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Creation Science The origins of life and the earth from a creationist (Biblical) perspective.

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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 02-28-2009, 10:30 AM

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Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
That's a very valid point Mrs Roberts.
I remember one time when my dear departed husband was alive.
There was a loud scream from the Bathroom.
My poor husband had somehow slipped on some soap in the shower, and fell backwards on to one of these Demonic Cucumbers (which just happened to be pointing upright).
It took a team of Surgeons quite some time to remove it.
We never had Cucumber sandwiches again, after that day.
I think he re-lived it several times.
That's very interesting Sister Talitha.
Little Robby Jr. fell in the shower last year. Upon examination I found a large red mark on his little bottom, but I just assumed it was caused by the fall.
Now that I think of it, he used to sing loudly in the shower also.
This is suddenly quite disturbing!
I will now buy only small cucumbers and will immediately cut them into small pieces.
And little Robby Jr. is going to have another red bottom tomorrow. This time from the paddle, not the shower!
A mother's work is never done.


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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 02-28-2009, 11:04 AM

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Robert Roberts View Post
A mother's work is never done.
For sure, Sister.
I have to keep reminding my Housekeeper to feed my daughter ever four hours.

As far as accidents in the bathroom, I also suggest that there are no hair brushes, Light bulbs or upside down chairs lying around.
It's just amazing, the number of accidents in our household.



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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 02-28-2009, 11:38 AM

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Originally Posted by WhySoCentrist View Post
Uh...that's not what I said. Back what up with scripture?? All I said is that humans are the only primates who cultivate cucumbers, so of course we're the only ones that eat them! Primates in zoos are often given vegetables like that, so I guess they do eat them, but only in captivity.

Maybe I just don't understand what the point of this post is...
Are you trying to say that monkeys should be growing things? I think that's pretty mean. They're just dumb animals after all...


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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 02-28-2009, 11:44 PM

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Robert Roberts View Post
When God instructed Noah to build the Ark and gather two of every species to take on the journey, did He include cucumbers? Or was that something the devil scurried onboard at the last minute under cover? Just a thought.
Silly woman, cucumbers aren't animals! Plant life was somehow made immune to the flood by the power of God.
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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 03-01-2009, 01:05 PM

That's true.
I'm wondering though, how did Noah feed all the herbivores on the Ark?
I still say the devil snuck a cucumber in there.


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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 03-01-2009, 07:17 PM

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Robert Roberts View Post
That's true.
I'm wondering though, how did Noah feed all the herbivores on the Ark?
I still say the devil snuck a cucumber in there.
First of all, it's not up to a woman to question GOD's work or spend too much time thinking about cucumbers.

However, it is a coincidence because this was exactly the subject of my Doctoral dissertation! I proved that it would have been impossible to get enough food on the ark to feed any of the animals, and there wasn't enough manpower....or shovels for that matter...to clean up after them. So the only possibility is that GOD filled their bellies with manna from Heaven which, as we all know, is evacuated as rainbows.

So none of the animals were hungry, everyone got along, and even the two flies slept for the entire journey because GOD suspended aging on the ark. Only the evil creatures that weren't specified in the float plan suffered and drowned for forty days and forty nights. Finally some white doves woke up and started flying around until one day they returned with an olive branch.

Fortunately my dissertation ended before I had to explain how an olive tree got on top of Mt. Ararat, but I can safely say it was a miracle as well!

PRAISE!


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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 03-02-2009, 01:20 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
First of all, it's not up to a woman to question GOD's work or spend too much time thinking about cucumbers.

However, it is a coincidence because this was exactly the subject of my Doctoral dissertation! I proved that it would have been impossible to get enough food on the ark to feed any of the animals, and there wasn't enough manpower....or shovels for that matter...to clean up after them. So the only possibility is that GOD filled their bellies with manna from Heaven which, as we all know, is evacuated as rainbows.

So none of the animals were hungry, everyone got along, and even the two flies slept for the entire journey because GOD suspended aging on the ark. Only the evil creatures that weren't specified in the float plan suffered and drowned for forty days and forty nights. Finally some white doves woke up and started flying around until one day they returned with an olive branch.

Fortunately my dissertation ended before I had to explain how an olive tree got on top of Mt. Ararat, but I can safely say it was a miracle as well!

PRAISE!
Well that explains it!
Thank you for pointing that out Pastor.
I don't think I'll be planting cucumbers this year, just to be safe.
I'll replace them with zucchini.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Robert Roberts


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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 03-12-2009, 03:57 PM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
I am willing to offer a $10,000 USD reward to any secularist who can prove my arguement wrong.

Give it your best shot Darwnists.
I want to bump this up. The reward still stands atheist, secularists, deists and non-Christian theists.

Any takers?



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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 03-12-2009, 05:34 PM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
I want to bump this up. The reward still stands atheist, secularists, deists and non-Christian theists.

Any takers?
I don't think you'll get any serious takers, Bobby Joe. Your argument is air-tight. They're just going to ignore it and hope it goes away.

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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-15-2009, 03:04 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
I don't think you'll get any serious takers, Bobby Joe. Your argument is air-tight. They're just going to ignore it and hope it goes away.

Pastor Billy-Reuben
Looks like it Pastor. Still no reply from the monkey worships.

Looks like it checkmate for Darwin.



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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-18-2009, 04:52 PM

Nothing at all wrong with the cucumber, and it can be used to make a very nice Pasta salad....

Cucumber Pasta Salad
INGREDIENTS

* 30 g rotelle pasta
* 4 English cucumbers - peeled, quartered and chopped
* 4 stalks celery, chopped
* 1 large onion, chopped
* 240 g creamy salad dressing
* 235 ml buttermilk
* 4 g celery seed

DIRECTIONS

1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain.
2. In large bowl, combine pasta, cucumber, celery and onion. In small bowl, combine dressing, buttermilk and celery seed. Toss salad with dressing and serve.


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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-18-2009, 06:12 PM

What kind of man eats salad?
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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-18-2009, 06:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
What kind of man eats salad?
As disgusting as it is to relate with atheists "tossing the salad" doesn't refer to a Godly, nutritious meal.



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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-18-2009, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
What kind of man eats salad?
Worse than that, what kind of man posts recipes?!!?


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Default Re: Cumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-19-2009, 01:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Perhaps a good move Pastor. Who knows what your neighbor truly means by the word "pickle" and our Lord has tasked us with being our brother's keeper.
That neighbor's cucumber plants were starting to get tall, so I did like I said and sprayed them real good with Round-Up late Thursday night. By yesterday morning, they were dead.

I don't know who saw me and ratted me out, but he came over today banging on my door and demanding to know why I killed his cucumbers. I explained everything, and the look on his face was priceless. He looked like he didn't know whether to crack up laughing or punch me.

He told me I was crazy. Well, I'm not the one growing tough skinned phallic vegetables in the sight of a vengeful God. THAT'S crazy.

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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-19-2009, 11:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
What kind of man eats salad?
It will be summer soon, a salad is nice in summer, and being confidant in my sexuality I do not fear some foods in the way that one less confident might do

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Worse than that, what kind of man posts recipes?!!?
And would you care to tell me just what percentage of the worlds top chefs are NOT men? Mind you that has more to do with sexual inequalities in the work place, but the point still stands that plenty of men like to cook


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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-20-2009, 12:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Feddie View Post
And would you care to tell me just what percentage of the worlds top chefs are NOT men?
0%
Quote:
Mind you that has more to do with sexual inequalities in the work place, but the point still stands that plenty of men like to cook
You know that sort of statement is the sort of thing that Demoncrats and fluffy-bunny False Christians believe. The truth of the matter is somewhat more prosaic. God puts man in charge of women for a reason – brain-size.

A woman’s place is in the kitchen of her home where a man might be around to supervise. I’m sure you would not want


(a) your wife employed
(b) her out until all hours of the night
(c ) to think, even for one moment, that she had any authority to tell male sous-chefs or waiters what to do
(d) her to give herself a headache thinking of new recipes on her own without the women’s church group to consult
(e) expect her to create new and complex dishes for a variety of other men.
(f) out touching things at that time of the month and
(h) deserting your many children.

No sir, lest you forget, a woman’s place is in the … (complete this well-known phrase or saying.)





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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-20-2009, 01:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
0% You know that sort of statement is the sort of thing that Demoncrats and fluffy-bunny False Christians believe. The truth of the matter is somewhat more prosaic. God puts man in charge of women for a reason – brain-size.

A woman’s place is in the kitchen of her home where a man might be around to supervise. I’m sure you would not want


(a) your wife employed
(b) her out until all hours of the night
(c ) to think, even for one moment, that she had any authority to tell male sous-chefs or waiters what to do
(d) her to give herself a headache thinking of new recipes on her own without the women’s church group to consult
(e) expect her to create new and complex dishes for a variety of other men.
(f) out touching things at that time of the month and
(h) deserting your many children.

No sir, lest you forget, a woman’s place is in the … (complete this well-known phrase or saying.)
And how does this support the notion that a man should not post a recipe now and again?


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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-20-2009, 01:32 AM

How does it not?
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Default Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists - 05-20-2009, 01:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Feddie View Post
And how does this support the notion that a man should not post a recipe now and again?
Mr Feddie, I suspect something in your diet has addled your brain.

1. You are not a chef
2. You should not be passing yourself off to married women on this forum
3. How are you to know that certain husbands have not forbidden their wife from making this dish? It is an affront to their dignity and authority
4. nor attempting to over-excite nubile young ladies without the knowledge of their father
5. Such exotic dishes may raise the humors of all women and cause discomfort amongst the males of Landover.
6. You give an effeminate impression that you are concerned with the ways of the kitchen.

Sufficient?





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