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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-28-2008, 03:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Guy View Post
Number 31 is on my to do list for October.
Numbers 31 is on MY to-do list, too!! Also,

62. Visit the Holy Land. While there, destroy that ugly mosque built on the site of God's Temple. Use the tunnels under it for access.

63. Perform scientific experiment to determine whether fat witches burn at a higher temperature than thin witches.

64. Convince Fred Phelps that, while his commitment to the Lord is admirable, it is necessary to look at other Commandments as well. Encourage him to branch out into adultery, blended fabrics, and working on the Sabbath.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-28-2008, 03:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Sorry, this list is for actual Christians, not papist dogs.
What I meant to say is: while these actions might be Biblical, federal law forbids them, so don't be surprised if somebody rats you out and you get arrested and face life in prison (your state doesn't have the death penalty)


ACTS 5:29

Quote:
But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-28-2008, 04:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
64. Convince Fred Phelps that, while his commitment to the Lord is admirable, it is necessary to look at other Commandments as well. Encourage him to branch out into adultery, blended fabrics, and working on the Sabbath.
Not to mention rape victims.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
What I meant to say is: while these actions might be Biblical, federal law forbids them, so don't be surprised if somebody rats you out and you get arrested and face life in prison (your state doesn't have the death penalty)
You Romanists certainly have a lot of experience in doing time for your "church" activities. Anyway, this one is in your honor:

65. Serve on a jury so that you can acquit a True Christian™ who has exercised his freedom of speech in a particularly vigorous manner against homers or other sinners.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-28-2008, 05:45 PM

66. Go to an Obama rally and keep yelling, "Baraaaaaaaack! Baraaaaaaack!" They'll love my enthusiasm? But the joke's on them.

67. Begin paying attention in Brother Harry's Bible Study class so I will learn what the Bible is really saying to me instead of only pretending to undersand it and when I don't yelling Baraaaaack! Baraaaaaack! to Create a diversion.

68. Find a more socially-acceptable recipe for dungbread. Since so many edibles aren't made from real ingredients any more, would it be sin to substitute artificial, non-organic dung?
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 03:23 AM

67. Enjoy a steaming plate of Rabbit Casserole prepared by True Christian™ women.
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 03:26 AM

My bad, it was number 69. Also, my wife found a recipe here. All you True Christian™ ladies might want to try it out, but I'm sure you have books full of your own by now (and if you don't I want to know what the hell you've been talking about in all those Ladies Of Landover meetings! )
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 03:49 AM

70. Deliverance from DEMONS!


HOW YOU (CHRISTIAN) CAN, AND DO, HAVE DEMONS -

EVERYONE HAS DEMONS, NO EXCEPTIONS.


When you are Born Again as a Christian/Believer/True Worshiper, JESUS/Holy Spirit comes to abide in your SPIRIT. Demons CANNOT get INTO your Spirit.

You are a triune being - BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT. Your SOUL is your MIND, WILL and EMOTIONS.

First is your BODY. Christians can have a sickness/disease just like the unSaved. That's caused by demons (if not caused by other factors).

Second is your SOUL. Do you have a bad temper? That's a demon. Is there mental illness in your family background? That is a demon. Do you have trouble serving God? That's a demon. Do you have problems with bad thoughts? That is a demon.

Third is your SPIRIT. Demons cannot get into your SPIRIT, but, the demons surround your SPIRIT like a glass jar surrounds its contents, and you have trouble serving the Lord JESUS the way the bible tells you to do or that you want. The contents of the jar cannot get out until you remove the lid (demons). Deliverance can get rid of the demons.

Looking for a Miracle? In Mark 9:39, Jesus calls Deliverance a Miracle. Get your Miracle today.

Mark 1:39 - And He (Jesus) preached in their synagogues (churches) throughout ALL Galilee and CAST OUT DEMONS. (IN the church? Yes! Is your church casting out demons?) If not, pack your bags and stay home.

IF My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave, and require of necessity My face AND turn from their wicked ways, THEN will I hear from Heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land. II Chronicles 7:14

Jesus said, Those that Believe SHALL cast out demons (Mark 16:17). Are you a Believer? Yes or no? If you have a Christian Ministry, why are you not obeying this command of Jesus?

Acts 5:32 - And we are His witnesses of these things; and so is also the Holy Ghost who God hath given to them THAT OBEY HIM. Matthew 28:19 - Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Matthew 28:20 - Teaching them to observe ALL things whatsoever I have COMMANDED you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen. Jesus commanded ALL Believers to cast out demons.

1 John 1:7 - THE BLOOD OF JESUS CLEANSES YOU FROM ALL SIN AND GUILT Want to go to Heaven when you die? Say the below suggested prayer, then keep Jesus in your life daily. JESUS, FORGIVE ME OF MY SINS. I REPENT OF MY SINS. COME INTO MY LIFE. FILL ME WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT.

JESUS IS THE DELIVERER!!

GLORY!!





Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27





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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 05:08 AM

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Originally Posted by Stormfront View Post
67. Enjoy a steaming plate of Rabbit Casserole prepared by True Christian™ women.
Leviticus 11:6 and Deuteronomy 14:7 forbids eating rabbit, hare, hyrax or coney as they chew the cud


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 12:44 PM

71. Donate over $100,000 to the GOP
72. Appear in a 'Swift Boat Veterans For Truth' advertisement
73. Not forgetting 9/11™


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 01:00 PM

74. Never forget Terry Schaivo!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 03:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Guy View Post
Leviticus 11:6 and Deuteronomy 14:7 forbids eating rabbit, hare, hyrax or coney as they chew the cud
We are no longer bound by the old kosher dietary laws (see Acts 10:10-16)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
74. Never forget Terry Schaivo!
Who was a Catholic who I'm sure received Anointing of the Sick.

See, not all Catholics are hellbound!


ACTS 5:29

Quote:
But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 07:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Guy View Post
kill/dunk a witch/wiccan/goth
Isn't killing against christianity? Killing is only justifiable if you kill someone to save innocent lifes, and I pretty sure that every single goth/witch/wiccan isn't evil like you make them out to be. Actually you're killing innocent people by doing that, so technically I have the right to kill you.
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 07:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by christain-goth View Post
Isn't killing against christianity? Killing is only justifiable if you kill someone to save innocent lifes, and I pretty sure that every single goth/witch/wiccan isn't evil like you make them out to be. Actually you're killing innocent people by doing that, so technically I have the right to kill you.
Killing is far from unchristian. In fact, Christianity commands the killing of many different types of people, not just witches. Disobedient children, blasphemers and homosexuals are just some of those that we are commanded to kill. No Goth/witch/wiccan is innocent, and not only do you NOT have the right to kill me, you have no rights here at all. Period.
Now read the passages below to see what the bible says we are to do about you and your kind.
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live - exodus 22:18
There shall not be found among you anyone ....that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter or a witch, or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer. :Deuteronomy 18
19Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.Galatians 5 19:21
8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death -Revelations 21:8


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 07:51 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Guy View Post
Killing is far from unchristian. In fact, Christianity commands the killing of many different types of people, not just witches. Disobedient children, blasphemers and homosexuals are just some of those that we are commanded to kill. No Goth/witch/wiccan is innocent, and not only do you NOT have the right to kill me, you have no rights here at all. Period.
Now read the passages below to see what the bible says we are to do about you and your kind.
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live - exodus 22:18
There shall not be found among you anyone ....that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter or a witch, or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer. :Deuteronomy 18
19Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.Galatians 5 19:21
8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death -Revelations 21:8
Amen Brother Guy!

It is easy to see that this "christain" did not even attempt to look it up in the Bible!

Put forth a little work before you start throwing accusations around.


Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 08:24 PM

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Originally Posted by Ebenezer Wright View Post
Amen Brother Guy!

It is easy to see that this "christain" did not even attempt to look it up in the Bible!

Put forth a little work before you start throwing accusations around.
Hallelujah Brother Ebenezer!
this 'christain gothtard' may be interested to know that the bible forbids MURDER - but commands us to kill in Gods name, and allows us to kill in other circumstances, such as the death penalty, battle, and various other situations. Abortion and euthenasia, both being premeditated acts are classified as 'MURDER' and are not allowed. Witch killing (goths, emos, wiccans etc) is completely permissable however.


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-29-2008, 08:58 PM

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Originally Posted by christain-goth View Post
Isn't killing against christianity? Killing is only justifiable if you kill someone to save innocent lifes, and I pretty sure that every single goth/witch/wiccan isn't evil like you make them out to be. Actually you're killing innocent people by doing that, so technically I have the right to kill you.
Please visit the christian History forum and read my thread entitled "kill - its the christian thing to do". This explains the difference between 'murder' and 'killing', and why 'killing is quite acceptable, whereas 'murder' is not.


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-30-2008, 02:54 AM

75: Send a 'congratulations" card to a family you know who have had a family member killed while in the armed services.


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-30-2008, 02:59 AM

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Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
Who was a Catholic who I'm sure received Anointing of the Sick.

See, not all Catholics are hellbound!
Don't be ridiculous! The only papist in Heaven right now is an EX-papist, a REPENTANT papist. Terry is being tortured in hell right now, alongside all your antiChrist popes.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-30-2008, 08:51 AM

76. Enjoy the missionary position with your spouse, in your own bed.


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-30-2008, 12:11 PM

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76. Enjoy the missionary position with your spouse, in your own bed.
Brother Guy, did the "Missionary position" get it's Name from catlick Missionaries performing...rapine...on the heethens they sought to c-o-n-Vert? (Forgive Me® for bringing up such a salacious subject on our Family board)
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