Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
Unsaved trash, hellbound sinner
Under Investigation
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Posts: 22
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: on my way to hell
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
04-03-2011, 03:31 AM
I don't hate Jesus sir.
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 33
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: The open road
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
04-11-2011, 07:19 PM
Well, everybody has their kinks.......I heard he was into BDSM too!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 125
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Filthy Sodomite Los Angeles
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
04-17-2011, 05:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rocknroll
It's pretty obvious. He is a Christian who wanted to look-up if doing it was okay.
Just so you know, every guy does it whether consciously or unconsciously, if he hasn't seen action for about a month.
I like to believe that God looks away or does something else when I am doing it with a girl or m*st*rb*t*ng.
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Pervert! Many of us are devoted followers who would rather read our Bibles and pray than participate in self-love selfishness pleasures like that!
Use your bodies for what they are meant for. The marriage bed shall stay undefiled. (Hebrews 13:4)
If I caught my wife or kids masturbating, I would smack the Jesus right back into them!!
Proverbs 10: Wise men lay up knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction.
Proverbs 13:24 ~ He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 02:53 PM
Good, I like when people watch, it gets me all hot and hard.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 857
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 02:59 PM
Is Hell hot enough for you? Because that's where you're headed little girl.
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 03:01 PM
Uh, dumb bitch, i'm a guy, i was unaware females could "get hard" unless you have something to share, well?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 857
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 03:07 PM
Laugh it up, Chuckles, but it's Jesus who will have the last laugh when He throws you into the pit to burn in agony for all eternity.
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 03:08 PM
My troll powers have you in their grasp, yes, feel the anger, you secretly have a penis and want to have sex with women! that's what you were confessing, don't worry, i got it.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 857
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 03:16 PM
You didn't know women get erections? We do. You'd know that if you weren't a 15 year old virgin.
Now, call me a dumb bitch again, little boy.
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 03:19 PM
I'm 18 thank you, not a virgin and trust me the only women getting erections here is you, with your penis and all, you don't need to be ashamed it just means you're a freak.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 857
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 03:31 PM
One cannot lose one's virginity to oneself, little boy. Or are you confessing that your Daddy used to visit you in your bedroom after your Mommy went to sleep? You probably feel a lot of shame and guilt about that. You should. You sinned and caused your father to sin. You both will burn for all eternity, because of YOU.
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 03:35 PM
Trying to use guilt on someone, wow that's never been tried, actually i lost it to your mom, she was giving it away on the street corner, i don't usually go for 3 dollar whores, but this was an exception. I coulda been your daddy, but i convinced her to get the abortion, if she hadn't i woulda done it myself, i hate babies, crazy little bastards.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 857
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 03:39 PM
So you won't be reproducing? What a shame.
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-06-2011, 03:40 PM
I know, same here, i am so amazing if only there were more of me, thanks for seeing it my way.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-07-2011, 01:40 AM
Masturbation is normal and natural, especially for us young people, there is nothing wrong with masturbating, even if your dear book says so.
Masturbation can liberate stress, and can also prevent rapists from raping people, since they are satisfied. So I reject the idea that masturbating is a sin or whatever bad thing you call it.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,442
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-07-2011, 01:51 AM
Dear Friend,
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zefiroth
So I reject the idea that masturbating is a sin or whatever bad thing you call it.
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Thankfully, no one cares what you think.
Yours in Him,
BAB
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-07-2011, 01:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Born Again Bob
Dear Friend,
Thankfully, no one cares what you think.
Yours in Him,
BAB
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I hope this site is not full of hypocrites like you.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,442
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
06-07-2011, 02:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zefiroth
I hope this site is not full of hypocrites like you.
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Dear Friend,
How am I a hypocrite, pray tell? I never pretended to be interested in what you had to say. I'm not that good an actor.
Yours in His Disinterest in You,
BAB
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 145
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Godless Europistan
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
08-23-2011, 02:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord
You young Christian males pay heed to the wisdom here, you're making Jesus cry .
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Dear friends
Can someone help me ?
Someone please write down exactly what he sais in this video ?
Because I cannot understand it, but I understand the writings and text.
Thanks
Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
08-23-2011, 02:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul the gypsy scum
Dear friends
Can someone help me ?
Someone please write down exactly what he sais in this video ?
Because I cannot understand it, but I understand the writings and text.
Thanks
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Proverbs 17:24
King James Version (KJV)
24Wisdom is before him that hath understanding; but the eyes of a fool are in the ends of the earth.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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