Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship
Reload this Page What Will Jesus Wear?
General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

View Poll Results: What Will Jesus Wear
White flowing robes 7 5.65%
Vesture dipped in blood 67 54.03%
$14,000 Oxxford suit 2 1.61%
Army fatigues 1 0.81%
General's uniform (Specify whether Confederate or Union) 1 0.81%
Cowboy boots, ten-gallon hat and six-shooter 46 37.10%
Voters: 124. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Pastor Rune Enoe's Avatar
Pastor Rune Enoe Pastor Rune Enoe is offline
Apostle of the North
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Tithing Manager Saved 5 Years Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Nerd Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Prune Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 11,870
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: On a mission to bring Christianity to the North
Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-26-2006, 09:17 PM

Brethren & Sistren

The coming of the Lord draweth nigh (James 5:8), which made me wonder what it's going to look like - and what He will wear.

The Bible tells us (Acts 1:11) that He "shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven", which means that He will appear in white flowing robes - perfect for hiding two swords (Luke 22:36-38) - or maybe He'll upgrade to a Glock?

The Bible also tells us Jesus will appear "clothed with a vesture dipped in blood" (Revelation 19:13). One would think the blood and gore would become a bit sticky after a few days and that He would like to change. But then the Bible also tells us that the Lord changeth not.

Maybe our annointed leader, Bush, will lend Him one of his $14.000 Oxxford suits? Will The King of Kings dress like a president? Or like a Soldier? Or General? Let me hear what you think.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-26-2006, 09:26 PM

I voted "White Flowy Robe".

Why, here he is fresh out of the tomb and his Robe is still crisp and white!

GLORY!!!!!!!!!
Attached Images
 




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Poetic Peter's Avatar
Poetic Peter Poetic Peter is offline
Christian Poet Emeritus
Forum Member

True Heterosexual™ Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture

 
Posts: 1,694
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Near to Him
Poetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-26-2006, 09:53 PM

This is so tough a choice.
I wish there were an option for "wearing the skin of the saved".

Begging to not to be rebuked for disagreeing with the Bible,
(for I do not; I like mysterious ways),

I see Jesus returning in the nude--His skin all a patch of nail-sized
bits of white, yellow, brown, blackend epidermis;
a Jesus of Grafts, as it were, of every mortal he ever skived saved.

In this wishful apparition I see
the Equinanimous I so wish to meet,
to contribute hide my bits to from.

Just in case, though, I vote "white robes", improbable as they seem.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Pastor Rune Enoe's Avatar
Pastor Rune Enoe Pastor Rune Enoe is offline
Apostle of the North
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Tithing Manager Saved 5 Years Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Nerd Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Prune Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 11,870
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: On a mission to bring Christianity to the North
Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-26-2006, 10:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
I voted "White Flowy Robe".

Why, here he is fresh out of the tomb and his Robe is still crisp and white!

GLORY!!!!!!!!!
I hate to tell you this, Sister, but that picture is a fake. The Bible tells us that Jesus left his linen clothes in the grave:

Luke 24:12 Then arose Peter, and ran unto the sepulchre; and stooping down, he beheld the linen clothes laid by themselves, and departed, wondering in himself at that which was come to pass.

John 20:6 Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie,
John 20:7 And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.

Mortal man is not fully equipped to understand the way of Christ and the will of God. But the Bible doesn't lie, and when Our Lord rose from the sepulchre He was butt naked.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-26-2006, 10:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish View Post
I hate to tell you this, Sister, but that picture is a fake. The Bible tells us that Jesus left his linen clothes in the grave:

Luke 24:12 Then arose Peter, and ran unto the sepulchre; and stooping down, he beheld the linen clothes laid by themselves, and departed, wondering in himself at that which was come to pass.

John 20:6 Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie,
John 20:7 And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.

Mortal man is not fully equipped to understand the way of Christ and the will of God. But the Bible doesn't lie, and when Our Lord rose from the sepulchre He was butt naked.

Oh MY Brother Danish!

Thank you for pointing that out. I had no idea!

As you know I was home schooled (as all True Christians™ should be) and I'm sure my GODLY Momma did not want my innocent, young mind tarnished by the thought of a naked JESUS.

With Love and appreciation, Sister Thumper




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Poetic Peter's Avatar
Poetic Peter Poetic Peter is offline
Christian Poet Emeritus
Forum Member

True Heterosexual™ Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture

 
Posts: 1,694
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Near to Him
Poetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-26-2006, 10:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish View Post
...the Bible doesn't lie, and when Our Lord rose from the sepulchre He was butt naked.
.................................................. .................................................. .....

My dream of Jesus, all in grafts, has haunted this Peter for years.
So--the dream is nearly real; I am
blessed with Partial Sight of Him.
I have been touched.


The question is, but then,
which color of skin will
His Will be mostly in?






WHITE!!!!


Last edited by Poetic Peter; 12-26-2006 at 10:45 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-26-2006, 11:23 PM

My GOD, Brother Danish, what Torture to choose only one! (I finally, finally, after almost wearing a bald spot into my head, chose "Vesture dipped in blood.")

Beginning this very moment, I am going to begin Praying we get six separate Comings of the Christ so I can see Him in all of them!!!

OH, how I was the Landover Fashion Police were still here to advise on these matters!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-26-2006, 11:54 PM

I believe he will have white flowing robes.. which are dipped in blood.
Praise Jesus!

Maybe you could add such an option?


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
lilith's Avatar
lilith lilith is offline
Night Hag
Forum Member

Uppity Woman/Enabler TC Bravery

 
Posts: 1,231
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Enzed
lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 02:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish View Post
I hate to tell you this, Sister, but that picture is a fake. The Bible tells us that Jesus left his linen clothes in the grave:

Luke 24:12 Then arose Peter, and ran unto the sepulchre; and stooping down, he beheld the linen clothes laid by themselves, and departed, wondering in himself at that which was come to pass.

John 20:6 Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie,
John 20:7 And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.

Mortal man is not fully equipped to understand the way of Christ and the will of God. But the Bible doesn't lie, and when Our Lord rose from the sepulchre He was butt naked.


Oh wonderful! Not only do we have to contend with bible bangers everywhere,now their sna...um...saviour's apparently going to turn up in his birthday suit!

Something else to look forward to.


In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 02:34 AM

Oh my GOD, Lilith, what if He turns up in that great big beautiful Golden shell like Mother Glynndie posted?!

However, His Baby Blues waving around at the end of eye-stalks is something I'd rather not consider Right now.....

(Don't tell those Holy Joes I even said this, okay? They're starting to give me funny looks as it is)

Last edited by SUV; 12-27-2006 at 04:39 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Mrs. Rogers's Avatar
Mrs. Rogers Mrs. Rogers is offline
compassion personified
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Lady True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Silver Tither Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 5 Years True Christian Homemaker Mission to Australia Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Protected by JESUS TC Bravery The Lord’s Witness Wound Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot True Heterosexual™ One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Born again virgin Pro-Life True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 02:53 AM

I voted for His wearing blood-drenched robes too - which, I imagine, He will slowly remove, standing before us naked ... clothed only in His Holy Wounds, oozing His eternal love for True Christians™. Perhaps then He will cast the bloody robes into Hell, where Lilith and Hellsinker await; having never bothered with anything as domestic as a washing machine during their earthly reign of terror, they will spend eternity trying to scrub Our Saviour's precious blood out of the cloth ... crying and wailing and gnashing their teeth, and gashing their knuckles on Hell's washboard ... which is, one assumes, made entirely of barbed wire; a marvel of Satan's evil technology.



True Christians are Perfect!

Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 03:59 AM

I have to go with the ten-gallon hat. Jesus loves America best of all. I'm sure he'll want to relect that preference by appearing before us as a cowboy ready to shoot some filthy savages like John Wayne.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 05:05 AM

I went with the blood. If the jesus of the bible had existed, it's what he would have preferred.

But I notice there was one option missing. What happened to 'a shell'? Don't snails wear shells? Didn't SUV and Lilith work out that he was snail? Since when do snails wear robes or cowboy boots?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 07:22 AM

This is about to cause a doctrinal problem. If JESUS is alive, in the sense we understand it, He must be on earth being alive like we are alive. Otherwise He has not yet returned to a human form and so is not 'alive' in human terms. Sadly, those of little faith make this and other similar silly arguments and claim that JESUS isn't coming back because he is dead and that's the end of the story.

What they don't realize is that JESUS is going to return for the sole purpose of killing those faithless unbelievers.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
OnYourKnees's Avatar
OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
 
Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 07:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
I went with the blood. If the jesus of the bible had existed, it's what he would have preferred.
Now, now. That's just the Jesus of Paul's part of the Bible, the overwrought massacrer of Unsaved (like you . . .).

The Jesus of the whole New Testament would have to wear white flowing robes covered only HALF in blood, to demonstrate His sweet, accepting, and loving nature, the fellow who spent his time with prostitutes, heathens, and other outcasts on the one hand, and His unquenchable lust for the blood of the Unsaved on the other. You know, like one of those half-and-half costumes:



Quote:
But I notice there was one option missing. What happened to 'a shell'? Don't snails wear shells? Didn't SUV and Lilith work out that he was snail? Since when do snails wear robes or cowboy boots?
Silly Van Heathen. In God, all things are possible. Even snails wearing robes or cowboy boots . . . HEY! Baby Jesus is NOT a SNAIL!
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Father Maurice Lester's Avatar
Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester is offline
Ring-kissing Papist dog
 

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society True Heterosexual™ Cathlick Five years in the service of the Enemy Condemned Aardvark Devil Evil Beastiality

 
Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 04:28 PM

Tsk, tsk.


When Jesus returns he will wear the same outfit as his representative(s) here on earth...DUH!!!!!



Bless you, my fashion challenged bipeds
Father Mo
Attached Images
  


A Cardinal in the making.

Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
tommy's Avatar
tommy tommy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 392
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: close to Jesusland
tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 04:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
Tsk, tsk.


When Jesus returns he will wear the same outfit as his representative(s) here on earth...DUH!!!!!



Bless you, my fashion challenged bipeds
Father Mo
Catholics are not his representatives. They think coming first actually matters. And even if Christ wanted them to become his church, they already wasted their chance. At this moment all God's hopes are in Landover baptist church. He might choose another church...so far he hasn't.

I think it's pointless to ask what will he wear. Why don't we just let him surprise us.


The Lord is a man of war: the Lord is his name.
Exodus 15:3

Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-27-2006, 04:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
When Jesus returns he will wear the same outfit as his representative(s) here on earth...DUH!!!!!
Now you just hush your stuff, Daddy Mole! If He returns wearing the same dress-Robe that you do, you are both going to 'Cut One Another Dead' - if not actively 'Bitch' each other! - distracting everyone from the GLOWry of the occasion!

(Would it be Sin to select a New Garment for Jesus each time I return to this thread? Being a Christian can be difficult!)

Last edited by SUV; 12-27-2006 at 07:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-28-2006, 12:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I have to go with the ten-gallon hat. Jesus loves America best of all. I'm sure he'll want to relect that preference by appearing before us as a cowboy ready to shoot some filthy savages like John Wayne.
I agree with The Pastor.
Even our Godly President George Bush (Peace be on him) enjoys dressing like Jesus®. His stetson is his Helmet of Salvation©

Name:  wld_cutoutgeorgewbush.jpg
Views: 63
Size:  28.3 KB

Isaiah 59:17-18
For he put on righteousness as a breastplate, and an helmet of salvation upon his head; and he put on the garments of vengeance for clothing, and was clad with zeal as a cloak.
According to their deeds, accordingly he will repay, fury to his adversaries, recompence to his enemies; to the islands he will repay recompence.

Praise©
.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Deaner's Avatar
Deaner Deaner is offline
Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™

True Christian™ Long service medal, 2nd class One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Best Mullet Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '06 Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound TC Bravery Ready for the Rapture Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Flat Earth Tell her once The Lord’s Witness Wound Eats the Most Pork Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Persecuted Porn Resistant Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Tagging for Jesus Saved 5 Years Divorcee Super Soaker Baptism Award Real American™ Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Truck Stop Ministry Member Chariot of Fire True Christian Hotrodder Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor 4th Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 1st Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class In Love With Zeke

 
Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What Will Jesus Wear? - 12-28-2006, 12:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
This is so tough a choice.
I see Jesus returning in the nude--His skin all a patch of nail-sized
bits of white, yellow, brown, blackend epidermis;
a Jesus of Grafts, as it were, of every mortal he ever skived saved.
That's a very touching sentiment Brother Poet. So, in your vision, Jesus is like a giant quilt of the saved? That's extremely comforting.

Dean
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved