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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! -
09-28-2012, 04:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
What, exactly, are we talking about here? It sounds dirty (ice cream cone?).
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I think he means this:
(NSFW)
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! -
09-28-2012, 07:06 PM
No, friends, cunnilingus involves eating something even more sinful than poo poo. There is Biblical precedent for eating dung, but nowhere in the Bible does it say you should eat what cunnilingus involves.
I don't want to say anything more on the subject, but trust me on this one, it's really, really bad.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 285
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Islamic Caliphate of Germany
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Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! -
09-28-2012, 08:56 PM
Why not simply rape and then marry her according to Deuteronomy 22:28-29? What more of a "traditional wedding" can the father expect? I suppose the fifty shekels can be charged against the $60,000,000? Is there an error in reasoning?
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! -
09-28-2012, 09:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
Just a minute! Which one did he come back with? You know it's the one on the right! The more presentable slant? Not the one on the left with short hair, glasses and the fake cat.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones
How would you know, brother? They all look exactly alike.
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Well, the bad news is that my son did indeed capture the wrong person. Weirdly enough, no matter how often I point out he is an idiot, he keeps acting like an idiot. The good news however, is that we got the money anyway. The Chinaman was so overjoyed he was allowed to leave that he paid full price. I have never seen one run so fast.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! -
09-28-2012, 09:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-soccer player
Why not simply rape and then marry her according to Deuteronomy 22:28-29? What more of a "traditional wedding" can the father expect? I suppose the fifty shekels can be charged against the $60,000,000? Is there an error in reasoning?
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Not so fast, buddy. Thanks to the unchecked inflation we've experienced under Obama, if you rape a woman, you will owe her father $55 million!
And I'm sure that money would be payable prior to the marriage and prior to you getting the $60 million.
So I guess if you really wanted to, you could invest $55 million to make $5 million profit, but if you've got that much to invest, you'd be better off talking to our own Free Market Fred about investment opportunities that give you a better return.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 285
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Islamic Caliphate of Germany
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Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! -
09-28-2012, 10:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
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$55 million for one rape??? You have to pay this to a father who can't even keep his daughters locked up until he finds a proper Christian husband? This is beyond reason. It explaines of course the high number of fake "rapes"
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! -
09-29-2012, 01:45 AM
This is one reason I try to avoid being alone with women as much as possible. I live in constant fear that I will become the victim of a false rape accusation and wind up having my wages garnished for life.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! -
09-29-2012, 02:15 AM
Hmm, yeah, I don't know about "going down" on a female chink. Is he offering anything if I fuck the dogs?
Every dime will be donated to LBC of course.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 497
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: San Diego, CA
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Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! -
09-29-2012, 06:51 AM
"me ruv u rontime, 65 miun dorra"
No thanks, I'd rather spend eternity in Heaven than take satan's money now and live like a billionaire having sex with an attractive Asian lesbian (and probably multiple attractive partner/s) for the rest of my life.
Genesis 28:1: "And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan."
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