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Ezekiel 4-6
Ezekiel 4
1 Thou also, son of man, take thee a tile, and lay it before thee, and pourtray upon it the city, even Jerusalem:
Tile is a brick. God told Ezekiel to take a brick and put it in front of him. It would represent Jerusalem. This is sad. Jerusalem used to be a jewel, a crown, gold. Now, it's being represented as nothing more than a common brick.
2 And lay siege against it, and build a fort against it, and cast a mount against it; set the camp also against it, and set battering rams against it round about.
Zeke was to play war against the brick.
4 Lie thou also upon thy left side, and lay the iniquity of the house of Israel upon it: according to the number of the days that thou shalt lie upon it thou shalt bear their iniquity.
God told Ezekiel to lay on his left side.
5 For I have laid upon thee the years of their iniquity, according to the number of the days, three hundred and ninety days: so shalt thou bear the iniquity of the house of Israel.
A lot of Bible commentaries say something like this: 390 days is like 13 months, and we know the siege of Jerusalem was 18 months, the five missing months is when the Egyptian army came and the Chaldeans withdrew (for 5 months), and that gives the exact number of 390. Huzzah. That sounds like suspect math and trying to get something to fit into what you want it to mean.
6 And when thou hast accomplished them, lie again on thy right side, and thou shalt bear the iniquity of the house of Judah forty days: I have appointed thee each day for a year.
Ok, so now we have another 40 days/years that he's lying down on the job.
Perry Stone of Manna Fest did some math stuff once. His was a lot more interesting.
He said something about a seven times punishment, but I'm not sure what he was talking about.
8 And, behold, I will lay bands upon thee, and thou shalt not turn thee from one side to another, till thou hast ended the days of thy siege.
Those were possibly bed sores.
9 Take thou also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentiles, and millet, and fitches, and put them in one vessel, and make thee bread thereof, according to the number of the days that thou shalt lie upon thy side, three hundred and ninety days shalt thou eat thereof.
Honestly, that sounds like some delicious bread. But in actuality, beans, and the other things don't make very good bread.
10 And thy meat which thou shalt eat shall be by weight, twenty shekels a day: from time to time shalt thou eat it.
Even if it was really good bread, he only got to eat 20 shekels worth. Twenty shekels is about 10 ounces. That's not much. For 390 days (plus 40) he only got to eat 10 ounces of bread a day.
11 Thou shalt drink also water by measure, the sixth part of an hin: from time to time shalt thou drink.
Oh, and you only get to drink a sixth of a hin of water a day. That comes out to about half a pint, 8 ounces.
12 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.
It's not bad enough that he only gets to eat 10 ounces of bread, and drink 8 ounces of water, he has to cook the bread over a human shit stove.
Some people will tell you that during the time he lay on his side that he only had to do it for a certain amount of time each day. The time when people would come to visit him. This makes no sense whatsoever. A cup of wheat has 214 calories, in 108 grams. There are 28.349 grams in an ounce. 10 ounces is 283 grams. If Ezekiel's bread was just wheat, it would have been 283 ounces of wheat, that comes out to about 561 calories in a day. Ezekiel wouldn't have the strength to do anything other than just lie on his side all day.
14 Then said I, Ah Lord GOD! behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth up even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself, or is torn in pieces; neither came there abominable flesh into my mouth.
Zeke sounds a lot like Peter in Acts 10:14.
16 Moreover he said unto me, Son of man, behold, I will break the staff of bread in Jerusalem: and they shall eat bread by weight, and with care; and they shall drink water by measure, and with astonishment:
God said that Zeke's diet will be very reminiscent of the diet of the people who are under siege in Jerusalem. They will have measured bread, and measured water.
Ezekiel 5
1 And thou, son of man, take thee a sharp knife, take thee a barber's razor, and cause it to pass upon thine head and upon thy beard: then take thee balances to weigh, and divide the hair.
Making yourself bald, and without facial hair was a MASSIVE deal for these people. Even today, look up an image of Hasidic Jew and you see guys with long beards and hair. Look up a picture of almost any jew today and you'll see a jewfro. Jews love their hair, they are hardly ever bald.
2 Thou shalt burn with fire a third part in the midst of the city, when the days of the siege are fulfilled: and thou shalt take a third part, and smite about it with a knife: and a third part thou shalt scatter in the wind; and I will draw out a sword after them.
The hair represented Jerusalem. God was tired of it all, the hair was too long and ungainly. God wanted a new hairstyle. Instead of just going to a barber, God did the thing he does so well; he cut it all off. Instead of just weeding his garden, he plowed the whole thing under.
God doesn't just shave his head though... no, God then takes a third of his hair and burns it; a third he stabs with a knife, and a third he scatters in the wind. God could have given his hair to locks of love, and maybe a kid with cancer could have had a wig, but not our LORD! God gave the kid cancer, why would he want him to have a wig?
9 And I will do in thee that which I have not done, and whereunto I will not do any more the like, because of all thine abominations.
God was really really mad.
10 Therefore the fathers shall eat the sons in the midst of thee, and the sons shall eat their fathers; and I will execute judgments in thee, and the whole remnant of thee will I scatter into all the winds.
Cannibalism. Awesome.
13 Thus shall mine anger be accomplished, and I will cause my fury to rest upon them, and I will be comforted: and they shall know that I the LORD have spoken it in my zeal, when I have accomplished my fury in them.
At some point, God may start to grow his hair back. I wonder if God had any weird scars on top of his head?
Ezekiel 6
FYI, God is still angry.
2 Son of man, set thy face toward the mountains of Israel, and prophesy against them,
Now he's mad at the mountains.
3 And say, Ye mountains of Israel, hear the word of the Lord GOD; Thus saith the Lord GOD to the mountains, and to the hills, to the rivers, and to the valleys; Behold, I, even I, will bring a sword upon you, and I will destroy your high places.
Is God going to do some Mountaintop Removal Mining? Is there coal in Israel?
5 And I will lay the dead carcases of the children of Israel before their idols; and I will scatter your bones round about your altars.
Ok, remember, it's bad (unclean) for Jews to touch dead things. It's bad for people to be cannibals. I wonder if the bodies of the dead that were eaten because they were starving were prepared kosher.
7 And the slain shall fall in the midst of you, and ye shall know that I am the LORD.
I doubt the people will know that God is the LORD when most of them die. They don't seem to know ever that he is.
11 Thus saith the Lord GOD; Smite with thine hand, and stamp with thy foot, and say, Alas for all the evil abominations of the house of Israel! for they shall fall by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence.
God's going to kill them, but they brought it on themselves.
13 Then shall ye know that I am the LORD, when their slain men shall be among their idols round about their altars, upon every high hill, in all the tops of the mountains, and under every green tree, and under every thick oak, the place where they did offer sweet savour to all their idols.
They will get their just rewards for worshiping their idols.
So what have we learned today?
1. 390 days of siege, maybe.
2. 590 calorie diet, maybe.
3. We're all gonna die.
YIC
V
Ezekiel 4
1 Thou also, son of man, take thee a tile, and lay it before thee, and pourtray upon it the city, even Jerusalem:
Tile is a brick. God told Ezekiel to take a brick and put it in front of him. It would represent Jerusalem. This is sad. Jerusalem used to be a jewel, a crown, gold. Now, it's being represented as nothing more than a common brick.
2 And lay siege against it, and build a fort against it, and cast a mount against it; set the camp also against it, and set battering rams against it round about.
Zeke was to play war against the brick.
4 Lie thou also upon thy left side, and lay the iniquity of the house of Israel upon it: according to the number of the days that thou shalt lie upon it thou shalt bear their iniquity.
God told Ezekiel to lay on his left side.
5 For I have laid upon thee the years of their iniquity, according to the number of the days, three hundred and ninety days: so shalt thou bear the iniquity of the house of Israel.
A lot of Bible commentaries say something like this: 390 days is like 13 months, and we know the siege of Jerusalem was 18 months, the five missing months is when the Egyptian army came and the Chaldeans withdrew (for 5 months), and that gives the exact number of 390. Huzzah. That sounds like suspect math and trying to get something to fit into what you want it to mean.
6 And when thou hast accomplished them, lie again on thy right side, and thou shalt bear the iniquity of the house of Judah forty days: I have appointed thee each day for a year.
Ok, so now we have another 40 days/years that he's lying down on the job.
Perry Stone of Manna Fest did some math stuff once. His was a lot more interesting.
He said something about a seven times punishment, but I'm not sure what he was talking about.
8 And, behold, I will lay bands upon thee, and thou shalt not turn thee from one side to another, till thou hast ended the days of thy siege.
Those were possibly bed sores.
9 Take thou also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentiles, and millet, and fitches, and put them in one vessel, and make thee bread thereof, according to the number of the days that thou shalt lie upon thy side, three hundred and ninety days shalt thou eat thereof.
Honestly, that sounds like some delicious bread. But in actuality, beans, and the other things don't make very good bread.
10 And thy meat which thou shalt eat shall be by weight, twenty shekels a day: from time to time shalt thou eat it.
Even if it was really good bread, he only got to eat 20 shekels worth. Twenty shekels is about 10 ounces. That's not much. For 390 days (plus 40) he only got to eat 10 ounces of bread a day.
11 Thou shalt drink also water by measure, the sixth part of an hin: from time to time shalt thou drink.
Oh, and you only get to drink a sixth of a hin of water a day. That comes out to about half a pint, 8 ounces.
12 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.
It's not bad enough that he only gets to eat 10 ounces of bread, and drink 8 ounces of water, he has to cook the bread over a human shit stove.
Some people will tell you that during the time he lay on his side that he only had to do it for a certain amount of time each day. The time when people would come to visit him. This makes no sense whatsoever. A cup of wheat has 214 calories, in 108 grams. There are 28.349 grams in an ounce. 10 ounces is 283 grams. If Ezekiel's bread was just wheat, it would have been 283 ounces of wheat, that comes out to about 561 calories in a day. Ezekiel wouldn't have the strength to do anything other than just lie on his side all day.
14 Then said I, Ah Lord GOD! behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth up even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself, or is torn in pieces; neither came there abominable flesh into my mouth.
Zeke sounds a lot like Peter in Acts 10:14.
16 Moreover he said unto me, Son of man, behold, I will break the staff of bread in Jerusalem: and they shall eat bread by weight, and with care; and they shall drink water by measure, and with astonishment:
God said that Zeke's diet will be very reminiscent of the diet of the people who are under siege in Jerusalem. They will have measured bread, and measured water.
Ezekiel 5
1 And thou, son of man, take thee a sharp knife, take thee a barber's razor, and cause it to pass upon thine head and upon thy beard: then take thee balances to weigh, and divide the hair.
Making yourself bald, and without facial hair was a MASSIVE deal for these people. Even today, look up an image of Hasidic Jew and you see guys with long beards and hair. Look up a picture of almost any jew today and you'll see a jewfro. Jews love their hair, they are hardly ever bald.
2 Thou shalt burn with fire a third part in the midst of the city, when the days of the siege are fulfilled: and thou shalt take a third part, and smite about it with a knife: and a third part thou shalt scatter in the wind; and I will draw out a sword after them.
The hair represented Jerusalem. God was tired of it all, the hair was too long and ungainly. God wanted a new hairstyle. Instead of just going to a barber, God did the thing he does so well; he cut it all off. Instead of just weeding his garden, he plowed the whole thing under.
God doesn't just shave his head though... no, God then takes a third of his hair and burns it; a third he stabs with a knife, and a third he scatters in the wind. God could have given his hair to locks of love, and maybe a kid with cancer could have had a wig, but not our LORD! God gave the kid cancer, why would he want him to have a wig?
9 And I will do in thee that which I have not done, and whereunto I will not do any more the like, because of all thine abominations.
God was really really mad.
10 Therefore the fathers shall eat the sons in the midst of thee, and the sons shall eat their fathers; and I will execute judgments in thee, and the whole remnant of thee will I scatter into all the winds.
Cannibalism. Awesome.
13 Thus shall mine anger be accomplished, and I will cause my fury to rest upon them, and I will be comforted: and they shall know that I the LORD have spoken it in my zeal, when I have accomplished my fury in them.
At some point, God may start to grow his hair back. I wonder if God had any weird scars on top of his head?
Ezekiel 6
FYI, God is still angry.
2 Son of man, set thy face toward the mountains of Israel, and prophesy against them,
Now he's mad at the mountains.
3 And say, Ye mountains of Israel, hear the word of the Lord GOD; Thus saith the Lord GOD to the mountains, and to the hills, to the rivers, and to the valleys; Behold, I, even I, will bring a sword upon you, and I will destroy your high places.
Is God going to do some Mountaintop Removal Mining? Is there coal in Israel?
5 And I will lay the dead carcases of the children of Israel before their idols; and I will scatter your bones round about your altars.
Ok, remember, it's bad (unclean) for Jews to touch dead things. It's bad for people to be cannibals. I wonder if the bodies of the dead that were eaten because they were starving were prepared kosher.
7 And the slain shall fall in the midst of you, and ye shall know that I am the LORD.
I doubt the people will know that God is the LORD when most of them die. They don't seem to know ever that he is.
11 Thus saith the Lord GOD; Smite with thine hand, and stamp with thy foot, and say, Alas for all the evil abominations of the house of Israel! for they shall fall by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence.
God's going to kill them, but they brought it on themselves.
13 Then shall ye know that I am the LORD, when their slain men shall be among their idols round about their altars, upon every high hill, in all the tops of the mountains, and under every green tree, and under every thick oak, the place where they did offer sweet savour to all their idols.
They will get their just rewards for worshiping their idols.
So what have we learned today?
1. 390 days of siege, maybe.
2. 590 calorie diet, maybe.
3. We're all gonna die.
YIC
V
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