I am not the one spewing racial slurs, gay bashing, or promoting wife beating

YOU the are the ones who are hateful,YOU hate everyone that doesn't agree with you

[trashkitty]

cat got your tongue rodimer?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by trashykitty

Excuse me ?

I am not the one spewing racial slurs, gay bashing, or promoting wife beating

YOU the are the ones who are hateful,YOU hate everyone that doesn't agree with you

So you admit you are anti-God and anti-Bible. It figures.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by trashykitty

cat got your tongue rodimer?

It is against the rules of the forum to make a bad pun with your own username and make Rodimer look silly. It is even worse if it makes me crack up instead of thinking of JESUS! Watch yourself, Missy!