THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only. |
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 02:22 AM
We do this every year and I'm sure we have saved many children from evil toys. Hopefully nobody needs to be reminded about the Harry Potter Broomstick, so I won't list it this year. But I do want to put the bad old Ouija Board on the list not because it encourages witchcraft and Satanism, but because there's new evidence that Ouija can cause homosexuality! So I will start the list with Ouija. Please add your banned toys . . . good children are counting on our advice. Mother Glynndie
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 02:42 AM
I also imagine that this goes without saying, but any and all VeggieTales should never be found within a True Christian's™ Home!
Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 01:59 PM
I know that the overwhelming majority of Saved® True Christian™ parents don't need to be told this, but there are certain dolls out there that you should never, ever, ever give to your children unless you want them to turn out like hellion or Darren:
Warning: Totally depraved link — do not click without adequate spiritual preparation and Bible reading beforehand.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 02:11 PM
Certainly no toys or related products from these two abominations should ever be allowed into Christian homes. The on-going, public homer relationship of Bert and Ernie are an affront to Jesus, and a favorite recruiting tool of sodomites everywhere.
Just look at those Christ-hating beady eyes that Bert sports...
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 03:34 PM
I won't comment on this "game" - in fact, I'm not even looking at it as I post:
Leave it to the un$avED and their Sinful, Sexular attitude of "Get them while they're young and that way you will always have them."
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 03:52 PM
Ban ANYTHING to do with that Harlot Snow White who performs all kind of wicked sexual sins with those 7 midgets.
I'm so pleased Mother Glendie has started this thread to help warn parents about the dangers of Toys.
Don't waste money on this trash. Give it to the Lord©
Leviticus 23:38
Beside the sabbaths of the LORD, and beside your gifts, and beside all your vows, and beside all your freewill offerings, which ye give unto the LORD.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Liebral Girlie-Man
Forum Member
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Posts: 163
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: a pedestrian-friendly community near main campus
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 04:15 PM
Ban any toys that the plutocrats buy from sweatshops in the developing world and sell through Wal-Mart at huge markups to teach our children to worship the military/industrial complex. Thank Mother/Father God that the fair-trade store near us has educational wooden toys that we can buy for Kayla.
I still have to figure out what to get my wife for the winter holidays. Last year, she surprised me by making a donation to NPR in my name, so I have to think of something equally nifty to do for her this year.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 04:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darren Ingram-Myers
Ban any toys that the plutocrats buy from sweatshops in the developing world and sell through Wal-Mart at huge markups to teach our children to worship the military/industrial complex. Thank Mother/Father God that the fair-trade store near us has educational wooden toys that we can buy for Kayla.
I still have to figure out what to get my wife for the winter holidays. Last year, she surprised me by making a donation to NPR in my name, so I have to think of something equally nifty to do for her this year.
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Oh, my Gracious GOD, you horrible Girly-Man! I'm only happy that you apparently can't speak American and that I can barely understand a Word that you are bleating out in that first paragraph!
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Certainly no toys or related products from these two abominations should ever be allowed into Christian homes. The on-going, public homer relationship of Bert and Ernie are an affront to Jesus, and a favorite recruiting tool of sodomites everywhere.
Just look at those Christ-hating beady eyes that Bert sports...
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Anyone with such a prominent unibrow is obviously a mooselimb from Towelheadistan. The show must be propaganda to teach children to worship the moon demon instead of Jesus.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 10:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unspeakable depravity
Tom of Finland
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Why oh why am I so unsurprised to find the Finndevils have their fingers in this wicked enterprise?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-22-2006, 11:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou
I know that the overwhelming majority of Saved® True Christian™ parents don't need to be told this, but there are certain dolls out there that you should never, ever, ever give to your children unless you want them to turn out like hellion or Darren:
Warning: Totally depraved link — do not click without adequate spiritual preparation and Bible reading beforehand.
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Of course, I had to click on that "totally depraved link" sort of like trying not to look at a train wreck! Anyway, call me shallow in a small town way, but why is Tattoo Carlos' rather skimpy thong so mis-shaped??? Or do I really want to know???
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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compassion personified
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-27-2006, 12:16 PM
Beware Australians bearing gifts; their mechanical animals are as randy and vulgar as the convicts who create them, and therefore have no place in the True Christian stocking.
"Wombat Devine" my foot!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-27-2006, 12:47 PM
Only terrorists would give this toy to a child. I'll boycott any shop that carries them!
Not only does it speak satanic mudslime incantaions, but it comes with a real dynamite fanny pack. This disgusts Jesus.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-27-2006, 06:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Only terrorists would give this toy to a child. I'll boycott any shop that carries them!
Not only does it speak satanic mudslime incantaions, but it comes with a real dynamite fanny pack. This disgusts Jesus.
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Leave it to the mooselimbs to come up with a doll that says that it likes ass-salami, whatever the heck that is. I wonder what other "beautiful Islamic phrases" it says in both towelhead gibberish and a real language — "Death to all Christians," perhaps?
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-27-2006, 07:29 PM
Life sized dolls are demonic and just asking for children to develop unhealthy perversions.
Concerned, Sister Thumper
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-27-2006, 09:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Only terrorists would give this toy to a child. I'll boycott any shop that carries them!
Not only does it speak satanic mudslime incantaions, but it comes with a real dynamite fanny pack. This disgusts Jesus.
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Aw, it probably doesn't matter anyway. When the mudslums get Word she's not wearing her burqa they'll crash all their carts into these Satanic Curses then stomp them into tiny pieces on the floor.
"Allah Akbar?"
Yeah - Right
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Liebral Girlie-Man
Forum Member
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Posts: 163
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: a pedestrian-friendly community near main campus
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-28-2006, 12:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Only terrorists would give this toy to a child. I'll boycott any shop that carries them!
Not only does it speak satanic mudslime incantaions, but it comes with a real dynamite fanny pack. This disgusts Jesus.
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I should get one of those for Kayla. It will teach her multiculturalism.
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Nasty and Mean-Spirited
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Posts: 564
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-28-2006, 12:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
We do this every year and I'm sure we have saved many children from evil toys. Hopefully nobody needs to be reminded about the Harry Potter Broomstick, so I won't list it this year. But I do want to put the bad old Ouija Board on the list not because it encourages witchcraft and Satanism, but because there's new evidence that Ouija can cause homosexuality! So I will start the list with Ouija. Please add your banned toys . . . good children are counting on our advice. Mother Glynndie
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Ouija boards rock. And they don't cause homosexuality.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-28-2006, 02:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hellion
Ouija boards rock. And they don't cause homosexuality.
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Oh GOD, Sisters - have you ever heard of such foolishness? I think this Child has been Eating too many Candy Canes!
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: BANNED Toys - Let's Make a List -
11-28-2006, 06:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hellion
Ouija boards rock. And they don't cause homosexuality.
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I knew it. You ARE related to Icky.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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