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  • bald is bootiful

    So the waters were healed unto this day, according to the saying of Elisha which he spake.
    And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
    And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
    <--- that be 2 kings 2:22-24


    i lurve them verses cuz the lady bears killeds the mean childrins it not pay to tease a man of lord God , an
    Mr.Elisha were balds but he not embarrassseds, he be prouds, he be a warrior for crome domes eveywhere!

    nowadays it ok to be a q-ball, but the world still be cruels to them combover folks. but i founds some bootiful verses for all you true Christian™ menfolk wiv them combovers cuz there be lots an lots of you, there be more combover Christians than there be stars in all the skys


    And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
    And he that hath his hair fallen off from the part of his head toward his face, he is forehead bald: yet is he clean.
    And if there be in the bald head, or bald forehead, a white reddish sore; it is a leprosy sprung up in his bald head, or his bald forehead.
    Then the priest shall look upon it: and, behold, if the rising of the sore be white reddish in his bald head, or in his bald forehead, as the leprosy appeareth in the skin of the flesh;
    He is a leprous man, he is unclean: the priest shall pronounce him utterly unclean; his plague is in his head.
    <--- that be leviticus 13:40-44


    so it ok wiv lord God if you forehead balds, as long as you not gots them leper saws


    he be bootiful clean forehead balds

    Last edited by Petal; 09-19-2006, 05:20 AM.

  • #2
    Hmm, I must say I prefer a full head of hair. Chrome domes really don't do it for me.

    But hey, each to their own.
    sigpic
    Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Petal View Post
      So the waters were healed unto this day, according to the saying of Elisha which he spake.
      And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
      And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. <--- that be 2 kings 2:22-24


      i lurve them verses cuz the lady bears killeds the mean childrins it not pay to tease a man of lord God , an Mr.Elisha were balds but he not embarrassseds, he be prouds, he be a warrior for crome domes eveywhere!
      As much as I love those verses, I can't help finding (given the inherent similarity between children and midgets) that they always remind me of this story. Of course, there's a vital difference, in that that story is a satanic hoax, whereas every single word of the KJV1611 is a Divine Revelation straight from God. PRAISE!
      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
        Hmm, I must say I prefer a full head of hair.
        Lezbertarians typically do.
        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

        Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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        • #5
          Actually baldness is very "manly". In most cases it's due to the overproduction of testosterone.

          Moon
          You pray...I dance naked in the forest

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          • #6
            Re: bald is bootiful

            Originally posted by Petal View Post
            So the waters were healed unto this day, according to the saying of Elisha which he spake.
            And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
            And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. <--- that be 2 kings 2:22-24


            i lurve them verses cuz the lady bears killeds the mean childrins it not pay to tease a man of lord God
            Petal -

            Once again, your wisdom shows us the way!


            The Lord our God is truly a vengeful God,

            of delicate sensibilities

            who does not take jests toward Himself

            or His Servants

            lightly!


            Much as God reserves infinite, eternal suffering for any who would dare transgress against any one of His many, many Laws (ignorance of the Law of God is no excuse), God also caused those bears to rise up and dismember those horrid children for their vile words against one of His Servants! Doubtless, they went straight to Hell's BBQ Pit, so Satan could have Baby Back Ribs for all eternity!

            Truly, our God is wise and just!

            And probably bald.

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            • #7
              Re: bald is bootiful

              Originally posted by Petal View Post
              So the waters were healed unto this day, according to the saying of Elisha which he spake.
              And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
              And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
              <--- that be 2 kings 2:22-


              Mel Gibson needs to make a movie based on this holy plot.


              Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
              I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
              Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
              Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
              Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
              - Ovid

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              • #8
                Re: bald is bootiful

                Originally posted by Arethusa View Post
                Mel Gibson needs to make a movie based on this holy plot.
                I'm afraid Petal has beaten him to it. Just watch this film clip 42 times.

                Click image for larger version

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                A wise man’s heart inclines him to the right, but a fool’s heart to the left. (Ecclesiastes 10:2)

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                • #9
                  Re: bald is bootiful

                  Bald can be bootiful...it can...
                  The Lord is a man of war: the Lord is his name.
                  Exodus 15:3

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                  • #10
                    Re: bald is bootiful

                    I ADORE skinheads! OHhhh be still my heart!!!!
                    "I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

                    "Don't dream it...BE IT!"

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                    • #11
                      Re: bald is bootiful

                      Originally posted by TwinkBoy View Post
                      I ADORE skinheads! OHhhh be still my heart!!!!
                      BEGONE, DEMON!
                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: bald is bootiful

                        Originally posted by TwinkBoy View Post
                        I ADORE skinheads! OHhhh be still my heart!!!!
                        And skinheads would adore you, I'm sure....

                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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