The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 02:06 PM
My friend, Mayor Timmy Mahoney up in Fargo, ND, called the other day and asked if there were gun owners in Freehold who would like to come up to Fargo to shoot some beavers.
Tim has a problem up there with beaver killing trees in the parks. Gun guys in Fargo like to use the trees for target practice but the beavers bring them down. Now, beaver kissing liberals are stopping the locals from having a beaver hunt. Mayor Timmy thinks some visitors with guns could get the job done.
I told Timmy there is nothing more ugly than a beaver--a rat with bad teeth. I said I'd put the word out here in Freehold to see if we could help.
http://www.inforum.com/news/3727928-...raws-criticism
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
|
|
Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 02:24 PM
SEE!? This is the result of Obama's "open border" policy with Canada. You think the Mexicans are bad? There is nothing worse than those overgrown Canadian rats. Sure they won't steal your job, but what is worse is the beavers are downing good tree's worthy of target practice!!!
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 857
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 03:38 PM
Beaver pelts are highly prized in Nunavut. They can be used to make extremely warm nassaks and pauluks.
Do you see this?
This is wrong. The fur goes on the inside. I think southerners have brain damage. They do not know how to survive.
I get my beaver pelts from Brother Enoch, but they have many holes in them. He does not like 'treekillers' and overkills them. When it's dead stop shooting it. I do not understand. We have no trees in Nunavut. If we did they would get in the way of us being able to see the land. How could we see the caribou if there was a tree in front of us?
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
|
|
The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 03:54 PM
It's important to make sure the beaver is dead, Kitty. You don't want that beaver pelt coming alive and chewing your face off when you open the next package from me right?
You still owe me postage from the last shipment, btw.
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 05:52 PM
I have killed a lot of beaver in my day and I look forward to destroying more. I would love to help.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 06:08 PM
May I suggest that we send the kids from our True Christian™ Children's Sharpshooters For Jesus club? They need the practice anyway.
I've always hated those things. And wouldn't you know that the most godless state in America ( Oregon) has chosen that rodent as it's official state symbol?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 06:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Kitty
Beaver pelts are highly prized in Nunavut. They can be used to make extremely warm nassaks and pauluks.
|
I never could understand the appeal of beaver myself, but I suppose the Good Lord put it on this earth for a reason. Just as long as I don't have to touch the thing.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 1
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: New York: The city of Pagans, Fags, and Jews (ughh)
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 10:55 PM
I wish I could kill some beavers, but "poaching" is illegal here, according to our pinko governor.
|
|
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
|
|
Posts: 14,451
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 11:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jambo4Jehovah
I wish I could kill some beavers, but "poaching" is illegal here, according to our pinko governor.
|
Hi. I noticed you put your location as: "Location: New York: The city of Pagans, Fags, and Jews (ughh)".
Why are you unhappy about being surrounded by so many opportunities to witness for the Lord?
Please address this question in your introduction thread in the Introduction Forum (just click on the "New Thread" button you'll find there, and be sure to follow the instructions at the top of the page).
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 11:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jambo4Jehovah
I wish I could kill some beavers, but "poaching" is illegal here, according to our pinko governor.
|
I'd suggest you head up to Fargo, Jambo, and get in on the fun. Just a couple of things, 1.) check in with Mayor Timmy when you get there, give him my regards and 2.) along with you rifle for the beavers pack some hand heat. It's the dangerous old west up there.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-23-2015, 12:32 AM
A controlled burn could force the beavers into the open, or just into another controlled burn.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Serving Jesus
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-23-2015, 12:48 AM
I have not yet killed a beaver. They are not found in my vicinity and I have not hunted them in the frozen north, which is their natural home. They seem ugly and useless. I doubt I'd go all the way to North Dakota to shoot one, but if a beaver was to come here, I'd like to ventilate one.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-23-2015, 02:27 AM
Here is what Mayor Timmy is up against. A woman with a hyphenated name is calling beaver killers terrible people. We need to get up there soon:
Letter: Awful of humans to kill off beavers
By Megan Bartholomay-Berreth
Email
There are few things that stun me in this world anymore, but I was completely disgusted with the Fargo Park Board’s decision to wipe out beaver populations along the Red River to “save trees.” This has to be one of the most egregious displays of nonsense veiled as a conservation act.
“We’ve planted new trees, and then they’re gone,” said Roger Gress, executive director of the parks district. Then stop planting trees, Roger. Last time I checked, the banks of the Red were all set in terms of tree fulfillment. So, you’re going to just murder colonies of beavers every time you feel like too many trees disappear? And you’re going to kill the beavers by either drowning them or trapping them, both gross and inhumane acts.
It seems like you’re treating the symptom and not the problem. What about beaver relocation? Or simply let the beavers have their trees because they’re an incredibly important part of a river ecosystem and that’s just how nature works. People love to see beavers down by the river. You are all awful human beings for doing this. Shame on you.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-23-2015, 04:34 PM
Why does she have such a strong hatred for trees? I thought all lesbeans were tree-huggy types. Gotta love them trees, right? Well, not 'her'. Did a tree beat her up on the playground when she was still a child and still a boy or something?
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-23-2015, 07:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
Why does she have such a strong hatred for trees? I thought all lesbeans were tree-huggy types. Gotta love them trees, right? Well, not 'her'. Did a tree beat her up on the playground when she was still a child and still a boy or something?
|
Perhaps she hates trees because they are phallic symbols. That's why I hate them. While I have nothing in common with lesbians, it makes sense that they don't like penis.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 857
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-23-2015, 10:41 PM
Why don't you like your penis Billy Bob? Did it not make enough sons for you?
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
|
|
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-24-2015, 09:43 AM
It looks like Mayor Timmy Mahoney might be one of those yellow dog democrats - the kind that might have some Republican blood in them that tries to save the taxpayers some money. Turn beaver killing into a sport and the problem will simply go away.
I might note that capitalism had solved the beaver problem by the end of the 19th Century when hunters and trappers had effectively wiped them out. It's been the pinko-enviro-commies that have brought them back - and before anyone gets on my case about this, note that beavers build "Lodges" just like the New World Order Free Masons.
Contrast this with the "Blue State" Democrats (Obama's Chicago) where they are paying over $4,000 each to remove these pests (just like the messicans that keep coming across the border).
Quote:
In Chicago, several beavers have returned and made a home near the Lincoln Park's North Pond. The "Lincoln Park Beaver" has not been as well received by the Chicago Park District and the Lincoln Park Conservancy, which was concerned over damage to trees in the area. In March 2009, they hired an exterminator to remove a beaver family using live traps, and accidentally killed the mother when she got caught in a snare and drowned. Relocation costs $4,000–$4,500 per animal. Scott Garrow, District Wildlife Biologist with the Illinois Department of Natural Resources, opined that relocating the beavers may be "a waste of time", as there are records of beaver recolonizing North Pond in Lincoln Park in 1994, 2003, 2004, 2008 and 2009. As of fall 2009, a new beaver lodge has appeared on North Pond's northwest bank.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_beaver
|
We all know the Franklin Roosevelt was a commie, but even he had some common sense to get some actual work out of the beaver. Now if we could actually teach beavers to take care of our lawns and stop destroying trees we could stop having to use the messicans.
Quote:
In the 1930s, the U.S. Government put 600 beaver to work alongside the Civilian Conservation Corps in projects to stop soil erosion by streams in Oregon, Washington, Wyoming, and Utah. At the time it was estimated that each beaver, whose initial cost was about $5, completed work worth $300.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_beaver
|
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-24-2015, 11:09 AM
It is my understanding that Beavers do not believe in the Risen Christ and categorically reject the Good News when preached to. They must be exterminated.
Quote:
Chronicles 15:13
That whosoever would not seek the Lord God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.
|
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-24-2015, 07:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
It is my understanding that Beavers do not believe in the Risen Christ and categorically reject the Good News when preached to. They must be exterminated.
|
What we True Christians™ are running into everywhere are humans and animals that do not believe in the risen Christ. I've noticed a lot of them, like the letter writer I linked, are women with hyphenated names.
I think I am correct that True Christian™ women always use the names of their fathers or that of their husbands and leave the previous name behind for ever.
In a way, this beaver hunt is a metaphor for the entire battle for Jesus.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|