The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 9
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ (the desert town not the heathen city)
|
|
Hi! -
07-12-2016, 01:51 AM
Hello!
I am so grateful to my dear sister wife Laura for introducing me to this forum. I have been praying to find a resource such as this, where I can get advice and fellowship from proper God-fearing True Christians.
Rest assured that both Laura and I have permission from our husband to take time away from cooking, cleaning and baby-making to post on the forum.
It's a tall order to ask me to choose a favourite Bible verse, but this one always reminds me of my beloved:
"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste."
YiC
Alice Malcolm
Devoted Second Wife to Dr. Ian Malcolm
Devoted Sister Wife to Laura Malcolm
As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:19
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hi! -
07-12-2016, 03:14 AM
You should know the Holy Bible tells us to follow the law of the land, and currently that prohibits polygamy. Yes, we know polygamy is perfectly Biblical, but so is following the law (1 Peter 2:13 ). So tell us, where do you go to church, how did you find Jesus, and why do you think you can disregard what He says?
Welcome to the forums, dear.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 9
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ (the desert town not the heathen city)
|
|
Re: Hi! -
07-12-2016, 03:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
You should know the Holy Bible tells us to follow the law of the land, and currently that prohibits polygamy. Yes, we know polygamy is perfectly Biblical, but so is following the law (1 Peter 2:13 ). So tell us, where do you go to church, how did you find Jesus, and why do you think you can disregard what He says?
Welcome to the forums, dear.
|
Thank you for the warm welcome, sister.
I bet your forgiveness for disobeying the forum rules. I attend a temple called the Blessed Chosen in Phoenix, AZ (not the heathen town but a small settlement in the desert). While in a long ago time and place I was a stinky liberal social worker who removed Christian soldiers from their parents' homes. I hope that by living a God-fearing life and accepting Jesus, that I can atone for the sins of my past life.
Sister, you have touched upon the one element of our situation that gives me pause. We are wed according to the laws of the Holy Scripture, which is the one true law.
Devoted Second Wife to Dr. Ian Malcolm
Devoted Sister Wife to Laura Malcolm
As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:19
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hi! -
07-12-2016, 03:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alice Malcolm
Sister, you have touched upon the one element of our situation that gives me pause. We are wed according to the laws of the Holy Scripture, which is the one true law.
|
My dear, the one true law commands you to submit yourself to the law of the land (1 Peter 2:13 ). There is no shame in it for Jesus will use it for His Glory (Romans 13:1-14).
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 9
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ (the desert town not the heathen city)
|
|
Re: Hi! -
07-12-2016, 03:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
My dear, the one true law commands you to submit yourself to the law of the land (1 Peter 2:13 ). There is no shame in it for Jesus will use it for His Glory (Romans 13:1-14).
|
My husband has sought counsel with the Prophet on this issue, and he has assured us that our congregation is well protected from the godless heathens that govern the land we must presently call home.
Indeed, as part of our tithing, all men of our congregation are required to purchase, own and operate AR-15s.
Devoted Second Wife to Dr. Ian Malcolm
Devoted Sister Wife to Laura Malcolm
As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:19
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hi! -
07-12-2016, 04:09 AM
"The Prophet"?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 9
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ (the desert town not the heathen city)
|
|
Re: Hi! -
07-12-2016, 04:21 AM
The Prophet of the Blessed Chosen is a wise pastor who receives the word of God on a weekly basis. We are fortunate that He choose to grace our Prophet and by extension, our congregation, with his Holy Spirit.
Devoted Second Wife to Dr. Ian Malcolm
Devoted Sister Wife to Laura Malcolm
As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:19
|
|
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
|
|
Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
|
|
Re: Hi! -
07-12-2016, 04:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alice Malcolm
The Prophet of the Blessed Chosen is a wise pastor who receives the word of God on a weekly basis...
|
And you have no idea just how wrong that is.
The True Christians™ believe that the Word of God has been freely available to all (since 1611), no weekly updates necessary (or wanted):
Revelation 22:18 "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:"
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|